Mr Pim Passes By | Page 2

turn to the left when you get outside the gates, it's about a hundred yards down the hill. Turn to the left and down the hill.
PIM. Turn to the left and down the hill. Thank you, thank you. Very stupid of me to have forgotten.
(ANNE exits up staircase R.)
(MR. PIM _wanders about the room humming to himself, and looking at the pictures and photos on piano. Then goes out at window up_ L.) (DINAH enters from staircase up R. _dancing, and humming the air of "Down on the Farm:" she is nineteen, very pretty, very happy, and full of boyish high spirits and conversation. She dances to foot of stairs, looks off_ R., then down C., _then to piano; sits and plays a few bars and sings "Down on the Farm," rises and moves up to R. of piano, and as she does so PIM re-enters from window up L. and they come suddenly face to face up back C. below the writing-table. There is a slight pause_.)
DINAH (backing a step). Hullo!
PIM. You must forgive me, but... Good morning, Mrs. Marden.
DINAH. Oh, I say, I'm not Mrs. Marden. I'm Dinah.
PIM (with a smile). Then I will say, Good morning. Miss Diana.
DINAH (reproachfully). Now, look here, if you and I are going to be friends, you mustn't do that. Dinah, not Diana. Do remember it, there's a good man, because I get so tired of correcting people. (Moving down C. to B.) Have you come to stay with us? (Sits on settee R.)
PIM (following her down). Well, no, Miss--er--Dinah.
DINAH (nodding). That's right. I can see I shan't have to speak to you again. Now tell me your name, and I bet you I get it right first time. And do sit down.
PIM (crossing to L. and sitting on settee L.). Thank you. My name is-- er--Pim, Carraway Pim--
DINAH. Pim, that's easy.
PIM. And I have a letter of introduction to your father--
DINAH (rising and crossing to R. of table L.C. _and speaking across same_). Oh, no; now you're going wrong again, Mr. Pim. George isn't my father; he's my uncle. Uncle George--he doesn't like me calling him George. Olivia doesn't mind--I mean she doesn't mind being called Olivia, but George is rather touchy. (Sitting on table, facing PIM.) You see, he's been my guardian since I was about two, and then about five years ago he married a widow called Mrs. Telworthy.
PIM (repeating). Mrs. Telworthy.
DINAH. That's Olivia--so she became my Aunt Olivia, only she lets me drop the Aunt. (Speaking very sharply.) Get that?
PIM (a little alarmed). I--I think so, Miss Marden.
DINAH (admiringly). I say, you are quick, Mr. Pim. Well, if you take my advice, when you've finished your business with George, you will hang about a bit and see if you can't see Olivia. (Rising and moving C.) She's simply--(feeling for the word)--devastating. I don't wonder George fell in love with her.
(Moving to above piano R., looking at photos, etc.)
PIM (rising and looking at his watch and coming C.). It's only the merest matter of business--just a few words with your uncle--Perhaps I'd better...
DINAH (looking at photo on top end of piano). Well, you must please yourself, Mr. Pim. I'm just giving you a friendly word of advice. Naturally, I was awfully glad to get such a magnificent aunt. (_Moving down to L. of piano and taking up and looking at photo of_ OLIVIA.) Because, after all, marriage is rather a toss up, isn't it?--
PIM (taken aback). Well, I don't, know, I haven't had any experience...
DINAH (continuing). And George might have gone off with anybody. (Moving to PIM.) It's different on the stage, where guardians always marry their wards, but George couldn't marry me because I'm his niece. Mind you, I don't say that I should have had him, because, between ourselves, he's a little bit old-fashioned.
PIM. So he married--er--Mrs. Marden instead.
DINAH. Mrs. Telworthy--don't say you've forgotten already, just when you were getting so good at names. Mrs. Telworthy. (_Moves to and sits on settee_ R.) You see, Olivia married the Telworthy man and went to Australia with him, and he drank himself to death in the bush, or wherever you drink yourself to death out there, and Olivia came home to England, and met my uncle, and he fell in love with her and proposed to her--(rises and kneels on settee)--and he came into my room that night-- I was about fourteen--and turned on the light and said, "Dinah, how would you like to have a beautiful aunt of your very own?" (PIM laughs.) And I said: "Congratulations, George." (PIM laughs again.) That was the first time I called him George. Of course, I'd seen it coming for weeks. Telworthy, isn't it a funny name?
PIM. Oh, a most curious name--Telworthy. From Australia, you say?
DINAH. Yes, I always say that