Ultimate Ejaculation Mastery - Tantric Sex (2001) | Page 8

of
these causes rear their ugly head.

 The Urge To Cum
I want to hit the biggie right on the head at the outset here. When we get
turned on, something inside takes over and convinces us to just let go. That's
what I call the urge to cum. There always used to be a rationalization in my
head that seemed to make sense in the moment why I should blow my wad. I
usually regretted it latter.

It may sound like circular reasoning to say that the urge to cum is the reason
you cum too quick. We all have the urge to orgasm, right? Well, of course.
And for a microsecond I don't want to give you the idea that there's anything
wrong with it. The craving for pleasure is what life is about. Keep that up, for
God and Goddess's sake. But what kind of orgasm are we talking about
seeking here? Yours, a quickie, your lover's, or a full body multiple one? The
biological urge to cum circumvents your power of choice in the matter.

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As a result of over 30 years helping people change their behavior, I'm convinced
that few succeed at STOPPING something they don't want to do. The secret is
to replace what you don't want with something better that you do want.
Fortunately, the Ultimate Ecstatic Solution is something so much better that
once you develop the knack of inner orgasm from the exercises in this book,
you'll never want to go back and spray your seed outside.

 Overwhelming Excitement
This must have happened to all of us at least once if not frequently, as it did
with me. You're really attracted to that completely sexy thing who actually
wants to have sex with you. You're so turned on by the whole prospect that
before you know it, you cum in your shorts or, even worse, all over her skirt.
God, I hate remembering those embarrassing times and wouldn't mention it if I
wasn't confident this will soon be a thing of the past for you.

Being overwhelmingly excited is akin to being a red-blooded healthy male. The
younger a man is, the more excitable he tends to be. It's common that the first
few times young, inexperienced men have sex with a partner, they have trouble
controlling their response. Since we haven't been taught any other way, we
just blindly follow the natural flood surging inside us and soon our pants are
wet. So many of us just haven't learned that there is another way to deal with
the huge energy build-up. If you're patient and willing to wait a decade or
three, high excitability will mellow with age. If you'd like a solution sooner,
read on.

 Tension & Anxiety
The secret (can I trust you with it?) to ejaculatory mastery is relaxation. There
are so many things that can create tension and anxiety in the scary arena of
sex, I'm actually astounded how many men learn to pace themselves in the
sack. Here are just a few of the common stresses that can cause too-rapid
cuming...
 time pressure
 self-doubt

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 religious guilt, thinking sex is bad, dirty, or immoral
 fear of getting caught
 tiredness or sickness
 relationship stress
 worries about pregnancy or STDs (sexually transmitted diseases)
 performance anxiety (am I good enough to satisfy my partner?)
 trying not to cum.
Can you believe that last one? Thinking about not squirting can actually make
you more likely to blow too soon. Yes, amazing, but true.

 Conditioning To Go Fast
Sex therapists claim that climaxing quickly may begin during youth and then
become an unconscious, physically ingrained habit that persists later in life.
Haven't most of us grown up being afraid of getting discovered having sex?
Remember, many of our first sexual encounters were rushing it in the back
seat of our dad's Chevy or on the living room couch with the folks due back any
minute. We were so worried about getting caught in the act, that sex was often
hurried and unsatisfying.

And what about making it with our first true love - our hand? (For me, it's my
left for sure.) To limit our chances of being found out, masturbating for as
quick a release as possible was the norm.

Shama says "Men are programmed to believe that it's best not to be caught
masturbating for a myriad of reasons. This is often done in stealth and quickly
to obtain pleasure and release.