Routledges Manual of Etiquette | Page 4

returning visits of ceremony you may, without impoliteness, leave your card at the
door without going in. Do not fail, however, to inquire if the family be well.
Should there be daughters or sisters residing with the lady upon whom you call, you may
turn down a corner of your card, to signify that the visit is paid to all. It is in better taste,
however, to leave cards for each.

Unless when returning thanks for "kind inquiries," or announcing your arrival in, or
departure from, town, it is not considered respectful to send round cards by a servant.
Leave-taking cards have P.P.C. (_pour prendre congé_) written in the corner. Some use
P.D.A. (_pour dire adieu_).
It is not the fashion on the Continent for unmarried ladies to affix any equivalent to the
English "Miss" to their visiting cards. _Emilie Dubois_, or _Kätchen Clauss_, is thought
more simple and elegant than if preceded by Mademoiselle or _Fraülein_. Some English
girls have of late adopted this good custom, and it would be well if it became general.
Autographic facsimiles for visiting cards are affectations in any persons but those who
are personally remarkable for talent, and whose autographs, or facsimiles of them, would
be prized as curiosities. A card bearing the autographic signature of Agnes Strickland or
Mary Somerville, though only a lithographic facsimile, would have a certain interest;
whereas the signature of Jane Smith would be not only valueless; but would make the
owner ridiculous.
Visits of condolence are paid within the week after the event which occasions them.
Personal visits of this kind are made by relations and very intimate friends only.
Acquaintances should leave cards with narrow mourning borders.
On the first occasion when you are received by the family after the death of one of its
members, it is etiquette to wear slight mourning.
Umbrellas should invariably be left in the hall.
Never take favourite dogs into a drawing-room when you make a morning call. Their feet
may be dusty, or they may bark at the sight of strangers, or, being of too friendly a
disposition, may take the liberty of lying on a lady's gown, or jumping on the sofas and
easy chairs. Where your friend has a favourite cat already established before the fire, a
battle may ensue, and one or other of the pets be seriously hurt. Besides, many persons
have a constitutional antipathy to dogs, and others never allow their own to be seen in the
sitting-rooms. For all or any of these reasons, a visitor has no right to inflict upon her
friend the society of her dog as well as of herself. Neither is it well for a mother to take
young children with her when she pays morning visits; their presence, unless they are
unusually well trained, can only be productive of anxiety to both yourself and your
hostess. She, while striving to amuse them, or to appear interested in them, is secretly
anxious for the fate of her album, or the ornaments on her _étagére_; while the mother is
trembling lest her children should say or do something objectionable.
If other visitors are announced, and you have already remained as long as courtesy
requires, wait till they are seated, and then rise from your chair, take leave of your hostess,
and bow politely to the newly arrived guests. You will, perhaps, be urged to remain, but,
having once risen, it is best to go. There is always a certain air of gaucherie in resuming
your seat and repeating the ceremony of leave-taking.
If you have occasion to look at your watch during a call, ask permission to do so, and
apologise for it on the plea of other appointments.
In receiving morning visitors, it is not necessary that the lady should lay aside the
employment in which she may be engaged, particularly if it consists of light or
ornamental needle-work. Politeness, however, requires that music, drawing, or any
occupation which would completely engross the attention, be at once abandoned.
You need not advance to receive visitors when announced, unless they are persons to
whom you are desirous of testifying particular attention. It is sufficient if a lady rises to

receive her visitors, moves forward a single step to shake hands with them, and remains
standing till they are seated.
When your visitors rise to take leave you should rise also, and remain standing till they
have quite left the room. Do not accompany them to the door, but be careful to ring in
good time, that the servant may be ready in the hall to let them out.
A lady should dress well, but not too richly, when she pays a morning visit. If she has a
carriage at command, she may dress more elegantly than if she were on foot.