The Unforseen Return | Page 7

glad to see us.
Roger: I'm not. This is most troublesome. All is lost. Now tell me--will he be kept at the custom house long?
Jeremy: No--he'll be here any minute.
Roger: In an minute? I think I'll go nuts.
Jeremy: But what the hell's the matter with you?
Roger: I don't know. Oh, the cursed old man. To return at such a bad time-- and not to forewarn us. What a treacherous bastard.
Jeremy: You must be up to something deep; this unexpected return hasn't upset your plans too much, has it?
Roger: Oh, no! They'll all mixed up--by all the devils in hell!
Jeremy: Too bad.
Roger: Jeremy, my poor, Jeremy, help me to arrange things, I beg you.
Jeremy: Me-- What do you want me to do?
Roger: Go--rest. Go in. You'll find good company--nothing to upset you. They'll make you drink Champagne.
Jeremy: Not hard to get me to do that.
Roger: Tell Mr. Edward that his father is back--but not to worry, I will wait for him here--and try to do all I can. I will sell myself to the devil if I know what! Tell him not to worry, and as for you, begin by getting drunk and go to bed.
Jeremy: I will obey your orders exactly, don't fret.
(Exit Jeremy into the house)
Roger: Come, Roger, pull yourself together my boy: courage! Here we have a violent father returning impromptu from a long trip; a son in the midst of an orgy; the house in disorder full of cooks and caterers in preparation for an impending wedding--and all we have to do is prevent this from being discovered. Ah, here comes the old man. Let's stand aside a little and think of a way to prevent him from entering his own house.
(Enter Mr. Richly)
Richly: Now after all my work and all the risks I've run-- See: by Heaven's grace, my voyage has a happy ending. I return to my dear old home and I believe my son will be very happy to see me back and in good health.
Roger: (aside) Not as happy as we would be to know you are well--but elsewhere.
Richly: Children owe a good deal to fathers who work tirelessly to leave them well off.
Roger: (aside) Yes; but not to those who return so inopportunely.
Richly: I don't wish to delay anymore entering home and giving my son the pleasure of knowing I'm safely returned. I believe the poor boy will die of joy to see me.
Roger: (aside) It wouldn't surprise me if he's already half dead just knowing you're here. But it's necessary to meet him.
(Aloud) What do I see? Just Heaven--am I awake--is it a ghost?
Richly: I believe if I am not deceived, that it's Roger.
Roger: Indeed, it is Mr. Richly himself--or else the devil in his shape. Seriously speaking, is it you, my dear master?
Richly: Yes, it's me, Roger. How've you been?
Roger: As you see, sir, very much at your service like a faithful servant, bright eyed and bushy-tailed--and always ready to obey you.
Richly: That's good news. Let's go in.
Roger: We weren't expecting you and I assure you, you have fallen on us from the clouds, as it were.
Richly: No, I came by carriage from Portsmouth where my ship happily arrived several days ago. But now--
Roger: How well you look! What a face! How stout! The air in Spain must do wonders for men of your age. You ought to stay there, sir--for your health--
(Low) and our safety.
Richly: And how is my son? Has he taken good care of the business? Is it profitable under his management?
Roger: Oh, as to that, why I tell you, he has done so well--you wouldn't believe how he's into money. Your business is in a state that would astonish you--my word on it.
Richly: You really make me happy, Roger, to give me such fine news. He's stored up a big pile of money, eh?
Roger: Not at all, sir.
Richly: Not at all? How's that!
Roger: No, I tell you this boy is the best manager you could wish. He follows your footsteps. He drives your money like a race horse. If he can make a buck he will work day and night.
Richly: That comes from setting kids a good example. I'm dying with impatience to hug him. Come along, Roger.
Roger: He's not inside, sir, and if you are in a hurry to see him, I suggest--
(Enter Mr. Andre)
Andre: Good day, Roger--
Roger: Your servant, Mr. Andre, your servant.
(Low) Here's a villainous loan shark who picks a fine time to come demand his money.
Andre: You know, Mr. Roger, I've been here everyday lately without finding your master. If he cannot pay me today, tomorrow I will swear out a warrant against him and you know it very well.
Roger: (aside) This will ruin us.
Richly: What's this all about?
Roger: I will explain everything to you when we are alone. Nothing to be concerned