Without Embarrassment Womens Needs | Page 3

overcome with a
courageous burst of willpower. What is really suffocating your social life is more akin to
a phobia that finds its source in a complex webwork of shame and shaming events that
may have either happened to you suddenly in a traumatic event, or (more insidiously)
built up in a very subtle and gradual fashion that was so far beneath your radar screen
that you never knew what hit you.
Bit by bit you were made to understand that certain natural emotions which were
beginning to express themselves as you started to become aware of your world and your
relationships to the various people in them were bad... they were to be repressed and
hidden away and never acted upon. And the tool used by society, your teachers, parents
and other authority figures to control your behavior (and ultimately your thoughts) was
the powerful psychological hammer of shame. The integration of shame and shaming
events into your young and highly vulnerable psyche served to provoke painful thoughts
and memories that eventually had to be flushed from your system by various mood
altering methods, or they would drive you to madness... that's how powerful they are.
All addictive behaviors find their source in a long-ago integrated
and repressed feeling of
shame. But it's the warped thoughts and controlling behaviors that are even more
dangerous to our healthy development as mentally well balanced individuals.
In men, one of the places that this terrible shame can create problems is in our
self-concept of what it means to be a man, and by extension, of how we handle the most
critical aspect of our "maleness" i.e., our romantic-sexual relationships with women.
Did you ever say to a girl, "something about you makes me feel young again..."?
That can be a great line, but it has to be used at just the right moment. Too soon and it
seems lame and stupid, too late and, well... it's too late. You see, when it comes to the
magnificent Art of Seduction, everything is all about timing. But if you're held tight in
the grip of shame, merely trying to say these words will feel as if you're rolling a huge
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boulder up a steep hill.
I'm no scientist and I don't claim to have all the answers (or the reams of hard data
to back them up), but I know about the problem that certain types of non-aggressive
males (like me) have with women... Females will not mate with non- aggressive males!
This is a fact of life all throughout nature... from rats and worms to pigs and dogs,
monkeys and humans. Why not? Because seduction and mating and reproduction are
not about rationality. They're about survival of the fittest -- and the urges that produce
them are not worried about protecting anyone's ego. Hell, these drives are not even
aware of the existence of "egos" – although their expression can be disrupted by them.
On the surface, it may seem as if humans have civilized the mating dance so much
that it bears little resemblance to the actions of lower animals, but you'll see that so very
much of what goes on between men and women is spoken only in the language of
movements and looks and attitudes. So much so that it's a wonder we even bother to
weave words into the process at all! But, alas, we do... and so you must know how to
manage your words very precisely. I will show you a scheme -- a template -- for using
words and actions that will insure you of the best possible chance of impressing women
with your desirability as a Man, no matter how much of a wimp you may've seemed like
so far. You see, it's all about training and knowledge. I give you a bit of my humble
knowledge, and you give yourself the training. Before long you are free to advance
onward into the next phase -- the love and romance phase -- of your life’s journey.
And like a man with a tiger outside his gate,
Not only couldn't relax but he couldn't relate...
Now he can,
family man,
tried my brand...
Ah, if only it were so easy. But I'll tell you this... with just a few crucial
understandings of exactly what it is that women find attractive in a man (certain
“signaling” behaviors) and how to affect those behaviors in just the right way when
you're around them, it isn't all that difficult to overcome your seemingly impenetrable
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fear of rejection. Women become “fast rejecters” once they begin to get some
experience with men hitting on them. They get to sample many