The Little Man | Page 6

GERMAN]
is a man of blood and iron, but give him an opportunity to be
magnanimous, and he'll be right there. Oh, sir! yep!
[The GERMAN, with a profound mixture of pleasure and cynicism,
brushes up the ends of his moustache.]
LITTLE MAN. I wonder. One wants to, but somehow--[He shakes his
head.]
AMERICAN. You seem kind of skeery about that. You've had
experience, maybe. I'm an optimist--I think we're bound to make the
devil hum in the near future. I opine we shall occasion a good deal of
trouble to that old party. There's about to be a holocaust of selfish
interests. The colonel there with old-man Nietch he won't know himself.
There's going to be a very sacred opportunity.
[As he speaks, the voice of a RAILWAY OFFICIAL is heard an the
distance calling out in German. It approaches, and the words become
audible.]
GERMAN. [Startled] 'Der Teufel'! [He gets up, and seizes the bag
beside him.]
[The STATION OFFICIAL has appeared; he stands for a moment
casting his commands at the seated group. The DUTCH YOUTH also
rises, and takes his coat and hat. The OFFICIAL turns on his heel and
retires still issuing directions.]

ENGLISHMAN. What does he say?
GERMAN. Our drain has come in, de oder platform; only one minute
we haf.
[All, have risen in a fluster.]
AMERICAN. Now, that's very provoking. I won't get that flash of beer.
[There is a general scurry to gather coats and hats and wraps, during
which the lowly WOMAN is seen making desperate attempts to deal
with her baby and the two large bundles. Quite defeated, she suddenly
puts all down, wrings her hands, and cries out: "Herr Jesu! Hilfe!" The
flying procession turn their heads at that strange cry.]
AMERICAN. What's that? Help?
[He continues to run. The LITTLE MAN spins round, rushes back,
picks up baby and bundle on which it was seated.]
LITTLE MAN. Come along, good woman, come along!
[The WOMAN picks up the other bundle and they run.]
[The WAITER, appearing in the doorway with the bottle of beer,
watches with his tired smile.]
CURTAIN

SCENE II
A second-class compartment of a corridor carriage, in motion. In it are
seated the ENGLISHMAN and his WIFE, opposite each other at the
corridor end, she with her face to the engine, he with his back. Both are
somewhat protected from the rest of the travellers by newspapers. Next
to her sits the GERMAN, and opposite him sits the AMERICAN; next
the AMERICAN in one window corner is seated the DUTCH YOUTH;

the other window corner is taken by the GERMAN'S bag. The silence
is only broken by the slight rushing noise of the train's progression and
the crackling of the English newspapers.
AMERICAN. [Turning to the DUTCH YOUTH] Guess I'd like that
window raised; it's kind of chilly after that old run they gave us.
[The DUTCH YOUTH laughs, and goes through the motions of raising
the window. The ENGLISH regard the operation with uneasy irritation.
The GERMAN opens his bag, which reposes on the corner seat next
him, and takes out a book.]
AMERICAN. The Germans are great readers. Very stimulating practice.
I read most anything myself!
[The GERMAN holds up the book so that the title may be read.]
"Don Quixote"--fine book. We Americans take considerable stock in
old man Quixote. Bit of a wild-cat--but we don't laugh at him.
GERMAN. He is dead. Dead as a sheep. A good thing, too.
AMERICAN. In America we have still quite an amount of chivalry.
GERMAN. Chivalry is nothing 'sentimentalisch'. In modern days--no
good. A man must push, he must pull.
AMERICAN. So you say. But I judge your form of chivalry is sacrifice
to the state. We allow more freedom to the individual soul. Where
there's something little and weak, we feel it kind of noble to give up to
it. That way we feel elevated.
[As he speaks there is seen in the corridor doorway the LITTLE MAN,
with the WOMAN'S BABY still on his arm and the bundle held in the
other hand. He peers in anxiously. The ENGLISH, acutely conscious,
try to dissociate themselves from his presence with their papers. The
DUTCH YOUTH laughs.]
GERMAN. 'Ach'! So!

AMERICAN. Dear me!
LITTLE MAN. Is there room? I can't find a seat.
AMERICAN. Why, yes! There's a seat for one.
LITTLE MAN. [Depositing bundle outside, and heaving BABY] May
I?
AMERICAN. Come right in!
[The GERMAN sulkily moves his bag. The LITTLE MAN comes in
and seats himself gingerly.]
AMERICAN. Where's the mother?
LITTLE MAN. [Ruefully] Afraid she got left behind.
[The DUTCH YOUTH laughs. The ENGLISH unconsciously emerge
from their newspapers.]
AMERICAN. My! That would appear to be quite a domestic incident.
[The ENGLISHMAN suddenly utters a profound "Ha, Ha!" and
disappears behind