John Bull | Page 7

figure in the world by the generosity of the Lord Strutts. Therefore we
think fit to acquaint your lordship that you must find sufficient security
to us, our heirs, and assigns that you will not employ Lewis Baboon, or
else we will take our remedy at law, clap an action upon you of
2O,OOO pounds for old debts, seize and distrain your goods and
chattels, which, considering your lordship's circumstances, will plunge
you into difficulties, from which it will not be easy to extricate yourself.
Therefore we hope, when your lordship has better considered on it, you
will comply with the desire of Your loving friends, JOHN BULL, NIC.
FROG.
Some of Bull's friends advised him to take gentler methods with the
young lord, but John naturally loved rough play. It is impossible to
express the surprise of the Lord Strutt upon the receipt of this letter. He
was not flush in ready either to go to law or clear old debts, neither
could he find good bail. He offered to bring matters to a friendly
accommodation, and promised, upon his word of honour, that he would
not change his drapers; but all to no purpose, for Bull and Frog saw
clearly that old Lewis would have the cheating of him.

CHAPTER IV.
How Bull and Frog went to law with Lord Strutt about the premises,
and were joined by the rest of the tradesmen.
All endeavours of accommodation between Lord Strutt and his drapers
proved vain. Jealousies increased, and, indeed, it was rumoured abroad
that Lord Strutt had bespoke his new liveries of old Lewis Baboon.
This coming to Mrs. Bull's ears, when John Bull came home, he found

all his family in an uproar. Mrs. Bull, you must know, was very apt to
be choleric. "You sot," says she, "you loiter about alehouses and
taverns, spend your time at billiards, ninepins, or puppet-shows, or
flaunt about the streets in your new gilt chariot, never minding me nor
your numerous family. Don't you hear how Lord Strutt has bespoke his
liveries at Lewis Baboon's shop? Don't you see how that old fox steals
away your customers, and turns you out of your business every day,
and you sit like an idle drone, with your hands in your pockets? Fie
upon it. Up man, rouse thyself; I'll sell to my shift before I'll be so used
by that knave."* You must think Mrs. Bull had been pretty well tuned
up by Frog, who chimed in with her learned harangue. No further delay
now, but to counsel learned in the law they go, who unanimously
assured them both of justice and infallible success of their lawsuit.
* The sentiments and addresses of the Parliament at that time.
I told you before that old Lewis Baboon was a sort of a
Jack-of-all-trades, which made the rest of the tradesmen jealous, as
well as Bull and Frog; they hearing of the quarrel, were glad of an
opportunity of joining against old Lewis Baboon, provided that Bull
and Frog would bear the charges of the suit. Even lying Ned, the
chimney-sweeper of Savoy, and Tom, the Portugal dustman, put in
their claims, and the cause was put into the hands of Humphry Hocus,
the attorney.
A declaration was drawn up to show "That Bull and Frog had
undoubted right by prescription to be drapers to the Lord Strutts; that
there were several old contracts to that purpose; that Lewis Baboon had
taken up the trade of clothier and draper without serving his time or
purchasing his freedom; that he sold goods that were not marketable
without the stamp; that he himself was more fit for a bully than a
tradesman, and went about through all the country fairs challenging
people to fight prizes, wrestling and cudgel play, and abundance more
to this purpose."

CHAPTER V.
The true characters of John Bull, Nic. Frog, and Hocus.*
* Characters of the English and Dutch, and the General Duke of
Marlborough.

For the better understanding the following history the reader ought to
know that Bull, in the main, was an honest, plain-dealing fellow,
choleric, bold, and of a very unconstant temper; he dreaded not old
Lewis either at back-sword, single falchion, or cudgel-play; but then he
was very apt to quarrel with his best friends, especially if they
pretended to govern him. If you flattered him you might lead him like a
child. John's temper depended very much upon the air; his spirits rose
and fell with the weather-glass. John was quick and understood his
business very well, but no man alive was more careless in looking into
his accounts, or more cheated by partners, apprentices, and servants.
This was occasioned by his being a boon companion, loving his bottle
and his diversion; for, to say truth,