The Mind the Paint Girl | Page 6

to you 'erself when you brought
'er 'ome last night.
JEYES.
Mention what?
MRS. UPJOHN.
They're givin' 'er a supper to-night at the theatre.
JEYES.
The theatre?
ROPER.
[Advancing.] Yes, Carlton's standing a little spread in the foyer, in
honour of the occasion. [Sitting at the tea-table.] Quite right too; she's
his best asset, and chance it.
JEYES.
When was it fixed up?
ROPER.
Late last night.
JEYES.
The fact is, Lily and I had a slight tiff coming home last night. [Sitting
on the settee in front of the writing-table.] Ha! I suppose she kept it

from me to pay me out. [Sharply.] Who's invited?
ROPER.
Er-- only the principal members of the Company, I understand.
MRS. UPJOHN.
[Moistening her lips with her tongue.] Yes, only the members of the
Company, Lil says.
ROPER.
With Morrie Cooling and Vincent Bland thrown in.
JEYES.
[Looking at ROPER.] You seem to know a lot about it, Roper.
ROPER.
I was behind when Morrie was going round to the dressing-rooms.
JEYES.
[To ROPER, suspiciously.] Are you asked?
ROPER.
[Taken aback.] E--eh?
JEYES.
Are you asked?
ROPER.
[With an attempt at airiness.] Oh, yes, they've dragged me into it.
JEYES.

Since when have you been a member of the Company?
ROPER.
No, but-- dash it, I've done business for Carlton in the City for twenty
years or more----!
JEYES.
That doesn't make you one.
ROPER.
And I'm an old friend of Lil's.
JEYES.
Not older than I. [Violently.] Why the blazes doesn't Smythe invite me?
ROPER.
[Extending his arms.] My dear Nicko, I'm not giving the party. Really,
you do jump down a man's throat----!
JEYES.
Sorry, sorry, sorry. [Leaning back and thrusting his hands into his
pocket.] Well, I'll put Jack and the Linthornes off. They don't want to
sup with me; I shouldn't amuse 'em. [Gazing at the carpet.] Her
birthday, though! It'll be the first time I shall have been out of that for--
how many years?-- six years. I---- [Raising his head, he detects MRS.
UPJOHN and ROPER eyeing each other uncomfortably.] Anything the
matter?
ROPER.
T-t-the matter?
JEYES.

[Taking his hands from his pockets and sitting upright.] Any game on?
MRS. UPJOHN.
Game?
JEYES.
At my expense?
MRS. UPJOHN.
I dun'no wot you're drivin' at, Captain.
JEYES.
[Harshly.] How long's Lily sitting this afternoon?
MRS. UPJOHN.
Till five.
JEYES.
[Looking at his watch.] What's Morgan's number in Fitzroy Street?
MRS. UPJOHN.
Sixty.
JEYES.
[Rising.] I'll fetch her.
[As he makes a movement towards the door, it is thrown open and LILY
PARRADELL enters with a rush-- an entrancing vision of youth, grace,
and beauty. She is followed by JIMMIE BIRCH, a petite, bright-eyed
girl in an extremely chic costume.

LILY.
[Tearing off her gloves as she enters.] Wh-e-e-w! I'm dead! [Giving her
hand to JEYES carelessly.] Ah, Nicko! [To MRS. UPJOHN.] I couldn't
stand the heat in the studio any longer, mother. [Finding ROPER beside
her, she offers her cheek to him and he kisses it.] Mon Oncle!
JIMMIE.
[Closing the door.] That young man Morgan ought to paint the infernal
regions.
LILY.
[Taking her scarf from her shoulder.] He might finish with the angels
first, though. [To JEYES, softly, as ROPER turns to shake hands with
JIMMIE.] You in a better temper to-day?
JEYES.
[In her ear.] You drove me wild last night.
LILY.
[Making a face at him.] Served you right. [Passing him.] For God's
sake, let me lie down. [She throws herself upon the settee in front of the
writing-table, and JEYES moves away as MRS. UPJOHN and ROPER
go to her.] Don't come near me. Give me my fan. Jimmie, where's my
fan?
JIMMIE.
Oh, I've left it in Fitzroy Street!
LILY.
Beast!
MRS. UPJOHN.

[Hurrying to the writing-table.] There's one 'ere, among your presents.
LILY.
[Unpinning her hat.] Uncle Lal, what an adorable ring that is you've
sent me!
ROPER.
[Taking the fan from MRS. UPJOHN.] Ring! A brooch!
LILY.
Somebody's sent me a ring.
MRS. UPJOHN.
[Sitting in the chair at the end of the settee by the writing-table.]
There's three rings.
LILY.
Of course! One of them's from Nicko! [To JEYES.] Did you get my
sweet telegram, Nicko?
JEYES.
[Who has greeted JIMMIE and is now seated in the chair on the
extreme left-- sulkily.] I had your telegram, but it's a pendant I sent you.
JIMMIE.
[Sitting upon the settee by the piano and pulling off her gloves.] Ha, ha,
ha!
LILY.
You shut up, Jimmie. [Snatching the fan from ROPER.] How on earth
am I to remember! [Fanning herself.] Who's given me this pretty thing?

MRS. UPJOHN.
Mr. Monty Levine.
LILY.
Bless him! He's a dear little man, though he does bite his nails.
[GLADYS appears with VINCENT BLAND, who saunters in after her.
Seeing LILY, GLADYS advances to her.] Hallo, Vincent!
BLAND.
[A thin,