The McNaughtens | Page 8

a little uncomfortable about deceiving my brother.
Spruce What an idle and ridiculous delicacy! Risk nothing, gain nothing. Maybe you ought to protect him. With this money, he could do some good--only you don't give him a good character.
Captain If I want this inheritance, it's only for the sake of Flavella, whom I adore.
Spruce Of course. And if you don't get it, he will have her! Can you bear thinking of him kissing her?
Captain Damnation!
Spruce But he was a fine brother, and you ought not to deceive him.
Captain He's a son of a bitch. He was always stealing my toys. That's it. I'll do it.
Spruce Good. That's the spirit.
Captain I'll tell you what. Flavella doesn't look on me with indifference. Her father knows nothing of it, and, by good luck, has never seen me, because I've never taken the first step to ask for her hand. If I had, all my hopes would have been dashed, I am sure of it. Still, one thing holds me back.
Spruce Good Heavens, what can it be?
Captain I've promised in writing to marry Urania.
Spruce Banish all thought of that engagement. If you were to marry all the women you've promised to marry, you would be a bigamist many times over. Now to work! You must dress like your brother. He's wearing mourning, a little frayed. His wig's a little different than yours, but you really don't need to change much. You must get into mourning, without wasting any time.
Captain But, Urania is waiting for me to dine with her!
Spruce You now have other work to do. Dine tomorrow! I believe I see your brother coming up that side street. I'm not mistaken. You must go quick-- Doubletime, Captain.
Captain But, tell me first--
Spruce I've nothing to say to you now, except go, quickly.
(Reluctantly, with a questioning expression, the Captain goes, hurried off by Spruce. After a moment, enter McNaughten dressed in mourning.)
Spruce Finally, you're here, sir. To keep my word I've been waiting for you by this hotel, but it's been a long time.
McNaughten Yes, indeed, here I am. I thought it was all my life was worth to get here. What a country--what a Hell! I made a thousand false turns. I've never run so many risks in my life. One cannot take a step without falling in some trap. Everywhere some pickpocket hemmed me in. A carriage covered me with mud. What noise, what confusion. I believe that in this city, the Devil has finally settled on his abode.
Spruce Oh, London is a tumultuous, noisy place.
McNaughten Really! I'd much prefer to be at a Black Sabbath. A woods full of robbers is a hundred times more secure. My trunk was taken by someone else. I've lost fifteen pounds--and some love letters, too.
Spruce You have to be on your guard around here.
McNaughten I believe it, indeed. This loss will make me more alert and exact. Happily, I kept most of my money in my belt.
Spruce Did you so? How clever of you. (picking his pocket) I've had a bed prepared for you in a nice quiet room, in the back, away from the street. Do you plan to stay in this town long?
McNaughten The less, the better. I can see nothing to like about it. I'm only here to get married.
Spruce You usually can't do that business in a single day.
McNaughten I'm also here to collect an inheritance of sixty thousand pounds. I inherited it from an uncle that I had once, but no longer do--by a singular grace of God.
Spruce And is it all for you, sir?
McNaughten Precisely. War took off my brother--opportunely. He was only twenty-- in the flower of his youth. He took a quick trip to the promised land, and has never returned. God's grace knows no bounds.
Spruce Heaven give him peace, and give you success in all your plans. If you have need of my little services, you can employ me, sir, in any way you please. I know London very well, and I am always willing to serve my friends devotedly.
McNaughten Can you tell me how to find a man named George Hastings?
Spruce Hastings?
McNaughten Exactly, that's his name.
Spruce Is there a man in London who knows better than I how to get to his house? We'll go together. Have you some business with him?
McNaughten Yes, I do. By chance, might you also know where a solicitor named Torrington lives?
Spruce Ah, indeed, I know him. You couldn't have done better than ask me-- he's a particular friend of mine. We'll go to him, too. (Aside) But, I see Jenny coming. Good God, I hope she doesn't ruin all my good work.
(Enter Jenny)
Jenny What the Devil are you two doing--are you tied to a stake? Dinner's getting cold, my mistress is annoyed. Ah, there you are, sir. Truly, I am delighted.
McNaughten