The Book of Good Manners | Page 3

INTRODUCTION.
INVITATIONS. Engraved invitations are sent a week or ten days in
advance, by mail or messenger.
They are usually issued in the name of the hostess only, though they

may be issued in the name of both husband and wife.
In place of the visiting-card, an "At Home" card may be used, or cards
specially engraved for the purpose.
When cards are sent to a married couple, the cards are addressed to
both husband and wife.
Invitations are sent in two envelopes-the inner one unsealed and
bearing the name of the guest, and the outer one sealed, with, the street
address.
INVITATIONS, ANSWERING. It is not necessary to accept or decline
these invitations, as the guest accepts by his presence. If unable to do
so, he should send by mail or messenger a visiting-card, to reach the
hostess during the ceremony.
When the invitation has been issued in the name of the hostess only, a
husband and wife each send a card, and if in the name of hostess and
her daughter, each should send two cards. If the invitation has been
issued in the name of the husband and wife, the wife should send one
and a husband two cards.
If the woman in the family is the only one present at the function, she
can leave cards for the rest of the family.
MEN. Both the host and men wear the regulation afternoon dress,
consisting of the long frock coat with single or double-breasted
waistcoat to match, or of some fancy cloth, and gray trousers. White
linen, a light tie, a silk hat, gray gloves, and patent leather shoes
complete the costume.
The overcoat, hat, and cane are left in the dressing-room, and the guest
removes one or both gloves as he pleases--remembering that he must
offer his ungloved right hand to the hostess.
SHAKING HANDS. Guests on being presented to the hostess should
shake hands. If guest takes leave of hostess, they should shake hands. If

the hostess is surrounded by guests, a pleasant nod of farewell is
admissible.
WOMEN. Women leave cards of their male relatives as well as their
own, even though their names may be announced upon entering. Guests
leave their cards in a receptacle provided for the purpose, or give them
to the servant at the door.
Women wear a costume appropriate for the afternoon, and keep their
hats and gloves on.

AFTERNOON TEAS (INFORMAL). An afternoon tea is a simple
entertainment. Refreshments are generally served to the guests. An
innovation lately introduced has become quite popular --namely, young
women, invited for the purpose, wait upon the guests, bringing in one
dainty at a time.
An afternoon tea is called a formal afternoon tea when engraved cards
have been issued, naming set date.
CARDS. Guests should leave cards in the hall, or hand them to the
servant. Women may leave the cards of the men of her family. Those
unable to attend should send card the same afternoon by mail or
messenger.
See also AFTERNOON TEAS (Formal)-Cards.
DRESS. Both men and women wear afternoon dress.
GUESTS. All guests, both men and women, wear afternoon dress.
Guests may suit their convenience in arriving or departing--provided
they do not come at the opening hour, nor stay to the last moment.
After the guests have left their wraps in the dressing-rooms, they leave
their cards in the tray in the hall and enter the drawing- room, the
women preceding the men.

After greeting the hostess and being introduced to those assisting her,
the guests quietly move away and mingle with the rest.
Each guest goes to the dining-room when he pleases and leaves when
he wishes. It is not necessary upon departure to shake hands with the
hostess at a large reception, though it is better to do so at a small affair.
It is not necessary for a guest to stay the entire evening; twenty minutes
is sufficient.
HOST. If present, he does not receive with his wife. It is not essential
that he be present on such an occasion.
HOSTESS. The hostess wears full dress. Daughters may assist, or
young women may be asked to do so.
HOURS. From four to seven.
INVITATIONS. For an afternoon tea a visiting- card may be used with
the hour and date written or engraved on it. They may be sent by mail
or messenger.
The invitation need not be acknowledged.

AFTERNOON WEDDING RECEPTIONS are conducted the same as
Wedding Receptions, which see.

AGRICULTURE, SECRETARY OF--HOW ADDRESSED. An
official letter begins: Sir, and ends: I have sir, the honor to remain your
most obedient servant.
A social letter begins: My dear Mr. Wilson, and ends: I have the honor
to remain most sincerely yours.
The address on the envelope is: Hon. John J. Wilson, Secretary of
Agriculture.

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