Who Was Who: 5000 B. C. to Date | Page 5

of his time. It is difficult to leave Italy without
seeing much of his work. A. never favored the cubists or
post-impressionists. Recreations: Painting, sculpture. Address: Rome.
ANTHONY, Saint, of Pauda. An Italian who visited Paris, and could
not forget what he saw.
ANTOINETTE, Marie, wife of Louis No. 15, who assisted her husband
to spend the French taxes. Was also a practical joker, her humor
terminating at Versailles when she advised a mob to eat cake during a
bread famine. Her wit was unappreciated. Ambition: Anything but
October 16, 1791. Recreation: Versailles; looking through a grated
window. Address: Versailles. Later: Consiergerie, Paris.
APOLLO, a handsome ancient who fell in love, posed for his statues,
patronized music and poetry, and, finally, had a table water named in
his honor. Career: See longer and less respectable biographies. A. was
the first person to sing to the accompaniment of a musical instrument,
but he was a good singer. Ambition: Paris. Recreation: Music, travel,
archery. Address: Greece. Clubs: Athletic, musical.
ARC, Joan of, celebrated French suffragette. Spent girlhood milking
cows and embroidering. When the English ministry began operations in
France J. dropped her embroidery in the milk bucket and began
suffragetting. She did not break windows or blow up anything.
Gathered a host of males about her and captured towns. English exited.
J. went back to the cow, but again had to take to the armor. She was
finally jailed, and burnt up by the Radical ministry. She burned an old
maid. Recreation: Barn dances, churning. Clubs: Orleans Suffragette.
ARISTOTLE. Introduced brains into Greece.
ARMOUR, a Chicago family who keep the world supplied with meat,
and themselves out of the government jails.
ARNOLD, Benedict, a man who sent his name down through history
with a bad odor attached to it.
ARTHUR, King, a very dead English sovereign who manufactured the
Round Table, and did all the things a good English king should do.
Little is known of his Prince of Waleshood. Was crowned in
Westminster Abbey, but without the American contingent. Became
proficient as a knight. Stayed away from the palace so much his queen
began flirting. Al's sword was a wonder. Press Agent: Lord Tennyson.

recreation: Grailing. Address: Windsor, Buckingham.
ASQUITH, Herbert Henry, an Englishman who helped run things in his
country before 1908, and who ran things after 1908. Was also a favorite
rallying point for suffragettes. Led a successful wing-dipping
expedition against some of his countrymen who held titles to names
and property. Also juggled dynamite in Parliament (see Lloyd-George).
Ambition: Women without ambitions. Recreation: Dodging, golf.
Address: Constantly in danger of a change. Clubs: Favored Radical.
ATKINS, Thomas, celebrated red-coat-wearing dandy who flirts with
nurses and cooks, spends his time boasting about South Africa and the
U. S. A., posing for motion pictures, and exhibiting royalty. Authorities
differ as to his marksmanship, although it is now conceded he can often
hit a man-sized target at the distance of 4 feet 3 inches. Weather,
however, must be clear. Is an authority on creases, backbone, accent,
and tea. Beverage: Everything. Recreation: Jacks, collecting stamps,
Kipling, blindman's-buff, parlor tricks, May-pole festivities. Ambition:
Tortoise-shell monocles, camp manacurists, pocket bath-tubs, and
restoration of the tea canteen. Epitaph: See Emperor William.
ATLAS, a man who held up the heavens and was not even a preacher.
Edited a huge book which bears his name.
AURELIUS, Marcus, one of the few Romans who is not remembered
for crossing a river, for being murdered, for murdering somebody, for
making speeches, or building triumphant arches or ruins.

B
BABY, T. H. E., an unscrupulous tyrant, s. father and mother. His first
appearance caused heaven at home, and an idiotic father. Education: At
home. Career: A series of adventures. Was frequently ill, a poor sleeper,
toy demolisher, throat exerciser, nurse distractor, and a general
nuisance. Despite his shortcomings he ruled Home with an iron hand--a
tear caused a doctor-- a smile meant a gold mine. Diet: Principally
liquid. Ambition: The moon. Recreation: Coaching, hair pulling, a
proud father. Address: See Mother.
BACCHUS, patron saint of most men, benefactor, a jolly good fellow,
and the founder of the "morning after" feeling. Studied vine raising
when a young man. Discovered that grapes were not intended for a
food. Invented the greatest pleasure and pain giver the world has ever

seen. Became a traveler. Introduced ale and stout in England, whiskey
in Scotland, everything in Ireland, cocktails and patent medicines in the
United States, beer in Germany, champagne in France, absinthe in
France, and vodka in Russia. Career: Magnificent. Recreation: Paris.
Address: Greece. Clubs: All, except W. C. T. U. Epitaph: He Will Live
In The Throats Of His Countrymen.
BACON, Francis, either wrote or did not write Shakespeare.
BAEDEKER, Karl, one of the most versatile men who ever lived.
Childhood and old age