Essays on the Stage | Page 6

Abusive and Ridiculous. [Footnote: Collier, p. 74] The first, for only
making Jeremy, in Love for Love, call the Natural inclinations to eating
and drinking, Whorson Appetites, he tells, That the _Manicheans, who
made Creation the Work of the Devil, scarcely spoke any thing so
course_. And then very modestly proceeding onwards says, _The Poet
was _Jeremy_'s Tutor_. The t'other Gentleman he dignifies by a new
Coin'd name of his own, _viz._ The Relapser, and much like an humble
Son of the Church, a Man of Morals and Manners tells us, _This Poet is
fit to Ride a Match with Witches: And, that Juliana Cox (_a Non-juring
Hag, I suppose, of his Acquaintance_) never switch'd a Broom-stick
with more expedition._ [Footnote: Collier, p. 230.] Faith, such
sentences as these, may be taking enough amongst his Party; but if this
be his way of Reproving the Stage, and Teaching the Town Modesty,
he will have fewer Pupils, I believe, than he imagines.
But to do that Gentleman Broom-stick Rider some Justice, and because
we shall want a Name hereafter to Christen the t'other, as he has given
the Name of Relapser, so I think that of the Absolver will be a very
proper one to distinguish our Switcher, by which the Reader may
observe, that we are civiller to him than he to us however. And first
then, I desire all Persons to observe, that in other places of the same
Chapter of his Book, our Absolver, for all his detestation of the Stage,
and of Poetry in general, yet takes a huge deal of pains in taking to
pieces, and mending the Comedy of the _Relapse_; nay, and to shew
how transcendent his own Skill in these things is, he has help'd the
Author to a better Name for his Play, and says, The Younger Brother,

or, The Fortunate Cheat, had been much properer. [Footnote: Collier, p.
210.] This shews some good will he has to the Comick Trade however;
and I doubt not, but if his Closet were Ransack'd, we might find a
divertive Scene or two, effects of his idle Non-preaching hours, where
Modesty, Wit, and good Behaviour, would be shewn in perfection.
And yet, as to his own humour, we find it to be, by his Book, more
fickle than even the Wind, or Feminine frailty in its highest
Inconstancy. One while he's for Instructing our Stage, Modelling our
Plays, Correcting the Drama, the Unity, Time and Place, and acts as
very a Poet as ever writ an ill Play, or slept at an ill Sermon; and then,
presently after, wheiw, in the twinkling of an Ejaculution, as Parson
_Say-grace_ has it, he's summoning together a Convocation of old
Fathers, to prove the Stage in past Ages exploded, and all Plays
horrible, abominable Debauchers of youth, and not to be encourag'd in
a Civil Government. What can we think of this, especialiy when I find
him in this Paragraph of his Book * raving on at this rate, and quoting
to us, That St. Cyprian, or the Author de Spectaculis, argues thus
against those who thought the Play-House no unlawful diversion; 'tis
too tedious to recite all, but enough of St. Cyprian for my purpose runs
thus:
What business has a Christian at such Places as these? A Christian who
has not the liberty so much as to think of an ill thing, why does he
entertain himself with lewd Representations? Has he a mind to
discharge his Modesty, and be flesh'd for the Practice? Yes, this is the
consequence, by using to see these things, he'll learn to do them; what
need I mention the Levities and Impertinencies in Comedies, or the
Ranting distractions of Tragedy, were these things unconcern'd with
Idolatry, Christians ought not to be at them, for were they not highly
Criminal, the foolery of them is Egregious, and unbecoming the gravity
of Believers.
And then again, before he is out of breath,
A Christian has much better Sights than these to look at, he has solid
Satisfactions in his power, which will please and improve him at the
same time. Would a Christian be agreeably refresh'd, let him read the

Scriptures, here the Entertainment will suit his Character, and be big
enough for his quality. Ah, Beloved, how noble, how moving, how
profitable a thing is it, to be thus employ'd, to have our expectations
always in prospect, and be intent on the glories of Heaven!
Very good, and who is he so reprobated, that will not allow this to be
devout, and admirable good Counsel? But now let us see how the
Absolver, for all Pious quotation, has follow'd St. _Cyprian_'s Advice;
that holy Father charges him not to entertain himself with such lewd
things as Plays, and he very dutifully reads a