The Thirteenth Chair | Page 4

MR. CROSBY and MISS
EASTWOOD are in front of the table R.C. TRENT, STANDISH, MRS.
TRENT, MASON talking together over L. WALES up L. Conversation
ad lib. until MISS EASTWOOD speaks.)
MISS EASTWOOD (to MRS. CROSBY). Marriage is such an awful
gamble. I know a girl who tried it four times. Billy, I do hope you--
(Turning to C., where WILLIAM was standing.) Why, they are gone!
(Laughter and buzz of conversation ad lib.)
(Miss EASTWOOD runs up to door R.C., opens it--looks in
dining-room--gives a scream--closes door quickly, comes to right end
of chesterfield. TRENT goes to console table L. of chesterfield, gets
cigarette, lights it, and crosses to C. back of chesterfield in front of
fireplace. STANDISH and MRS. TRENT move to table L. of
chesterfield. WALES and MISS ERSKINE sit on chesterfield facing
audience up C. MRS. CROSBY is still at upper end of table R.
CROSBY talks with MISS EASTWOOD. MASON is the L. end of the
chesterfield facing the audience.)
(Enter BUTLER from down L.)

BUTLER. Mrs. Crosby, the person you sent the car for has arrived.
(All turn eagerly toward him.)
WALES (rises and moves down L.C.). Can we see her now, Mrs.
Crosby?
MRS. CROSBY. Certainly--Pollock, ask Madame la Grange if she will
come in, please.
BUTLER. Yes, madame.
(He exits and closes the door after him.)
MISS EASTWOOD (coming down between the large table and the
chesterfield). I'm perfectly thrilled. Do you suppose she expects to be
taken seriously?
MISS ERSKINE. Of course.
MISS EASTWOOD (at table R.). How funny! If you don't laugh at her,
we can have no end of fun. I'll guy her terribly and she'll never know it.
MRS. CROSBY (at table R.). Oh, I wouldn't do that, Mary. She may
be quite in earnest.
MISS EASTWOOD. Oh, I can't believe that. Madame la Grange! I can
see her now. Tall, black-haired creature, regular adventuress, see if she
isn't. Isn't she, Mr. Wales?
WALES (in front of chesterfield). She's the most remarkable woman I
have ever known.
(Enter BUTLER from door L., coming well on stage).
BUTLER. Madame la Grange.
(Enter MADAME ROSALIE LA GRANGE. She is a woman of about
fifty. She speaks with a marked French accent.)

ROSALIE. Good evening everybody. (The men all rise.)
MRS. CROSBY. How do you do, Madame la Grange?
ROSALIE. I am well, I thank you, madame.
MRS. CROSBY. Do come in.
ROSALIE. Thank you, madame. (She sees WALES L.C., and goes to
him.) Good evening, Mister Wales. It was kind of you to send the
motor-car for me.
WALES. We wanted you to be comfortable.
ROSALIE. And I was. (She laughs and turns to MRS. CROSBY R.C.)
Do you know, madame, when the gentleman in uniform come for me, I
thought at first it was a policeman.
MRS. CROSBY. I hope you weren't frightened.
(The positions now are: ROSALIE C., CROSBY R. end of chesterfield
C. MRS. TRENT and STANDISH have moved down L. TRENT comes
to L. of arm-chair. Miss ERSKINE seated on chesterfield up C. MRS.
CROSBY at table R. WALES L.C. and MASON L.C.)
ROSALIE. Oh, no, madame. I should like to see the policeman that
could frighten me. They are nice boys, the policemen.
MISS EASTWOOD (on the R. side of ROSALIE). Mr. Wales tells us
you are wonderful.
ROSALIE. All women are.
MISS EASTWOOD (with a meaning glance at the others). So you tell
fortunes?
ROSALIE. No, mademoiselle, I do not. I get messages from those of us
that 'ave passed on. I do not 'old at all with the cards nor tea-leaves nor
any of those tricks.

(All laugh--MISS EASTWOOD loudest.)
Once in a while I give advice. (She turns to MISS EASTWOOD.) If I
was you, mademoiselle, I would not meet Jimmy at the Ritz at three
o'clock to-morrow.
(All laugh. MISS STANDISH crosses to chesterfield C. and sits. Miss
ERSKINE rises and crosses to table R. and sits in arm-chair upper end.
MASON moves up and sits on up stage chesterfield. TRENT goes to L.
end of chesterfield. MISS EASTWOOD is in front of table R.
ROSALIE goes to WALES L.C. CROSBY seats MRS. CROSBY
down stage end of table R., then crosses back of MISS ERSKINE to
upper end of table.)
Well, sir, and how are you?
WALES. We're expecting great things from you to-night, Madame la
Grange.
ROSALIE. Bien! I hope you will not be disappointed.
CROSBY (above table R., coming C. a step). I suppose there are a lot
of tricks that--
ROSALIE (interrupting him). I suppose mine is the only trade in the
world in which there are tricks, eh, monsieur?
MISS EASTWOOD (coming to ROSALIE C.). Why shouldn't I meet
Jimmy at the Ritz to-morrow?
ROSALIE. If you do, something awful may 'appen to 'im.
MISS EASTWOOD. What?
ROSALIE. If