The Mind the Paint Girl | Page 7

delicate looking man of eight-and-thirty, not over smartly
dressed, wearing an eye-glass-- nodding to LILY casually.] You needn't
have cut me, almost on your door-step. [To JIMMIE and JEYES.] H'lo,
Jimmie! H'lo, Nicko!
GLADYS.
[Viewing LILY with an elevation of the brows.] Oh, are you home?
LILY.
[Returning GLADYS'S stare.] Apparently.
GLADYS.
I'll whistle up to Maud.
LILY.
Don't, if it's too severe a strain on you.
MRS. UPJOHN.
[To GLADYS, as the girl moves to the door.] Gladys, we'll 'ave tea.
GLADYS.

[At the door.] You can't till it's ready.
LILY.
[Calmly.] Cheek!
[GLADYS retires.
BLAND.
[Who has strolled across to LILY, indolently.] Why do you retain the
services of that tousled-headed hussy?
LILY.
[With conviction.] Oh, she's a little under the weather, but she's a
perfect servant.
BLAND.
[To MRS. UPJOHN.] Ma, you look blooming.
MRS. UPJOHN.
Wish I could return the compliment, Mr. Bland.
BLAND.
[To ROPER, who is wearing a waistcoat of rather a pronounced
pattern.] Congratulations on your waistcoat, Lal.
ROPER.
[Joining JIMMIE, annoyed.] Now, no personalities.
LILY.
[Giving BLAND her hand.] Vincent, yours is one of the loveliest
presents I've had to-day. Remerciement! How's that for a French

accent?
BLAND.
[Dropping his eyeglass.] You cat!
LILY.
Why----?
BLAND.
You know I've given you nothing, not even a penny nosegay.
JIMMIE.
Ha, ha, ha!
LILY.
[Raising herself on her elbow.] On my honour--! Vincent dear, I swear
I thought----!
BLAND.
The funds are too low. [Replacing his eyeglass.] I did go so far as to
price a bangle at Sellby's, but that was before a certain event yesterday.
JIMMIE.
What horses did you back, Vincent? I won a fiver, through Jerry
Grimwood.
ROPER.
[To BLAND.] You are a patent ass. Why don't you leave betting alone?
BLAND.

[To ROPER, flaring up.] Why don't you leave your City muck alone?
LILY.
[Putting her feet to the floor, imperiously.] That'll do. Be quiet, you two!
I won't have any wrangling in my house. Run away and play, all of you.
I want to speak to Vincent for a minute privately. [With a gesture.]
Uncle Lal-- Jimmie-- Nicko-- [To MRS. UPJOHN.] Scoot, mother!
MRS. UPJOHN.
Oh, dear, wot a child!
[ROPER, JIMMIE, JEYES, and MRS. UPJOHN move away and LILY
beckons to BLAND.
LILY.
Vin.
BLAND.
[Close to her, with a wry face.] Mercy!
LILY.
[In a low voice.] You've broken your word to me, then? [Through her
teeth.] Those damned horses!
BLAND.
Cooling had a tip from the stable----
LILY.
Cooling! Morrie Cooling has no children; only a fat wife. You've a
darling little wife and three kiddies. How much did you drop
yesterday?

BLAND.
Shan't say.
LILY.
[Rising and touching his arm.] Oh, Vincent!
[She looks round, to assure herself that she is unobserved. MRS.
UPJOHN and ROPER are seated at the tea-table with their heads
together, talking; JIMMIE is at the piano, fingering out a piece of
music; JEYES is half hidden in the arm-chair facing the settee at the
back. LILY tiptoes to the writing-table and seats herself there as
GLADYS reappears showing in the BARON VON RETTENMAYER.
VON RETTENMAYER.
[A tall, fair young man of three-and-thirty, speaking in thick, guttural
tones-- advancing to LILY.] Aha, goddess! [Gladys withdraws.] Many
habby returns of the day!
LILY.
H'sh! I'm busy for a moment, Baron.
VON RETTENMAYER.
[To LILY-- shaking hands with BLAND.] A thousand bardons.
LILY.
Talk to mother and Jimmie.
VON RETTENMAYER.
With bleasure. [Going to MRS. UPJOHN and ROPER and shaking
hands with them.] How are you, my dear Ma? How are you, Jimmie?
[Waving a hand to ROPER and JEYES.] My dear Rober! My dear
Neegolas!

JIMMIE.
[To VON RETTENMAYER, mimicking him.] Rober! Neegolas! Why
don't they provide you with throat lozenges at the Embassy, Baron?
[VON RETTENMAYER laughs. LILY has quickly opened a drawer in
the writing-table and produced a cheque-book. After another glance
over her shoulder, she sweeps the presents aside and writes. Then she
replaces the cheque-book, rises, and returns to BLAND. Again there is
a loud guffaw from VON RETTENMAYER in response to some sally of
JIMMIE'S.
LILY.
[To BLAND, folding a cheque and slipping it into his hand.] Promise--
promise you won't make another bet.
BLAND.
[Unfolding the cheque.] Your cheque?
LILY.
[Hastily.] Put it in your pocket.
BLAND.
A blank one.
LILY.
[In a whisper.] Don't fill it in for more than you can help. I'm not over
flush.
[He deliberately tears the cheque into four pieces and, looking at her
steadily, puts them into his waistcoat-pocket.
BLAND.

[As he does so.] I'll keep those, Lil, for as long as I keep anything.
LILY.
[Hotly.] You fool, Vincent!
BLAND.
My dear, as if----!
LILY.
Such ridiculous pride! [Stamping her foot.] Lord, what I owe to you!
[GLADYS enters with SAM DE CASTRO. GLADYS is carrying a
lace-edged table-cloth which, assisted by MRS.