The Thirteenth Chair | Page 3

felt that you were pretty slow with your
love-making--
WILLIAM. Oh, mother!
CROSBY (continuing).--and I knew darned well that if I interfered,

you'd take the girl out and marry her.
HELEN. Oh!
WILLIAM. You old schemer!
CROSBY (crossing over R.C. below MRS. CROSBY). I bet it would
have worked.
WILLIAM (as CROSBY crosses R. WILLIAM slaps him on the back).
It would. (Crosses behind HELEN to L.C.)
(The door down L. opens and EDWARD WALES enters.)
WALES. I came ahead of the others to tell you--
CROSBY. Why, Ned, old man, you came just in time to congratulate
them. (He points toward WILLIAM and HELEN.)
WALES. On what? (L.C.)
MRS. CROSBY. They're going to be married: isn't it fine?
WALES. Oh!
(There is a long pause.)
WILLIAM. You don't congratulate us, Mr. Wales.
WALES. No, Will, I don't. I'm not sure that I can. (Down stage a step.)
CROSBY. Why, Ned?
WILLIAM. I'm afraid that calls for an explanation.
WALES. Yes, I expect that it does.
(There is a long pause.)

WILLIAM. Well?
WALES. I'm sorry, but I can't explain anything until to-morrow.
MRS. CROSBY. But really, Mr. Wales, don't you think--
WALES. I think my action is almost indefensible. I'm admitting that.
But I have very good reasons for what I am doing. (He turns to
CROSBY.) Roscoe, I've been your close friend for a great many years.
You've trusted me and believed in me. I'm going to ask you to wait.
After all, twenty-four hours can't make any difference, and it may save
you all a great deal of unhappiness.
WILLIAM (coming to WALES a step). This is intolerable.
CROSBY. Ned, I can't understand--
WILLIAM. Father, this is my affair.
WALES. I'm sorry.
WILLIAM. Sorry? I should think you would be.
HELEN. Billy, I told you what would happen. Mr. Wales, I don't know
what you have discovered. But it's nothing of which I am ashamed,
nothing.
WILLIAM. Dear, you mustn't mind what he says.
HELEN (crossing in front of WILLIAM and moving a few steps
towards WALES). Oh, but I do, I can't bear it. Why, my mother is the
most wonderful woman in the world. I won't have her attacked. Do you
know what she did? When I was ten years old she sent me away from
her. I was the one thing she had in the world to love and she gave me
up because she thought--because she thought it was the best thing she
could do for me. I was sent to a fine school, then to college, and then
when I was nineteen, quite by accident, I found out that she wasn't dead,
as they'd always told me, and when I went to her all she said was,
"Well, my dear, I wanted to make a lady of you."

(Turns to WILLIAM C. He takes her in his arms, then HELEN moves
over to R. of him.)
MRS. CROSBY (in front of table R.). I think she succeeded, my dear.
WALES (L.C.). Miss O'Neill, I didn't even know that you had a
mother.
WILLIAM (C.). Then you'd better tell us now whatever your objection
is.
WALES. I can tell you nothing until to-morrow. (He turns to
WILLIAM.) Billy, I'd rather be shot than do what I'm doing. If I'm
wrong I'll come to you gladly and eat dirt. I'll beg this young lady's
pardon, on my knees if she likes. (Voices and laughter heard off L.)
Now that's all I'm going to say about it until then. (Moves up L.)
(The door L. opens. MARY EASTWOOD, HELEN TRENT,
ELIZABETH ERSKINE, GRACE STANDISH, HOWARD
STANDISH, PHILIP MASON and BRADDISH TRENT enter
laughing and talking.)
MISS EASTWOOD (at L.C. To crowd in doorway). And he said
whose wife?
(All laugh.)
WILLIAM (C. HELEN in front of table R.). Quiet, quiet, everybody.
I've got a surprise for you.
(From the people at the door come laughter and buzz of conversation.)
Nellie and I are going to be married.
(Girls rush C. and congratulate HELEN. Men and WILLIAM L.C.
Business ad lib., congratulating him.)
MISS EASTWOOD (coming to WILLIAM C.). If you hadn't been
engaged to her, she could have you arrested for the way you made eyes

at her at dinner, Billy. But of course, if people will marry--why--(She
turns away R.) I hope you will be awfully happy. (Crosses to MR. and
MRS. CROSBY down R.)
MISS ERSKINE (coming to WILLIAM). Isn't it beautiful? (Moves up
to L. of chesterfield sofa.)
MRS. TRENT (crossing to WILLIAM and kissing him). I'm glad, Billy,
glad.
(Moves over to STANDISH, who is down L. with TRENT. MISS
STANDISH moves to front of table R.)
(WILLIAM and HELEN look around--see that no one is paying
attention to them--WILLIAM sneaks up to door R.C., opens it and he
and HELEN exit quickly. MRS. CROSBY,