Ultimate Ejaculation Mastery - Tantric Sex (2001) | Page 9

It also tends to set up a certain habit of tension
in the body, where sexual matters are concerned, that becomes the pattern for
other sexual experiences later on. So first, men masturbate and cum quickly
in the shower or in their beds, hoping not to get caught. Then they make love
with their girlfriends in the back seat of the car or in their room, still hoping
not to get caught. And they carry this into the rest of their lives and marriages,
not knowing that there can be any other way."

I'm not even going to mention the conditioning of the circle jerk if you were so
fortunate as to have participated in that kind of evolved athletic event.

18

 Goal of Orgasm
We live in a world structured around goals, standards, and living up to
expectations. What's the media-driven performance standard for the ideal
macho male lover? You know women so well that you please any and all. You
play each one so well until they lose control and their desire overpowers them.
Until they go completely berserk with passion, you're the strong silent type.
Then, in a wild release proving that you're the best, you have a monstrous
orgasm simultaneously.

Face it, guys, the Big O (a strong explosive orgasm) is what our sexually
repressed and unevolved society measures us against. We're raised with the
belief that the purpose of making love is to release all that pent-up sexual
energy with the most intense orgasm possible. Often we get trapped in our
partner's similar belief driven by long periods of being unsatisfied sexually. As
wonderful as that experience is, you might be surprised to learn how important
many other things are (cuddling, caring, sensitivity) to the average woman. I
read a study recently that quoted 70% of women would choose intimacy over
sex.

We're programmed to rush headlong toward orgasm as fast as we can go. In
our haste, we miss so many sensations and experiences along the way. The
Western view of sex is a race to the climax after which lovers physically
collapse. The Ultimate Ecstatic Solution is closer to the Eastern view of
physical love which slowly brings both partners to higher and higher heights of
ecstasy time and time again. That's what we're aiming to master with Tantra.

 The Mind
Without a doubt, the mind is a powerful sex organ. My beloved friend and
popular Tantra teacher in San Diego, Dr. Anastas Harris, teaches that "where
attention goes, energy flows." Focus on pleasure and your experience becomes
more intense. Think about not cuming and you will do it anyway.

19
We all attract what we focus on. For example, if your whole attention is on
your genitals, than your sexual energy has no where else to go but out that
little hole in your little head. If you're intent on the goal of giving your partner
an orgasm, then you're likely to attract one too soon - namely one of your own.
Case histories of psychological reasons for premature ejaculation abound.

This approach is the Ultimate Ecstatic Solution so that you learn to enjoy sex
even more while managing ejaculation. The mind's tricks - goals you're totally
absorbed in or pervading mental images - get in the way of you tuning into the
present moment. With these consuming internal distractions, how can you
truly appreciate what's happening now? Instead, you need to shift your
attention to your senses, your whole body, feelings and sensations - all the
sources of pleasure imaginable. Lots more about this later.

The essence of this Ultimate Ecstatic Solution is to get out of your head and
into your body. Relax and stay in the moment, tuning into those wonderful
feelings emanating from your sensitive places. Drop all your standards and
goals and just ride the wave of energy. Don't push yourself or your partner for
the Big O. When you learn to surf your sexual energy without attempting to
control the outcome, you'll be able to go with the flow in a loose and natural
way indefinitely.

 Separate Not Joint Experience
In our society, for the most part, sex is a private experience because it's a taboo
subject. We hide our insecurities, make rude jokes, and don't talk about it
openly. Too many of us obsess about when to make the first move, or how to
initiate with a long-time partner instead of joyously enjoying verbal foreplay.
No wonder so many of us build up the anxieties and tensions