The Foolish Dictionary | Page 8

to sin, poverty being the greatest of all sins.
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=IMPERIOUS= From Eng. imp, devil and aerial, airy. Airy as the devil.
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=INCANDESCENT LIGHT=
[Illustration]
From Lat. incendo, to burn, and Eng. cent, meaning money. An invention for burning money.
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=INCOME= The reliable offspring of a wise investment. From Lat. in and coma, meaning sleep. Money which works while you sleep.
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=INDEPENDENCE= Self government. Good enough for a Cuban, but too good for a Filipino.
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=INDIGESTION= A distressing stomach trouble that is sometimes temporarily relieved by kicking the cat or whipping the children.
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=INDIVIDUALITY= A harmless trait possessed by one's self. The same trait in others is downright idiocy.
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=INDORSE= To write on the back of; the best indorsed man in town being the Sandwich-Man.
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=INFANT= A disturber of the peace.
=INFANTRY= A defender of the peace.
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=INHABITANT= A native of any village, town or city. =OLDEST INHABITANT= The Champion Liar.
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=INTUITION= A fictitious quality in females--really Suspicion.
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=IRRITANT= Something which irritates. =COUNTER IRRITANT= A woman shopping.
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=ISLAND= A place where the bottom of the sea sticks up through the water.
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=ISOLATION= From Eng. ice, meaning cold, and Lat. solus, alone. Alone in the cold.

After dinner sit a while, after supper walk a mile- And every meal's a supper to the Hobo.
J
Lies have no legs--That's why we all have to stand for them.

=JACK= An instrument requiring a strong arm, and used for raising heavy weights, or for pulling off the boots.
=JACK-POT= An instrument requiring a strong hand, and used for raising heavy bets, or for pulling off the stakes.
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=JAG= From the Spanish word zaga, meaning a load packed on the outside of a van. In America the load is packed on the inside of a man.
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=JAM=
[Illustration]
A pantry composition in A minor.
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=JANITOR= From jangle, to quarrel, and torrid, meaning hot. Hot and quarrelsome.
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=JELLY-CAKE= Synonym for Belly-Ache.
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=JERSEY= Well knit.
=NEW JERSEY= Well bit. (See Mosquito).
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=JEW'S HARP=
[Illustration]
From Jew, a Hebrew, and Harp, a musical instrument, the Jew's musical instrument being a "Sell low!" (Old spelling, Cello).
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=JIMMY= An implement employed by men of acquisitive natures who cannot afford seats in the Stock Exchange.
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=JOB= An uncertain commodity regulated by a Union Card.
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=JOCKEY= From jog, to move slowly, and key, something that makes fast. Hence, one who makes the pace fast or slow, according to instructions.
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=JOINT= Either a low limb from the butcher, or a low quarter in town; in either case the lower the tougher.
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=JOKE= A form of humor enjoyed by some and misunderstood by most; in England, requiring a diagram, raised letters and a club.
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=JOLLY= v. t., To "con" or "josh."
=JOLLY BOAT= The Ship of State.
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=JUDGE= One who sits on a bench in a court, frames sentences and finishes crooks for a living, and swears continually.
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=JULEP= An insidious friend from the South, who hands you a mint and gives you a sweet spirit, followed shortly by a Bun.
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=JURY= Twelve men chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.
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=JUSTICE= Fair play; often sought, but seldom discovered, in company with Law.

A chip of the old block--A daughter of the Tenderloin.
K
One man's meat is another man's finish--Canned Beef in Cuba.

=KANGAROO= A hard drinker from Australia, especially fond of hops, and generally carrying a load.
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=KATYDID= A gossiping grasshopper who is always meddling in Katy's affairs.
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=KEEPSAKE= Something given us by someone we've forgotten.
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=KERNELS= or =COLONELS= Articles often found in cores (or corps) and frequently surrounded by shells.
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=KEROSENE=
[Illustration]
An alleged provider of heat and light. From Lat. carus, meaning expensive and seneo, to be weak; expensive but weak. For further explanation, consult Standard Oil Company.
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=KEYHOLE=
[Illustration]
A frequent test for sobriety.
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=KID= Either a boxing-glove or a first-born. In either case, hard to handle until well tanned.
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=KILTS= A Scotchman's apology for indecent exposure.
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=KINDRED= From Eng. kin, meaning relation, and dread, meaning fear; fearful relations.
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=KINDERGARTEN= From Ger. kinder, children, and Lat. garritus, a babbling. A place for babbling children.
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=KINDLING-WOOD= From Ger. kind, youth, and Eng. linger, to loaf. A place where youth generally loafs.
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=KISS= Nothing divided by two; meaning persecution for the infant,