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safe. When the
person you are talking with shifts to a more open posture, it signifies \
trust
and comfort. That person is, literally, opening up to you and what you h\
ave
to offer.
It takes courage to open up to the other person. If you go first, she, o\
r he,
will usually follow your move from closed to slightly more open. Open up\
in,
slow, gradual shifts of posture.

Mirroring
A variation of mirroring is discussed in the articles dealing with elici\
ting
values and using trance-words - that is verbal mirroring. But a better-k\
nown
variation of mirroring is physical mirroring. Actually, you've most prob\
ably
been doing it all your life without knowing it but once you know how to
harness the power of mirroring consciously - its like young Skywalker
recognising and harnessing the power of the Force:).
Notice how people that seem to be engaged in ann interesting conversatio\
n
- they are excited about what they themselves are saying, they are about\
to
say and what the other is saying, in other words, they have rapport - se\
em
to take the same poses, whether sitting or standing up. When sitting, ei\
ther
side by side or on opposites sides of the table - one leans forward and \
then
the other leans forward as well, one leans backward and then the other
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leans backward as well, they cross their hands in the same manner, tilt \
their
heads similarly, seem to be having similar side-activities (one playing\
with
his keychain, the other with her pen), etc etc. Are they directing thei\
r actions
consciously? No, all their energies and concentration is on the discussi\
on,
everything else happens subconsciously. But actually, they don't even ha\
ve
to be having a discussion, they may just both be thinking their own
thoughts… and still you can see mirroring going on - they make the sa\
me
movements almost the same time without seemingly without having any
perceivable interaction with the other person.
What is all this knowledge good for? Well, mirroring can be used as a to\
ol
for building rapport. Being similar or having someone similar in your vi\
cinity
creates a feeling of ease, comfort, being understood, protected (should\
there appear a threat of any sort, there's two of you now:) etc. So you\
can
use the power of mirroring to create these feelings in the one you are
mirroring, she'll subconsciously link all those feelings to you (after \
all, you
are the one mirroring her:) and rapport is going to develop between you\
without you having lifted a finger (unless she lifted a finger and you \
had to
mirror her:).
How, whom and from where should I mirror? Whom - that's easy, the girl
you want of course:) How - assuming the same posture, doing the same
movements with your hands, in all respects using your body in a similar
fashion to hers. More aspects of mirroring are:
following - doing the movements after she did
them. Note that although your mind screams
"This is stupid! I'm going to get caught! She
MUST see me doing the same movements! This
is ridiculous!", don't' listen to it, fight it, it is the
voice of the Dark Side!:) Why? Because they
NEVER NOTICE it! Instead, they feel more
comfortable and relaxed in connection with you,
and eventually (that's why you even bothered,
right?:) - more drawn to you.
l
pacing - doing the movements the same time
with her. Yes. Sounds impossible? Well it isn't.
Have you ever noticed how you sometimes
happened to do the same things at exactly the
same time with another person. Maybe yawn
and then have a laugh about it:)? Because you
thought it was accidental? Well it wasn't, you had
reached the second stage of mirroring:)
(Yawning is not a good example though, the last
thing you want is the girl yawning with you:). But
there's nothing magical all supernatural about
doing the movements at the same time, because
essentially the second phase is a stage of
transition between the first and the third. In
mirroring there's always a leader and a follower.
So far she has been leading you (because
you've been following her) but now you are
coming to the stage when YOU will be leading
her! And the inevitable stage between following
and leading is pacing - you are doing
movements simultaneously.l
leading - if you've done your mirroring right, have
followed and paced, then you are ready for a
revelation. You can lead! Try it. Cough. She
coughs. Scratch your elbow. Well maybe she'll
scratch her shoulder instead of her elbow, big
deal:) In addition to being a tool of building
rapport, you can lead her into doing some pretty
fun stuff. Do a movement with your hands
mimicking the parting of legs (this should be
associated with something you are talking about,
if it looks strange, she'll notice it and you don't
want her conscious attention on your
movements, keep her mind busy with what
you're talking about). Watch her legs part:) Have
fun:)l
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Another more advanced aspect, although controversial as to the
effectiveness of it, is mirroring her blinking her eyes and breathing. B\
eing
able to mirror her breathing and blinking her eyes is