Operation R.S.V.P. | Page 2

to know
anything of the whereabouts of Dr. Voronoff.
At the same time, there is considerable concern in UPREA Government
circles over the disappearances of certain prominent East Asian
scientists, e.g.. Dr. Hong Foo, the nuclear physicist; Dr. Hin Yang-Woo,
the great theoretical mathematician; Dr. Mong Shing, the electronics
expert. I am informed that UPREA Government sources are attributing
these disappearances to us.
I can only say that I am sincerely sorry that this is not the case.
Krylenkoff

Wu Fung Tung to Vladmir N. Dzhoubinsky:
21 April, 1984
Estimable Sir:
In accordance with our established policy of free exchange with
friendly Powers of scientific information, permit me to inform your
Government that a new mutated disease-virus has been developed in
our biological laboratories, causing a highly contagious disease similar
in symptoms to bubonic plague, but responding to none of the
treatments for this latter disease. This new virus strain was accidentally

produced in the course of some experiments with radioactivity.
In spite of the greatest care, it is feared that this virus has spread
beyond the laboratory in which it was developed. We warn you most
urgently of the danger that it may have spread to the UEESR; enclosed
are a list of symptoms, etc.
My Government instructs me to advise your Government that the
attitude of your Government in the Khakum River question is utterly
unacceptable, and will require considerable revision before my
Government can even consider negotiation with your Government on
the subject. Your obedient and respectful servant,
Wu Fung Tung

From N. Y. Times, May 12, 1984:
AFGHAN RULER FETED AT
MOSCOW
Ameer sees Red Square Troop Review;
Confers with Premier-President Mouzorgin

Sing Yat, UPREA Ambassador at Moscow, to Wu Fung Tung:
26 June, 1984
Venerable and Honored Sir:
I regret humbly that I can learn nothing whatever about the fate of the
learned scholars of science of whom you inquire, namely: Hong Foo,
Hin Yang-Woo, Mong Shing, Yee Ho Li, Wong Fat, and Bao Hu-Shin.
This inability may be in part due to incompetence of my unworthy self,
but none of my many sources of information, including Soviet Minister

of Police Morgodoff, who is on my payroll, can furnish any useful data
whatever. I am informed, however, that the UEESR Government is
deeply concerned about similar disappearances of some of the foremost
of their own scientists, including Voronoff, Jirnikov, Kagorinoff,
Bakhorin, Himmelfarber and Pavlovinsky, all of whose dossiers are on
file with our Bureau of Foreign Intelligence. I am further informed that
the Government of the UEESR ascribes these disappearances to our
own activities.
Ah, Venerable and Honored Sir, if this were only true!
Kindly condescend to accept compliments of,
Sing Yat

Dzhoubinsky to Wu Fung Tung:
6 October, 1984
Honored Sir:
Pursuant to our well known policy of exchanging scientific information
with the Governments of friendly Powers, my Government takes the
greatest pleasure in announcing a scientific discovery of inestimable
value to the entire world. I refer to nothing less than a positive
technique for liquidating rats as a species.
This technique involves treatment of male rats with certain types of
hard radiations, which not only renders them reproductively sterile but
leaves the rodents so treated in full possession of all other sexual
functions and impulses. Furthermore, this condition of sterility is
venereally contagious, so that one male rat so treated will sterilize all
female rats with which it comes in contact, and these, in turn, will
sterilize all male rats coming in contact with them. Our mathematicians
estimate that under even moderately favorable circumstances, the entire
rat population of the world could be sterilized from one male rat in
approximately two hundred years.

Rats so treated have already been liberated in the granaries at Odessa;
in three months, rat-trappings there have fallen by 26.4 percent, and
grain-losses to rats by 32.09 percent.
We are shipping you six dozen sterilized male rats, which you can use
for sterilization stock, and, by so augmenting their numbers, may
duplicate our own successes.
Curiously enough, this effect of venereally contagious sterility was
discovered quite accidentally, in connection with the use of hard
radiations for human sterilization (criminals, mental defectives, etc.).
Knowing the disastrous possible effects of an epidemic of contagious
human sterility, all persons so sterilized were liquidated as soon as the
contagious nature of their sterility had been discovered, with the
exception of a dozen or so convicts, who had been released before this
discovery was made. It is believed that at least some of them have
made their way over the border and into the territory of the United
Peoples' Republics of East Asia. I must caution your Government to be
on the lookout of them. Among a people still practicing
ancestor-worship, an epidemic of sterility would be a disaster indeed.
My Government must