The Innocents Abroad | Page 5

from the Dome--The Holy Inquisition--Interesting
Old Monkish Frauds--The Ruined Coliseum--The Coliseum in the
Days of its Prime-- Ancient Playbill of a Coliseum Performance--A
Roman Newspaper Criticism 1700 Years Old

CHAPTER XXVII.
"Butchered to Make a Roman Holiday"--The Man who Never
Complained-- An Exasperating Subject--Asinine Guides--The Roman
Catacombs The Saint Whose Fervor Burst his Ribs--The Miracle of the
Bleeding Heart --The Legend of Ara Coeli

CHAPTER XXVIII.
Picturesque Horrors--The Legend of Brother Thomas--Sorrow
Scientifically Analyzed--A Festive Company of the Dead--The Great
Vatican Museum Artist Sins of Omission--The Rape of the
Sabines--Papal Protection of Art--High Price of "Old
Masters"--Improved Scripture--Scale of Rank of the Holy Personages
in Rome--Scale of Honors Accorded Them--- Fossilizing--Away for
Naples

CHAPTER XXIX.
Naples--In Quarantine at Last--Annunciation--Ascent of Mount
Vesuvius--A Two Cent Community--The Black Side of Neapolitan
Character--Monkish Miracles--Ascent of Mount Vesuvius
Continued--The Stranger and the Hackman--Night View of Naples
from the Mountain-side---Ascent of Mount Vesuvius Continued

CHAPTER XXX.
Ascent of Mount Vesuvius Continued--Beautiful View at Dawn--Less
Beautiful in the Back Streets--Ascent of Vesuvius
Continued--Dwellings a Hundred Feet High--A Motley
Procession--Bill of Fare for a Peddler's Breakfast--Princely
Salaries--Ascent of Vesuvius Continued--An Average of Prices--The
wonderful "Blue Grotto"--Visit to Celebrated Localities in the Bay of
Naples--The Poisoned "Grotto of the Dog"--A Petrified Sea of
Lava--Ascent of Mount Vesuvius Continued--The Summit
Reached--Description of the Crater--Descent of Vesuvius

CHAPTER XXXI.

The Buried City of Pompeii--How Dwellings Appear that have been
Unoccupied for Eighteen hundred years--The Judgment
Seat--Desolation--The Footprints of the Departed--"No Women
Admitted"--Theatres, Bakeshops, Schools--Skeletons preserved by the
Ashes and Cinders--The Brave Martyr to Duty--Rip Van Winkle--The
Perishable Nature of Fame

CHAPTER XXXII.
At Sea Once More--The Pilgrims all Well--Superb Stromboli--Sicily by
Moonlight--Scylla and Charybdis--The "Oracle" at Fault--Skirting the
Isles of Greece Ancient Athens--Blockaded by Quarantine and Refused
Permission to Enter--Running the Blockade--A Bloodless Midnight
Adventure--Turning Robbers from Necessity--Attempt to Carry the
Acropolis by Storm--We Fail--Among the Glories of the Past--A World
of Ruined Sculpture--A Fairy Vision--Famous Localities--Retreating in
Good Order --Captured by the Guards--Travelling in Military
State--Safe on Board Again

CHAPTER XXXIII.
Modern Greece--Fallen Greatness--Sailing Through the Archipelago
and the Dardanelles--Footprints of History--The First Shoddy
Contractor of whom History gives any Account--Anchored Before
Constantinople--Fantastic Fashions--The Ingenious
Goose-Rancher--Marvelous Cripples--The Great Mosque--The
Thousand and One Columns--The Grand Bazaar of Stamboul

CHAPTER XXXIV.
Scarcity of Morals and Whiskey--Slave-Girl Market

Report--Commercial Morality at a Discount--The Slandered Dogs of
Constantinople-- Questionable Delights of Newspaperdom in
Turkey--Ingenious Italian Journalism--No More Turkish Lunches
Desired--The Turkish Bath Fraud-- The Narghileh Fraud--Jackplaned
by a Native--The Turkish Coffee Fraud

CHAPTER XXXV.
Sailing Through the Bosporus and the Black Sea--"Far-Away Moses"--
Melancholy Sebastopol--Hospitably Received in Russia--Pleasant
English People--Desperate Fighting--Relic Hunting--How Travellers
Form "Cabinets"

CHAPTER XXXVI.
Nine Thousand Miles East--Imitation American Town in
Russia--Gratitude that Came Too Late--To Visit the Autocrat of All the
Russias

CHAPTER XXXVII.
Summer Home of Royalty--Practising for the Dread
Ordeal--Committee on Imperial Address--Reception by the Emperor
and Family--Dresses of the Imperial Party--Concentrated
Power--Counting the Spoons--At the Grand Duke's--A Charming
Villa--A Knightly Figure--The Grand Duchess--A Grand Ducal
Breakfast--Baker's Boy, the Famine-Breeder--Theatrical Monarchs a
Fraud--Saved as by Fire--The Governor--General's Visit to the Ship--
Official "Style"--Aristocratic Visitors--"Munchausenizing" with
Them-- Closing Ceremonies

CHAPTER XXXVIII.
Return to Constantinople--We Sail for Asia--The Sailors Burlesque the
Imperial Visitors--Ancient Smyrna--The "Oriental Splendor" Fraud--
The "Biblical Crown of Life"--Pilgrim Prophecy-Savans--Sociable
Armenian Girls--A Sweet Reminiscence--"The Camels are Coming,
Ha-ha!"

CHAPTER XXXIX.
Smyrna's Lions--The Martyr Polycarp--The "Seven
Churches"--Remains of the Six Smyrnas--Mysterious Oyster Mine
Oysters--Seeking Scenery--A Millerite Tradition--A Railroad Out of its
Sphere

CHAPTER XL.
Journeying Toward Ancient Ephesus--Ancient Ayassalook--The
Villanous Donkey--A Fantastic Procession--Bygone
Magnificence--Fragments of History--The Legend of the Seven
Sleepers

CHAPTER XLI.
Vandalism Prohibited--Angry Pilgrims--Approaching Holy Land!--The
"Shrill Note of Preparation"--Distress About Dragomans and
Transportation-- The "Long Route" Adopted--In Syria--Something
about Beirout--A Choice Specimen of a Greek
"Ferguson"--Outfits--Hideous Horseflesh--Pilgrim "Style"--What of
Aladdin's Lamp?

CHAPTER XLII.
"Jacksonville," in the Mountains of Lebanon--Breakfasting above a
Grand Panorama--The Vanished City--The Peculiar Steed,
"Jericho"--The Pilgrims Progress--Bible Scenes--Mount Hermon,
Joshua's Battle Fields, etc.-- The Tomb of Noah--A Most Unfortunate
People

CHAPTER XLIII.
Patriarchal Customs--Magnificent Baalbec--Description of the Ruins--
Scribbling Smiths and Joneses--Pilgrim Fidelity to the Letter of the
Law --The Revered Fountain of Baalam's Ass

CHAPTER XLIV.
Extracts from Note-Book--Mahomet's Paradise and the
Bible's--Beautiful Damascus the Oldest City on Earth--Oriental Scenes
within the Curious Old City--Damascus Street Car--The Story of St.
Paul--The "Street called Straight"--Mahomet's Tomb and St.
George's--The Christian Massacre-- Mohammedan Dread of
Pollution--The House of Naaman-- The Horrors of Leprosy

CHAPTER XLV.
The Cholera by way of Variety--Hot--Another Outlandish
Procession--Pen and-Ink Photograph of "Jonesborough," Syria--Tomb
of Nimrod, the Mighty Hunter--The Stateliest Ruin of All--Stepping
over the Borders of Holy- Land--Bathing in the Sources of

Jordan--More "Specimen" Hunting--Ruins of Cesarea--Philippi--"On
This Rock Will I Build my Church"--The People the Disciples
Knew--The Noble Steed "Baalbec"--Sentimental Horse Idolatry of the
Arabs

CHAPTER XLVI.
Dan--Bashan--Genessaret--A Notable Panorama--Smallness of
Palestine-- Scraps of History--Character