David DeAngelo - Double Your Dating - Attraction Isnt A Choice | Page 7

For men, attraction usually
happens in response to a beautiful face and a nice body. For women,
it usually happens for other reasons (although it can and does happen
on occasion for physical reasons alone).
3. Attraction does have a "logic" all of its own, complete with techniques
you can learn in order to increase it.
4. When a woman feels ATTRACTION to a man, she will do things that
seem to be completely illogical, irrational, and even against her best
interests in order to be with the man who is the object of her desires.
If you're stuck in the idea that a woman "should" feel attracted to a "nice
guy", then your first step is to open your eyes, and take a look around at
some of the OBVIOUS patterns that are hidden right in PLAIN SIGHT around
you.
1. There are a lot of guys who are average looking, average height,
average income, etc. who have ABOVE average success with women.
2. The "nicest" guys aren't usually the ones to whom women are
attracted.
3. There are a lot of men who are truly "bad boys" who get FAR more
than their share of women.
4. We humans, for the most part, are not in control of our "attraction
mechanisms" (or other emotions, for that matter)... in other words,
when we are attracted to someone else, it takes control of us and
there's almost NOTHING WE CAN DO ABOUT IT.
My Concept Of Attraction
“Attraction isn’t a choice; it’s an evolutionary mechanism that
takes over our mind and body long enough to make sure we mate
with someone with the best possible genes.”
Now, it’s not important to the argument what your personal beliefs are
about evolution. I think most people would agree that evolution happened
on some level and is responsible to some extent for our similarities and
differences to other animals. Whether you believe that God started evolution
or it happened on its own is irrelevant to the mechanisms of attraction (In
future chapters I’m going to explain this theory in more detail.)

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„2004 All Rights Reserved. - Attraction Isn’t A Choice - By David DeAngelo
My point is that women, for the most part, can’t help what they are and
aren’t attracted to…
THEY CAN’T HELP IT!
Attraction works differently for men and women. For men it’s all about
looks first, personality second; for women, it’s more about personality, then
looks. Even though they happen for different reasons, I think that the GUT
LEVEL EMOTIONAL FEELING of attraction is probably similar for both men
and women.
Attractive women are approached all the time, so they know the game
and disqualify men very quickly. If you don’t know what it takes to get past
this instant judgment, you have little to no chance.
Most men follow their emotional pulls and evolutionary/social
conditioning when it comes to women. They do the wrong things for the
wrong reasons at the wrong times. They’ve never taken the time to
understand how attraction works nor do they admit they need help, so they
walk around blind for the most part.
If you ask most women what they "want" in a man, they'll say, "Oh, I
want a nice, honest, thoughtful guy who can communicate well..." And the
truth is, this IS what most women "want". But remember, there's a BIG
difference between what women "want" and what makes a woman feel
ATTRACTION.
ATTRACTION is a mysterious thing. The French thinker Pascal once said,
"The heart has its reasons of which reason knows nothing." What he was
getting at here is that our emotional systems have developed over millions
of years through a complex process of evolution and selection. And the
emotions we feel are triggered by things that are usually not at all "logical."
I was walking with friends through an outdoor shopping mall, and one of
them was looking in the window of a women's clothing store. All of a sudden
he said, "I can't stop looking at those nipples." When I looked, I realized that
he was talking about the mannequin in the window. When you looked at it,
you could clearly see a pair of pert upturned nipples poking through the
shirt. As I looked at it, I realized that I couldn't stop looking either!
I'm sure you've had a similar experience with a magazine cover, a
woman walking by, or a TV show. When a woman or part of a woman that
particularly appeals to you passes in front of your eyes, you become
INSTANTLY TRANSFIXED on it. You are literally unable to look away for a
few moments. Sometimes you'll become riveted to the image until it is out

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„2004 All Rights Reserved. - Attraction Isn’t A Choice - By David DeAngelo
of sight. I believe that this particular reaction is an evolutionary
development that helps us men find and mate with women who have great
genes and a youthful (fertile) appearance.
Well, WOMEN have this mechanism as well. But a woman's "attraction
mechanism" responds even MORE powerfully to certain personality traits and
communications than it does to an attractive male body or face. In other
words, if you communicate the right things in the right