OverTheEdge-101 Sex Jokes And Comix | Page 5

so ld my ow n tick ets . "Y ou don 't unde rs ta nd ," I sa id , "I ho ped to
ha ve Sex on TV ." H e ca lle d me a sho w off .
W hen my wi fe an d I se pa ra ted , w e wen t to cou rt to fig h t fo r cu sto d y of t he do g. I said , "Y ou r H ono r, I
had Sex befo re I w as m arr ied bu t S ex le ft me aft er I w as m arr ied ." The Ju d ge sa id , "M e too !"
La st nig h t S ex ran off aga in . I s pe nt hou rs loo kin g all ove r fo r he r. A co p ca m e ove r an d ask ed me
w ha t I was do in g in th e a lle y at 4 o 'c lo ck in th e morn in g. I sa id , "I'm lo okin g fo r Sex." -- M y ca se
c o m es up ne xt T hu rs da y.
W ell no w I'v e been th ro w n in ja il, been d iv o rc ed a nd had more dam n tr o ub le s wit h th at do g th an I
e ve r fo re sa w . W hy ju st t he o the r da y when I w en t fo r m y fir s t se ss ion wit h th e p syc h ia tr is t, sh e a sked
m e, "W ha t se e m s to be the tr oub le ?" I re p lied , "S ex ha s been my be st fr ien d all m y life bu t no w it ha s
l e ft me fo r eve r. I co u ldn 't liv e an y lon ge r so lone ly ." and th e do cto r sa id , "L oo k mis te r, you sh ou ld
un de rs ta nd th a t se x is n 't a m an 's be st fr ien d so ge t you rs e lf a do g."

D urin g the pa st yea r, I ha ve a tte m pted to
m ake lo ve to you 36 5 tim es. I ha ve
s u cc eeded 36 tim es, w hic h is an a ve ra ge of
on ly on ce e ve ry 10 da ys . T he fo llo w in g is a
li s t of w hy I didn 't su cc ee d more oft en :
W e will wake the kid s - 54 tim es
It 's to o la te - 15 tim es
I 'm too tir e d - 42 tim es
It 's to o ea rly - 12 tim es
It 's to o h ot - 18 tim es
P re te nd in g to be a slee p - 31 tim es
T he ne ig hbo rs will hea r - 9 tim es
H eada che o r ba cka ch e - 26 tim es
S un bu rn - 10 tim es
Y ou r m othe r w ill hea r us - 9 tim es
N ot in the mood - 21 tim