The McNaughtens | Page 9

What for?
Jenny I'm sent to see what prevents you from coming. My lady cannot understand the reason. But, what is this, sir, why the mourning outfit and the lugubrious reception? You act as if you didn't know me?
McNaughten Miss--
Jenny Why have you gone into mourning so suddenly? Do you think this is the way to dress for a dinner party? Are you coming from a funeral, sir?
McNaughten What's it to you? I'll dress as I please. (Low to Spruce) The girls around here are well equipped with effrontery and curiosity.
Spruce It's the custom of the town. They're always friendly with people they've never met. Beware a trap.
Jenny My concern in this matter is natural enough. Whatever happens to you interests me. My lady has an extreme tenderness for you, and I must imitate her.
McNaughten Quite unnecessary.
Jenny Sir!
McNaughten You pretend your mistress loves me, do you?
Jenny You pretend you don't know that?
McNaughten May I be hanged if I ever heard of it before this moment!
Jenny (puzzled) You've had several proofs already. And if you want more solid proof, you can bed her and marry her whenever you like.
McNaughten I can bed her?
Jenny Easily.
McNaughten And marry her?
Jenny Yes, indeed.
McNaughten Why would I want to do that?
Jenny You don't have any other object in view, do you?
McNaughten The proposition is very straightforward, on my word. (Aside to Spruce) On my oath, this wench is a procuress.
Spruce (protesting) I rather like her that way.
Jenny Before your return thousands came to offer for her hand, but McNaughten is the only one who ever earned her love.
McNaughten (astounded) How'd you know my name?
Jenny How do you know mine?
McNaughten How do I know YOUR name?
Jenny Exactly. Same way.
McNaughten I don't know it at all. Who the Devil are you, anyway?
Jenny What's the meaning of this joke? My name's Jenny, and I serve Urania. And I've seen you there more than a thousand times.
McNaughten You're her servant?
Jenny Now you've got it.
McNaughten My word! So much the worse for you. I know nothing about it. But, it's really a shame to think such a young girl is engaged in such a sinful school.
Jenny Quit joking. In one word, my lady is waiting dinner for you. To please you, she's invited her girl friend, who is pretty and very vivacious.
McNaughten Your mistress does very good work.
Jenny (to Spruce, giving up on McNaughten) You talk to me, then? Tell me, what vapor has deranged his mind in so short a time?
Spruce (aside to Jenny) For some time he's been subject to distractions--the effect of which you can see for yourself. Sometimes, he talks idly and without any sense. He often speaks wildly.
Jenny (to Spruce) Usually, he seems sensible enough. How can one lose one's memory and reason in such a short time? (To McNaughten) Do you intend to speak sensibly to me?
McNaughten My dear, I am reasonable enough. It's you who are drunk or crazy. Do you intend to bother me with your nonsensical stories for an hour? Who is this Urania who adores me? You talk of dinner, a pretty friend, and a hundred other things, each one more stupid than the other. And which I don't comprehend any more than I do Algebra or the Koran.
Jenny You have no intention of being reasonable or dining with us, as you promised?
McNaughten The answer is no. I give myself to the Devil--and your mistress, too, with her noble plans. Let other birds fall into her snares. And you, her emissary and honest agent, do you not know it's a villainous thing to be a bawd? Some evil will befall you. Pray God for forgiveness. Go --and sin no more. I warn you, quit this line of work. Be guided by my advice--it's for your own good.
Jenny Well! I never have been so insulted in my life. Dare to call me a bawd!
McNaughten Don't expect to catch me in your traps. I'm no country bumpkin.
Jenny We will see if you have the nerve to say such stupid things to my lady. Because, I am going to tell her everything you said, and, I won't omit one word. Be sure of it! (To Spruce) Goodbye, worthy valet of an unworthy master. I hope after a while we'll know each other better. (Aside) I don't understand any of it, and I hardly know where I am at!
(Exit Jenny)
McNaughten My God! What a town. What a strange place. They told me the London women were bold, and that to succeed in their secret practices, they inform themselves about newcomers with great care. But this is unbelievable.
Spruce She must have heard your name on the stage coach. She decided to make use of it when you got here, so that she could get something from you.
McNaughten Right. That's how she knew. But, I defy their plots!
Spruce