Miss Civilization | Page 4

man there all night. Hurry, please, hurry. (There is a pause, during
which the sound of the file grows louder. Alice listens apprehensively.)
Hello, are you the station agent? Good! Listen! I am Miss Gardner,
James K. Gardner's daughter. Yes, James K. Gardner, the president of
the road. This is his house. My mother and I are here alone. There are
three men trying to break in. Yes, burglars, of course. My mother is
very ill. If they frighten her the shock might--might be very serious.
Wake up the crew, and send the wrecking train here--at once.
Send--the--crew--of--the-- wrecking train here--quick. What? Then fire
up an engine and get it here as fast as you can.
VOICE: (calling from second story) Alice!
ALICE: (at telephone) Yes, you have. The up-track's clear until "52"
comes along. That's not until--
VOICE: (Louder) Alice!
ALICE: (with dismay) Mother! (At telephone) Hello, hold the wire.
Don't go away! (Runs to curtains, parts them, and looks up as though
speaking to some one at top of stairs) Mother, why AREN'T you in
bed?
VOICE: Is anything wrong, Alice?
ALICE: No, dear, no. I just came down to--get a book I forgot. Please
go back, dearest.
VOICE: I heard you moving about. I thought you might be ill.
ALICE: No, dearest, but YOU'LL be very ill if you don't keep in bed.
Please, mother--at once. It's all right, it's all right.

VOICE: Yes, dear. Good night.
ALICE: Good night, mother. (Returns quickly to telephone) Hello!
Hello! Stop the engine at the foot of our lawn. Yes, yes, at the foot of
our lawn. And when you have the house surrounded, when the men are
all around the house, blow three whistles so I'll know you're here. What?
Oh, that's all right. The burglars will be here. I'LL see to that. All YOU
have to do is to GET here. If you don't you, you'll lose your job! I say,
if you don't, you'll lose your job, or I'm not the daughter of the
president of this road. NOW, YOU JUMP! And--wait--hello (turns
from telephone) He's jumped.
(The file is now drawn harshly across the bolt of the window of the
dining room, and a piece of wood snaps. With an exclamation, Alice
blows out the candle and exits. The shutters of the windows are opened,
admitting the faint glow of moonlight. The window is raised and the
ray of a dark lantern is swept about the room. HATCH appears at
window and puts one leg inside. He is an elderly man wearing a mask
which hides the upper half of his face, a heavy overcoat, and a derby
hat. But for the mask he might be mistaken for a respectable man of
business. A pane of glass falls from the window and breaks on the sill.)
HATCH: (Speaking over his shoulder) Hush! Be careful, can't you?
(He enters. He is followed by "GRAND STAND" HARRY, a younger
man of sporting appearance. He also wears a mask, and the brim of his
gray alpine hat is pulled over his eyes. Around his throat he wears a
heavy silk muffler). It's all right. Come on. Hurry up, and close those
shutters.
HARRY: (to REDDY outside) Give me the bag, Reddy.
(REDDY appears at window. He is dressed like a Bowery tough. His
face is blackened with burnt cork. His hair is of a brilliant red. He
wears an engineer's silk cap with visor. To HARRY he passes a
half-filled canvas bag. On his shoulder he carries another. On entering
he slips and falls forward on the floor).
HATCH: Confound you!
HARRY: Hush, you fool.
HATCH: Has he broken anything?
REDDY: (on floor, rubbing his head) I've broke my head.
HATCH: That's no loss. Has he smashed that silver?
HARRY: (feeling in bag) It feels all right.

(HATCH cautiously parts curtains at centre and exits into hall.)
REDDY: (lifts bag) We got enough stuff in this bag already without
wasting time on ANOTHER house.
HARRY: Wasting time! Time's money in THIS house. Look at this
silver. That's the beauty of working the night AFTER Christmas;
everybodys' presents is lying about loose, and everybody's too tired
celebrating to keep awake. (Lifts silver loving cup) Look at that cup!
REDDY: I'd rather look at a cup of coffee.
HARRY: (Contemptuously) Ah, you!
REDDY: Well, I can't make a meal out of silver ice pitchers, can I? I've
been through three refrigerators tonight, and nothing in any of em but
bottles of MILK! MILK!
HARRY: Get up, get up, get to work.
REDDY: The folks in this town are the stingiest I ever see. I won't visit
em again, no matter how often they ask me. (Rising and crossing to
buffet) I wonder if these folks is vegetarians, too.
(HATCH enters)
HATCH: It seems