Mr Pim Passes By | Page 4

moving up to chair by writing-table and nervously kicking her ankle, etc_.) Because, you see, Brian and I--(She looks lovingly at BRIAN.)
PIM (moved to sentiment). Miss Dinah and Mr.--er--Brian, I have only come into your lives for a moment, and it is probable that I shall now pass out of them for ever, but perhaps you will permit an old man--
DINAH. Oh, not so old!
PIM (chuckling happily). Not old? Well, shall we say a middle-aged man--(DINAH nods assent. PIM laughs again)--a middle-aged man to wish you both every happiness in the years that you have before you. (Crossing in front of DINAH, shakes hands with BRIAN.) Good-bye-- (shaking hands with DINAH)--good-bye, and thank you so much. Oh, I know my way. (Moving up L. and turning to DINAH.) Turn to the left and down the hill? Turn to the left and down the hill.
(Exit PIM up L. DINAH watches him off up L. on terrace and BRIAN up R.)
DINAH (coming into the room below writing-table to R.C.). Brian, he'll get lost if he goes that way.
BRIAN (crossing at back of windows and calling after him up L.). Round to the left, sir. Yes, that's right. (_He comes back into the room, crossing down_ L.C.) Rum old bird. Who is he?
DINAH. Darling, you haven't kissed me yet.
BRIAN (moving up to her and pulling her down to below settee L.), Oh, I say. I oughtn't to, but then one never ought to do the nice things.
DINAH. Why oughtn't you?
(They sit on the sofa together--BRIAN to R., DINAH to L.)
BRIAN. Well, we said we'd be good until we'd told your uncle and aunt all about it. You see, being a guest in their house--
DINAH. But, darling child, what have you been doing all this morning except telling George?
BRIAN. Oh, trying to tell George.
DINAH (nodding). Yes, of course, there's a difference.
BRIAN. I think he guessed there was something up, and he took me down to see the pigs--he said he had to see the pigs at once--I don't know why; an appointment perhaps. And we talked about pigs all the way, and I couldn't say, "Talking about pigs, I want to marry your niece--"
DINAH (with mock indignation). Oh, of course you couldn't.
BRIAN. No. Well, you see how it was. And then when we'd finished talking about pigs, we started talking to the pigs--
DINAH (eagerly). Oh, how is Arnold?
BRIAN. Arnold...? Oh yes, that's the little black-and-white one? He's very jolly, I believe, but naturally I wasn't thinking about him much. I was wondering how to begin. And then Lumsden came up, and wanted to talk pig-food, and the atmosphere grew less and less romantic, and--and I gradually drifted away.
DINAH. Oh, poor darling! Well, we shall have to approach him through Olivia.
BRIAN. But I always wanted to tell her first; she's so much easier. Only you wouldn't let me.
DINAH. That's your fault, Brian. You would tell Olivia that she ought to have orange-and-black curtains in here.
BRIAN. But she wants orange and black curtains in here.
DINAH. Yes. (Rising and standing with her back to fire, imitating GEORGE.) But George says he's not going to have any Futuristic nonsense in an honest English country house, which has been good enough for his father and his grandfather and his great-grandfather, and--and all the rest of them. (Kneels on settee.) So there's a sort of strained feeling between Olivia and George just now, and if Olivia were to--sort of recommend you, well, it wouldn't do you much good.
BRIAN (looking at her). I see. Of course I know what you want, Dinah.
DINAH. What do I want?
BRIAN. You want a secret engagement--
DINAH. Oh!
BRIAN. And notes left under door-mats--
DINAH. Oh!
BRIAN. And meetings by the withered thorn--
DINAH. Oh!
BRIAN. When all the household is asleep.
DINAH. Oh!
BRIAN. I know you.
DINAH. Oh, but it is such fun! I love meeting people by withered thorns.
BRIAN. Well, I'm not going to have it.
DINAH (childishly, sitting close to him). Oh, George! Look at us being husbandy!
BRIAN. You babe! I adore you. (He kisses her and holds her hands.) You know, you're rather throwing yourself away on me. Do you mind?
DINAH (_putting her legs up on settee and reclining her head on his shoulder_). Not a bit.
BRIAN. We shall never be rich, but we shall have lots of fun, and meet interesting people, and feel that we're doing something worth doing, and not getting paid nearly enough for it, and we can curse the Academy together and the British Public, and--oh, it's an exciting life.
DINAH (seeing it). I shall love it.
BRIAN (sincerely). I'll make you love it. You shan't be sorry, Dinah.
DINAH. You shan't be sorry either, Brian.
BRIAN (looking at her lovingly). Oh, I know I shan't.... What will Olivia think about it? Will she be surprised?
DINAH. Olivia? Oh, she's never surprised. She always seems to have thought of things about