Miss Civilization | Page 5

all right. There's no light, and everybody's quiet. (To
HARRY) You work the bedrooms. I'll clear away those things. Don't
be rough, now.
HARRY: I know my business. Give me the light. (Takes lantern and
exits centre)
HATCH: Hist, Reddy. Reddy, leave that alone. That's not safe.
(Removes silver from sideboard to bag).
REDDY: I know it ain't, governor. I'm lookin' for somethin' to eat. (He
kneels in front of buffet, and opens door.)
HATCH: No, you're not! You're not here to eat. Come and give me a
hand with this stuff.
REDDY: Gee! I've found a bottle of whiskey. (Takes bottle from buffet
and begins to pull at the cork.)
HATCH: Well, you put it right back where you found it.
REDDY: I know a better place than that to put it.
HATCH: How many times have I told you I'll not let you drink in
business hours?
REDDY: Oh, just once, governor; it's a cruel, cold night. (Coughs.) I
need it for medicine.
HATCH: No, I tell you!

REDDY: Just ONE dose. Here's to you. (Drinks.) Oh, Lord! (He
sputters and coughs violently.)
HATCH: (starts toward him) Hush! Stop that, you fool.
REDDY: Oh, Im poisoned! That's benzine, governor. What do you
think of that? Benzine! It's burned me throat out.
HATCH: I wish it had burned your tongue out! CAN'T you keep still?
REDDY: Oh, Lord! Oh, Lord! Think of a man puttin' benzine in a
whiskey bottle! That's dishonest, that is. Using a revenue stamp twice is
defraudin' the Government. I could have him arrested for that. (Pause.)
If I wanted to. (Pause.) But I don't want to.
HATCH: Oh, quit that--and come here. Get out the window, and I'll
hand the bag to you. Put it under the seat of the wagon, and cover it up
with the lap robe.
(REDDY steps to centre door and, parting the curtains, leans into the
hall beyond, listening.)
REDDY: Go slow. I ain't to leave here till Harry is safe on the ground
floor again.
HATCH: Don't you worry about Harry. He won't get into trouble.
REDDY: Sure HE won't. It's ME and YOU he'll get into trouble. You
hadn't ought to send HIM to do second-story work.
HATCH: (Contemptuously) No?
REDDY: No; he's too tender-hearted. A second-story worker ought to
use his gun.
HATCH: Oh, you! You'll fire your gun too often some day.
REDDY: No, I won't. I did once, but I didn't do it again for six years.
But Harry--ah, he's too tender-hearted. If Harry was a chicken thief,
before he'd wring a chicken's neck he'd give it laughing gas. Why, you
remember the lady that woke up and begged him to give her back a
gold watch because it belonged to her little girl who was dead. Well--it
turned out the little girl wasn't dead. It turned out the little girl was a
big boy, alive and kicking--especially kicking. He kicked me into a
rose bush.
HATCH: That'll do. Harry's learning his trade. He'll pick it up in time.
REDDY: About time he picked up something. Remember the
Gainesville Bank; where he went away leaving ten thousand dollars in
the back of the safe. "Why didn't he pick THAT up?
HATCH: Because it wasn't there. Bank directors always say that--to

make us feel bad. Hush!
(HARRY enters, carrying his silk muffler, which now is wrapped about
a collection of jewels and watches.)
HATCH: That's quick work. What did you get?
HARRY: Some neck strings, and rings, and two watches.
(He spreads the muffler on the table. The three men examine the
jewelry.)
HATCH: That looks good. Who's up there?
HARRY: Only an old lady and a young girl in the room over this. And
she's a beauty, too. (Sentimentally.) Sleeping there just as sweet and
peaceful--
REDDY: Ah, why don't you give her back HER watch? Maybe she's
ANOTHER dead daughter.
HATCH: That's all right, Harry. That's good stuff. Pick up that bag,
Reddy. We can go now.
(HARRY places muffler and jewels in an inside coat pocket. REDDY
takes up the dark lantern.)
REDDY: Go? Not till I've got something to eat.
HATCH: No, you don't. You can wait till later for something to eat.
REDDY: Yes, I can wait till later for something to eat, but I can wait
better if I eat now. (Exit into pantry.)
HATCH: Confound him. If I knew the roads around here as well as he
does, I'd drive off and leave him. That appetite of his will send us to jail
some day.
HARRY: Well, to tell the truth, governor, a little supper wouldn't hurt
my feelings. (Goes to buffet.) I wonder where old man Gardner keeps
his Havanas? I'd like a Christmas present of a box of cigars. Are there
any over here?
HATCH: I didn't look.