Perfect Behavior | Page 6

ocean are watered with the tears of those who seek to walk on
their own hook.
Within a week after you have sent the young lady the flowers, you
should receive a polite note of thanks, somewhat as follows: "My dear
Mr. Roe: Those lovely flowers came quite as a surprise. They are
lovely, and I cannot thank you enough for your thoughtfulness. Their
lovely fragrance fills my room as I write, and I wish to thank you again.
It was lovely of you."
FLOWERS AND THEIR MESSAGE IN COURTSHIP
It is now time to settle down to the more serious business of courtship.
Her letter shows beyond the shadow of a figurative doubt that she is
"interested," and the next move is "up to you." Probably she will soon
come into the office to see her father, in which case you should have
ready at hand some appropriate gift, such as, for example, a nice potted
geranium. Great care should be taken, however, that it is a plant of the
correct species, for in the etiquette of courtship all flowers have
different meanings and many a promising affair has been ruined
because a suitor sent his lady a buttercup, meaning "That's the last
dance I'll ever take you to, you big cow," instead of a plant with a more
tender significance. Some of the commoner flowers and their meaning
in courtship are as follows:
Fringed Gentian--"I am going out to get a shave. Back at 3:30."
Poppy--"I would be proud to be the father of your children."
Golden-rod--"I hear that you have hay-fever."
Tuberose--"Meet me Saturday at the Fourteenth Street subway station."
Blood-root--"Aunt Kitty murdered Uncle Fred Thursday."
Dutchman's Breeches--"That case of Holland gin and Old Tailor has
arrived. Come on over."

Iris--"Could you learn to love an optician?"
Aster--"Who was that stout Jewish-looking party I saw you with in the
hotel lobby Friday?"
Deadly Nightshade--"Pull down those blinds, quick!"
Passion Flower--"Phone Main 1249--ask for Eddie."
Raspberry--"I am announcing my engagement to Charlie O'Keefe
Tuesday."
Wild Thyme--"I have seats for the Hippodrome Saturday afternoon."
The above flowers can also be combined to make different meanings,
as, for example, a bouquet composed of three tuberoses and some
Virginia creeper generally signifies the following, "The reason I didn't
call for you yesterday was that I had three inner tube punctures, besides
a lot of engine trouble in that old car I bought in Virginia last year.
Gosh, I'm sorry!"
But to return to the etiquette of our present courtship. As Miss Doe
leaves the office you follow her, holding the potted plant in your left
hand. After she has gone a few paces you step up to her, remove your
hat (or cap) with your right hand, and offer her the geranium,
remarking, "I beg your pardon, miss, but didn't you drop this?" A great
deal depends upon the manner in which you offer the plant and the way
she receives it. If you hand it to her with the flower pointing upward it
means, "Dare I hope?" Reversed, it signifies, "Your petticoat shows
about an inch, or an inch and a half." If she receives the plant in her
right hand, it means, "I am"; left hand, "You are"; both hands--"He, she
or it is." If, however, she takes the pot firmly in both hands and breaks
it with great force on your head, the meaning is usually negative and
your only correct course of procedure is a hasty bow and a brief
apology.
RECEIVING AN INVITATION TO CALL

Let us suppose, however, that she accepts the geranium in such a
manner that you are encouraged to continue the acquaintance. Your
next move should be a request for an invitation to call upon her at her
home. This should, above all things, not be done crudely. It is better
merely to suggest your wish by some indirect method such as, "Oh--so
you live on William Street. Well, well! I often walk on William Street
in the evening, but I have never called on any girl there--YET." The
"yet" may be accompanied by a slight raising of your eyebrows, a wink,
or a friendly nudge with your elbow. Unless she is unusually "dense"
she will probably "take the hint" and invite you to come and see her
some evening. At once you should say, "WHAT evening? How about
TO-NIGHT?" If she says that she is already engaged for that evening,
take a calendar out of your pocket and remark, "Tomorrow?
Wednesday? Thursday? Friday? I really have no engagements between
now and October. Saturday? Sunday?" This will show her that you are
really desirous of calling upon her and she will probably say, "Well, I
think I am free Thursday night, but you had better telephone me first."
THE ETIQUETTE OF TELEPHONING
On Thursday