Mr Pim Passes By | Page 3

he's probably still alive, and will turn up here one morning and annoy George.
PIM (shocked). Oh!
DINAH. But I'm afraid there's not much chance.
PIM (shocked). Miss Marden! Really!
DINAH, Well, of course, I don't really want it to happen, but it would be rather exciting. (Crossing to PIM.) Wouldn't it, Mr Pim?
PIM. Exciting!
(PIM crosses to below settee L.)
DINAH. However, things like that never seem to occur down here, somehow, (Running up into window up R. PIM watches her.) There was a hayrick burnt last year about a mile away, but that isn't the same, is it?
PIM. No, I should say that that was certainly different.
DINAH (coming to back of table L.C.). Of course, something very, very wonderful did happen last night. (Backing away.) No, no! I'm not sure if I know you well enough--(She looks at him hesitatingly.)
PIM (uncomfortably). Really, Miss Marden, you mustn't. I am only a--a passer-by, here to-day and gone to-morrow. You really mustn't--
DINAH (looking round and earning down to PIM), And yet there's something about you, Mr. Pim, which inspires confidence.
PIM (moving to L.). Oh, no. Really, you mustn't tell me.
DINAH (taking his arm). The fact is--(in a stage whisper)--I got engaged last night!
PIM. Dear me, let me congratulate you. I wish somebody would come here.
DINAH (running up to foot of staircase up R. and looking off), I expect that's why George is keeping you such a long time. (Turning to PIM.) Brian, my young man, the well-known painter--only nobody has ever heard of him--he's smoking a pipe with George in the library and asking for his niece's hand. (Coming back to PIM, _and taking his hands, she dances round with him in a circle_.)
(PIM falls exhausted and coughing on to settee L. and DINAH _laughing sits on settee_ R.)
DINAH. Isn't it exciting? You're really rather lucky, Mr. Pim--I mean being told so soon. Even Olivia doesn't know yet.
PIM. Yes, yes, I congratulate you, Miss Marden. Perhaps it would be better--(About to get up.)
(ANNE comes in from staircase up R. She comes to C.)
ANNE. Mr. Marden is out at the moment, sir--
DINAH (disappointed). Oh!
ANNE (seeing DINAH). Oh, I didn't see you, Miss Dinah!
PIM. Out! Eh? Dear! Dear!
DINAH, It's all right, Anne. (Rising.) I'm looking after Mr. Pim.
ANNE. Very well, Miss.
PIM (sotto voce). Out! Oh, well, I'd better go--
(Exit ANNE up staircase B.)
DINAH (excitedy). That's me. (_Running up to foot of staircase and watching ANNE off_.) They can't discuss me in the library without breaking down--(coming down R. and imitating GEORGE and BRIAN)--so they're walking up and down outside, and slashing at the thistles in order to conceal their emotion. You know. I expect Brian--(_Crossing up to R. of window_.)
PIM (rising, calling). Miss Marden! Miss Marden! (_Looking at his watch_.) Yes, I think, Miss Marden, I had better go now and return a little later. I have a telegram which I want to send, and perhaps by the time I come back your uncle will be able--
DINAH (coming to PIM). Oh, but how disappointing of you, when we were getting on together so nicely! And it was just going to be your turn to tell me all about yourself.
PIM. I have really nothing to tell, Miss Marden. I have a letter of introduction to your uncle, who in turn will give me, I hope, a letter to a certain distinguished man whom it is necessary for me to meet. That is all. (Holding out his hand.) And now, Miss Marden, I really think I'd better be going.
DINAH (taking his arm and hading him up stage C. to L.). Oh, I'll start you on your way to the post office.
PIM. Will you? Now, that's really very kind of you.
DINAH. No, it isn't.
PIM. Oh, but it is! You're a very kind little girl.
DINAH. I want to know if you're married--
PIM. Oh, no, I'm not married.
DINAH.--and all that sort of thing. You've got heaps to tell me, Mr. Pim. Have you got your hat? (PIM shows his hat.) Oh yes! That's right.
(BRIAN STRANGE comes in from window up R. He is what GEORGE _calls a damned futuristic painter chap, aged 24. To look at he is a very pleasant boy, rather untidily dressed. He is about to tell DINAH the result of his interview with GEORGE when he catches sight of_ PIM.)
Then we'll--hullo, here's Brian! (Crossing below and to his R. _seizing him_.) Brian, this is Mr. Pim! Mr. Carraway Pim. He's been telling me all about himself.
PIM. I haven't said a word. I never opened my mouth.
DINAH. It's so interesting. He's just going to send a telegram, and then he's coming back again. Mr. Pim--(_coyly and moving down to head of settee R.)--this is Brian--you_ know,
BRIAN (nodding). How-do-you-do?
PIM. How-do-you-do, sir?
DINAH (pleadingly and crossing below BRIAN to PIM), You won't mind going to the post office by yourself now, will you? (_Coyly