The Mule-Bone | Page 4

B-I-T-sweetie? I thought y'all was 'bout to git married. Everywhere I looked dis summer 'twas you and Dave, Bootsie and Jim. I thought all of y'all would've done jumped over de broomstick by now.
TEET: (Flourishing letter) Don't tell it to me ... tell it to the ever-loving Mr. Albert Johnson way over in Apopka.
BOOTSIE: (Rolling her eyes) Oh, tell 'em 'bout the ever-loving Mr. Jimmy Cox from Altamont. Oh, I can't stand to see my baby lose.
HAMBO: It's lucky y'all girls done got some more fellers, cause look like Daisy done treed both Jim and Dave at once, or they done treed here one.
TEET: Let her have 'em ... nobody don't keer. They don't handle de "In God we trust" lak my Johnson. He's head bellman at de hotel.
BOOTSIE: Mr. Cox got money's grandma and old grandpa change. (The girls exit huffily.)
LINDSAY: (To HAMBO, pseudo-seriously) You oughtn't tease dem gals lak dat.
HAMBO: Oh, I laks to see gals all mad. But dem boys is crazy sho nuff. Before Daisy come back here they both had a good-looking gal a piece. Now they 'bout to fall out and fight over half a gal a piece. Neither one won't give over and let de other one have her.
LIGE: And she ain't thinking too much 'bout no one man. (Looks off left.) Here she come now. God! She got a mean walk on her!
WALTER: Yeah, man. She handles a lot of traffic! Oh, mama, throw it in de river ... papa'll come git it!
LINDSAY: Aw, shut up, you married men!
LIGE: Man don't go blind cause he gits married, do he? (Enter DAISY hurriedly. Stops at step a moment. She is dressed in sheer organdie, white shoes and stockings.)
DAISY: Good evening, everybody. (Walks up on the porch.)
ALL THE MEN: (Very pleasantly) Good evening, Miss Daisy.
DAISY: (To CLARK) Mama sent me after some meal and flour and some bacon and sausage oil.
CLARK: Senator been here long time ago hunting you.
DAISY: (Frightened) Did he? Oo ... Mist' Clark, hurry up and fix it for me. (She starts on in the store.)
LINDSAY: (Giving her his seat) You better wait here, Daisy.
(WALTER kicks LIGE to call his attention to LINDSAY'S attitude)
It's powerful hot in dat store. Lemme run fetch 'em out to you.
LIGE: (To LINDSAY) Run! Joe Lindsay, you ain't been able to run since de big bell rung. Look at dat gray beard.
LINDSAY: Thank God, I ain't gray all over. I'm just as good a man right now as any of you young 'uns. (He hurries on into the store.)
WALTER: Daisy, where's yo' two body guards? It don't look natural to see you thout nary one of 'em.
DAISY: (Archly) I ain't got no body guards. I don't know what you talkin' about.
LIGE: Aw, don' try to come dat over us, Daisy. You know who we talkin' 'bout all right ... but if you want me to come out flat footed ... where's Jim and Dave?
DAISY: Ain't they playin' somewhere for de white folks?
LIGE: (To WALTER) Will you listen at dis gal, Walter? (To DAISY) When I ain't been long seen you and Dave going down to de Lake.
DAISY: (Frightened) Don't y'all run tell mama where I been.
WALTER: Well, you tell us which one you laks de best and we'll wipe our mouf (Gesture) and say nothin'. Dem boys been de best of friends all they life, till both of 'em took after you ... then good-bye, Katy bar de door!
DAISY: (Affected innocence) Ain't they still playin' and dancin' together?
LIGE: Yeah, but that's 'bout all they do 'gree on these days. That's de way it is wid men, young and old.... I don't keer how long they been friends and how thick they been ... a woman kin come between 'em. David and Jonather never would have been friends so long if Jonather had of been any great hand wid de wimmen. You ain't never seen no two roosters that likes one another.
DAISY: I ain't tried to break 'em up.
WALTER: Course you ain't. You don't have to. All two boys need to do is to git stuck on de same girl and they done broke up ... right now! Wimmen is something can't be divided equal.
(Re-enter JOE LINDSAY and CLARK with the groceries. DAISY jumps up and grabs the packages.)
LIGE: (To DAISY) Want some of us ... me ... to go long and tote yo' things for you?
DAISY: (Nervously) Naw, mama is riding her high horse today. Long as I been gone it wouldn't do for me to come walking up wid nobody. (She exits hurriedly right.)
(All the men watch her out of sight in silence.)
CLARK: (Sighing) I God, know whut Daisy puts me in de mind of?
HAMBO: No, what? (They all lean together.)
CLARK: I God, a great big mango ... a sweet smell, you know, Th a