More Fables | Page 5

THE FARM]
When the Respected Farmer had been Married for Twenty Years and
the Children had developed into long Gawks who did not know
Anything except to get out and Toil all Day for Pa and not be paid
anything for it, and after Henry had scraped together more Money than
you could load on a Hay-Rack, an Unfortunate Thing happened. His
Wife began to Fail. She was now Forty, but the Fair and Fat did not go

with it. At that Age some Women are Buxom and just blossoming into
the Full Charm of Matronly Womanhood. But Henry's Wife was Gaunt
and Homely and all Run Down. She had been Poorly for Years, but she
had to keep up and do the Chores as well as the House-Work, because
Henry could not afford to hire a Girl. At last her Back gave out, so that
she had to sit down and Rest every Once in a While. Henry would
come in for his Meals and to let her know how Hearty all the Calves
seemed to be, and he began to Notice that she was not very Chipper. It
Worried him more than a little, because he did not care to pay any
Doctor Bills. He told her she had better go and get some Patent
Medicine that he had seen advertised on the Fence coming out from
Town. It was only Twenty-Five cents a Bottle, and was warranted to
Cure Anything. So she tried it, but it did not seem to restore her Youth
and she got Weaker, and at last Henry just had to have the Doctor,
Expense or No Expense. The Doctor said that as nearly as he could
Diagnose her Case, she seemed to be Worn Out. Henry was Surprised,
and said she had not been Complaining any more than Usual.
Next Afternoon he was out Dickering for a Bull, and his Woman, lying
on the cheap Bedstead, up under the hot Roof, folded her lean Hands
and slipped away to the only Rest she had known since she tied up with
a Prosperous and Respected Farmer.
[Illustration: THE FAMILY]
Henry was all Broken Up. He Wailed and Sobbed and made an Awful
Fuss at the Church. The Preacher tried to Comfort him by saying that
the Ways of Providence were beyond all Finding Out. He said that
probably there was some Reason why the Sister had been taken right in
the Prime of her Usefulness, but it was not for Henry to know it. He
said the only Consolation he could offer was the Hope that possibly she
was Better Off. There did not seem to be much Doubt about that.
In about a Month the Respected Farmer was riding around the Country
in his Buck-Board looking for Number Two. He had a business Head
and he knew it was Cheaper to Marry than to Hire one. His Daughter
was only Eleven and not quite Big Enough as yet to do all the Work for
five Men.

Finally he found one who had the Reputation of being a Good Worker.
When he took her over to his House to Break Her In, the Paper at the
County Seat referred to them as the Happy Couple.
MORAL: Be Honest and Respected and it Goes.

THE FABLE OF WHY SWEETIE FLEW THE TRACK
Once there were two Married People who used "Lovey" and "Pet"
when they were in Company, and as soon as they were at Home they
Threw Things at each other. She used to watch him through a Hole in
the Curtain to see if he Flirted with any Women as he walked up the
Street, and he bribed the Hired Girl to tell him Everything that
happened while he was off the Reservation.
They did not Mocha and Java worth a Cent.
The Cardboard Motto in the Dining Room said, "Love One Another,"
but they were too Busy to Read.
He had a Clearing on the top of his Head and wore Side-Whiskers and
bore a general Resemblance to the Before in an Ad for a Facial
Treatment, and yet she suspected that all the Women in Town were
Crazy to steal him away from her.
Likewise, inasmuch as she was the same Width all the way up and
down, the same as a Poster Girl, and used to sport a Velvet Shroud with
Black Beads on it, and could wield a Tooth-Pick and carry on a
Conversation at the same time, he knew that sooner or later some
Handsome Wretch with Money would try to Abduct her.
Sometimes he would bring a Friend Home to Dinner, and then if the
Friend extended himself and told the Missus how well she was looking
or Perjured himself over her Hand-Painting, Papa would get a Grouch