The Foolish Dictionary | Page 4

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=CINDER= One of the first things to catch your eye in travelling.
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=CIVILIZATION= An upward growth or tendency that has enabled mankind to develop the college yell from what was once only a feeble war-whoop.
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=COLLECTOR= A man whom few care to see but many ask to call again.
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=COLLEGE= From Fr. colle, pasted or stuck, and etude, study. A place where everyone is stuck on study. (?)
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=COLONEL=
[Illustration]
A male resident of Kentucky.
See =KERNEL=.
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=COMPLIMENT= v. t., From Eng. con,--hot air, and Lat. pleo, to fill. Hence, to fill with hot air.
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=COMPLEXION= Color for the face. From Eng. complex, difficult, and shun, to avoid. To avoid difficulty, buy it of the druggist.
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=COMMENDATION= From Eng. con, a josh, and mend, to fix up. Hence, a fixed-up josh.
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=CONDUCTOR= From Eng. coin, and Lat. duco, to command. One who commands the coin.
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=CONSCIENCE= The fear of being found out.
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=COOK= A charitable institution, providing food and shelter for Policemen.
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=CORPS= A big bunch of fighters. (Dist. bet. cores found in apples and corps found in arms).
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=CORSET= From Fr. corps, shape, and sec, rough. Rough on the shape.
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=COSMETIC= A new face-maker. From Grk. kosmos, order, and Eng. medic, or doctor,--ordered by the doctor. (See Complexion.)
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=COT= A snooze for one.
=COTILLON= A dance for eight.
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=CREDIT
= Something for nothing.
=CREDITOR= Something with nothing.
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=CREDULITY= A feminine virtue and a masculine vice.
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=CREMATION= A means of disposing of the dead likely to become very popular, especially with women who are so fond of having the last retort.
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=CRITIC= A wet blanket that soaks everything it touches.
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=CROOK= One who exceeds the speed limit in Law & Order Ave. A Misfit in the Straight and Narrow Way.
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=CROW= A bird that never complains without caws.
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=CULTURE= A degree of mental development that produces tailor-made women, fantastically-sheared poodles and dock tailed horses.
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=CUPID= A driver of sharp darts.
=CUPIDITY= A driver of sharp deals.
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=CYNIC= A man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.

All work and no play makes Jack A Dead One.
D
Out of fight, out of coin.--The Pugilist's Plaint.

=DABBLE= v. t., To play in water.
=DABBLE IN STOCKS=--Same thing.
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=DACHSHUND= A low-down dog.
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=DANCE= A brisk, physical exercise, invented by St. Vitus.
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=DATES= A fruit commonly plucked from the Family Tree and spread on the leaves of history. (Dist. bet. Dates and Peaches, which are often associated).
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=DEAD= Without life. See Boston.
=DEADER= Pompeii.
=DEADEST= Philadelphia.
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=DEADBEAT= One who makes a soft living by sponging it.
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=DEBT= A big word beginning with Owe, which grows bigger the more it is contracted.
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=DEE-LIGHTED=
[Illustration]
An Oyster Bay localism, derived from delighted.
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(Patent and Dramatic rights to this word are, until March 4, 1905, the exclusive property of T. Roosevelt, Esq., Subsequent editions of The Foolish Dictionary will define the word at length).
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=DELEGATE= From Eng. dally, to loaf, and Fr. gate, spoiled. A spoiled loafer.
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=DEMAGOGUE= From Grk. demos, people, and Eng. gag. One who gags the people.
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=DEMOCRACY= A mysterious country, bounded on the east by Richard Olney, on the west by Willie Bryan, on the north by Dave Hill and on the south by Bennie Pitchfork Tillman.
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=DEN= A cavity.
=DENT= To punch.
=DENTIST= One who punches the face and fills cavities.
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=DEUCE= An honest card, in fact the only one that is never known to beat tray.
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=DEVIL=
[Illustration]
An old rascal mentioned in the Bible, now reported engaged to Mary McLane.
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=DIAMOND= A bright gem the sparkle of which sometimes renders a woman stone-blind to the defects of the man proffering it.
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=DIARY= An honest autobiography. A good keepsake, but a bad give-away.
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=DIGNITY= A narrow, unstable bearing which mental spindle-shanks try to stand upon when they have no other support.
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=DICKENS= An author; polite term for the devil.
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=DIE= An effect.
=DIET= Frequently a cause.
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=DIMPLE= A ripple in the gentle whirlpool of a pretty woman's smile.
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=DIPLOMAT= An international liar, with an elastic conscience and a rubber neck.
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=DISCOUNT= Something often sold in place of goods.
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