The Mule-Bone | Page 3

y'all know dat hock-bone?
WALTER: How you reckon we gointer know every hock-bone in Orange County sight unseen?
JOE: (Standing the bone up on the floor of the porch) Dis is a hock-bone of Brazzle's ole yaller mule.
(General pleased interest. Everybody wants to touch it.)
BRAZZLE: (Coming forward) Well, sir! (Takes bone in both hands and looks up and down the length of it) If 'tain't my ole mule! This sho was one hell of a mule, too. He'd fight every inch in front of de plow ... he'd turn over de mowing machine ... run away wid de wagon ... and you better not look like you wanter ride 'im!
LINDSAY: (Laughing) Yeah, I 'member seein' you comin' down de road just so ... (He limps wid one hand on his buttocks) one day.
BRAZZLE: Dis mule was so evil he used to try to bite and kick when I'd go in de stable to feed 'im.
WALTER: He was too mean to git fat. He was so skinny you could do a week's washing on his ribs for a washboard and hang 'em up on his hip-bones to dry.
LIGE: I 'member one day, Brazzle, you sent yo' boy to Winter Park after some groceries wid a basket. So here he went down de road ridin' dis mule wid dis basket on his arm.... Whut you reckon dat ole contrary mule done when he got to dat crooked place in de road going round Park Lake? He turnt right round and went through de handle of dat basket ... wid de boy still up on his back. (General laughter)
BRAZZLE: Yeah, he up and died one Sat'day just for spite ... but he was too contrary to lay down on his side like a mule orter and die decent. Naw, he made out to lay down on his narrer contracted back and die wid his feets sticking straight up in de air just so. (He gets down on his back and illustrates.) We drug him out to de swamp wid 'im dat way, didn't we, Hambo?
JOE CLARK: I God, Brazzle, we all seen it. Didn't we all go to de draggin' out? More folks went to yo' mule's draggin' out than went to last school closing.... Bet there ain't been a thing right in mule-hell for four years.
HAMBO: Been dat long since he been dead?
CLARK: I God, yes. He died de week after I started to cutting' dat new ground.
(The bone is passing from hand to hand. At last a boy about twelve takes it. He has just walked up and is proudly handling the bone when a woman's voice is heard off stage right.)
VOICE: Senator! Senator!! Oh, you Senator?
BOY: (Turning displeased mutters) Aw, shux. (Loudly) Ma'm?
VOICE: If you don't come here you better!
SENATOR: Yes ma'am. (He drops bone on ground down stage and trots off frowning.) Soon as we men git to doing something dese wimmen.... (Exits, right.)
(Enter TEET and BOOTSIE left, clean and primped in voile dresses just alike. They speak diffidently and enter store. The men admire them casually.)
LIGE: Them girls done turned out to be right good-looking.
WALTER: Teet ain't as pretty now as she was a few years back. She used to be fat as a butter ball wid legs just like two whiskey-kegs. She's too skinny since she got her growth.
CODY: Ain't none of 'em pretty as dat Miss Daisy. God! She's pretty as a speckled pup.
LIGE: But she was sho nuff ugly when she was little ... little ole hard black knot. She sho has changed since she been away up North. If she ain't pretty now, there ain't a hound dog in Georgy.
(Re-enter SENATOR BAILEY and stops on the steps. He addresses JOE CLARK.)
SENATOR: Mist' Clark....
HAMBO: (To Senator) Ain't you got no manners? We all didn't sleep wid you last night.
SENATOR: (Embarrassed) Good evening, everybody.
ALL THE MEN: Good evening, son, boy, Senator, etc.
SENATOR: Mist' Clark, mama said is Daisy been here dis evenin'?
JOE CLARK: Ain't laid my eyes on her. Ain't she working over in Maitland?
SENATOR: Yessuh ... but she's off today and mama sent her down here to get de groceries.
JOE CLARK: Well, tell yo' ma I ain't seen her.
SENATOR: Well, she say to tell you when she come, to tell her ma say she better git home and dat quick.
JOE CLARK: I will. (Exit BOY right.)
LIGE: Bet she's off somewhere wid Dave or Jim.
WALTER: I don't bet it ... I know it. She's got them two in de go-long.
(Re-enter TEET and BOOTSIE from store. TEET has a letter and BOOTSIE two or three small parcels. The men look up with interest as they come out on the porch.)
WALTER: (Winking) Whut's dat you got, Teet ... letter from Dave?
TEET: (Flouncing) Naw indeed! It's a letter from my B-I-T-sweetie! (Rolls her eyes and hips.)
WALTER: (Winking) Well, ain't Dave yo'