I have printed at the bottom of the page the supposed allusions of the
most obscure parts of the story.
THE HISTORY OF JOHN BULL.
CHAPTER I.
The Occasion of the Law Suit.
I need not tell you of the great quarrels that have happened in our
neighbourhood since the death of the late Lord Strutt;* how the
parson** and a cunning attorney got him to settle his estate upon his
cousin Philip Baboon, to the great disappointment of his cousin Esquire
South. Some stick not to say that the parson and the attorney forged a
will; for which they were well paid by the family of the Baboons. Let
that be as it will, it is matter of fact that the honour and estate have
continued ever since in the person of Philip Baboon.
* Late King of Spain. ** Cardinal Portocarero.
You know that the Lord Strutts have for many years been possessed of
a very great landed estate, well conditioned, wooded, watered, with
coal, salt, tin, copper, iron, etc., all within themselves; that it has been
the misfortune of that family to be the property of their stewards,
tradesmen, and inferior servants, which has brought great incumbrances
upon them; at the same time, their not abating of their expensive way of
living has forced them to mortgage their best manors. It is credibly
reported that the butcher's and baker's bill of a Lord Strutt that lived
two hundred years ago are not yet paid.
When Philip Baboon came first to the possession of the Lord Strutt's
estate, his tradesmen,* as is usual upon such occasions, waited upon
him to wish him joy and bespeak his custom. The two chief were John
Bull,** the clothier, and Nic. Frog,*** the linendraper. They told him
that the Bulls and Frogs had served the Lord Strutts with draperyware
for many years; that they were honest and fair dealers; that their bills
had never been questioned; that the Lord Strutts lived generously, and
never used to dirty their fingers with pen, ink, and counters; that his
lordship might depend upon their honesty that they would use him as
kindly as they had done his predecessors. The young lord seemed to
take all in good part, and dismissed them with a deal of seeming
content, assuring them he did not intend to change any of the
honourable maxims of his predecessors.
* The first letters of congratulation from King William and the States
of Holland upon King Philip's accession to the crown of Spain. ** The
English. *** The Dutch.
CHAPTER II.
How Bull and Frog grew jealous that the Lord Strutt intended to give
all his custom to his grandfather Lewis Baboon.
It happened unfortunately for the peace of our neighbourhood that this
young lord had an old cunning rogue, or, as the Scots call it, a false
loon of a grandfather, that one might justly call a Jack- of-all-Trades.*
Sometimes you would see him behind his counter selling broadcloth,
sometimes measuring linen; next day he would be dealing in
merceryware. High heads, ribbons, gloves, fans, and lace he understood
to a nicety. Charles Mather could not bubble a young beau better with a
toy; nay, he would descend even to the selling of tape, garters, and
shoe-buckles. When shop was shut up he would go about the
neighbourhood and earn half-a-crown by teaching the young men and
maids to dance. By these methods he had acquired immense riches,
which he used to squander* away at back-sword, quarter-staff, and
cudgel-play, in which he took great pleasure, and challenged all the
country. You will say it is no wonder if Bull and Frog should be jealous
of this fellow. "It is not impossible," says Frog to Bull, "but this old
rogue will take the management of the young lord's business into his
hands; besides, the rascal has good ware, and will serve him as cheap as
anybody. In that case, I leave you to judge what must become of us and
our families; we must starve, or turn journeyman to old Lewis Baboon.
Therefore, neighbour, I hold it advisable that we write to young Lord
Strutt to know the bottom of this matter."
* The character and trade of the French nation. ** The King's
disposition to war.
CHAPTER III.
A Copy of Bull and Frog's Letter to Lord Strutt.
My Lord,--I suppose your lordship knows that the Bulls and the Frogs
have served the Lord Strutts with all sorts of draperyware time out of
mind. And whereas we are jealous, not without reason, that your
lordship intends henceforth to buy of your grandsire old Lewis Baboon,
this is to inform your lordship that this proceeding does not suit with
the circumstances of our families, who have lived and made a good
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