David DeAngelo - Double Your Dating - Attraction Isnt A Choice | Page 6

they just can’t
overcome their own emotion of attraction.
Why do women feel strong attraction towards some men… and in many
or even most cases these men are not rich, handsome, or famous?
Because they CAN’T HELP IT.
Why do women feel zero attraction for some men, even though they
have all of the outward appearances of the ideal man?
Because they CAN’T HELP IT.
Think about that for a second or two.
A woman feels these things because she can’t help it. She can’t do
anything about it. To her, it’s experienced as just HAPPENING.
We’re dealing with a mechanism that is stronger than logic, stronger
than reason, stronger than a parent’s warning, and stronger than bad
experiences.

::: 18 :::
„2004 All Rights Reserved. - Attraction Isn’t A Choice - By David DeAngelo
The force of attraction can be unimaginably unfair, completely illogical,
unusually cruel, and beyond comprehension.
People will do things that are totally irrational and exactly opposite of
what’s good for them when they’re under the influence of Attraction.
I’ve seen people take ridiculous risks and lose much of themselves
because of attraction.
But the fact is that attraction is neither good nor bad.
It just is.
Attraction Is Selfish
With that said, Attraction works in very selfish ways. Attraction is not
concerned with the feelings of others. Attraction is designed to hijack a
human mind and body for it’s own ends.
Attraction is either on or it’s off. You either feel it or you don’t.
If a woman doesn’t feel it for you, she probably never will. And if she
does feel it, no amount of reasoning and logic will change how she feels. (On
the other hand, if you start acting like a wussy, she’ll probably start losing
the attraction rather quickly.)
Men, Women, And Attraction
I can remember when I used to believe that being a "nice guy" was the
way to make a woman like me. I believed that if you were "nice" and she
didn't like you, it was probably just because she didn't think you were
handsome enough, rich enough, or whatever—and that there was nothing
you were going to do about it.
I mean, doesn't it make sense that a woman should be attracted to a
guy who treats her well, is attentive, is sensitive to her feelings, gives her
what she wants, buys her gifts, etc.?
Of course it does. It makes LOGICAL sense.
But when I really started to pay close attention to what was happening in
the REAL WORLD, I started to notice a few things:
1. Women would tend to break up with me, play hard to get, and
generally not be happy and satisfied when I treated them "overly
nice". Being “nice” seemed to be the enemy of attraction.

::: 19 :::
„2004 All Rights Reserved. - Attraction Isn’t A Choice - By David DeAngelo
2. My "nice" friends weren't the ones who were attracting all the
women... it was my "bad boy" friends that seemed to be getting all
the attention from the girls.
3. The most popular male "sex symbols" tended to be guys who were
mean, liked to fight, and were basically abusive "bad guy" types.
About six or seven years ago, when I first decided that it was time to
"figure out" this part of my life, I started by reading and learning as many
popular techniques and ideas as I could.
I tried just about every system to "meet women" that has been created.
You name it, I tried it.
But no matter what I tried, there always seemed to be something
missing from the puzzle. Sometimes the ideas worked, but for the most part
it was VERY hit and miss.
Then, one day I was talking to a new friend that I had met about how to
meet women. I was telling him about some of the new techniques I was
trying like handwriting analysis and palmistry...
All he could do was look at me with a kind of half-confused smile on his
face.
As it turned out, this new friend of mine led me to a realization that was
a key to understanding the idea of ATTRACTION.
As he listened to me talk about my ideas on different occasions, he
would always try to explain to me that women aren't attracted to "nice" guys
who “kiss their asses” and do “nice” things for them. He explained that his
method of attracting women involved being arrogant and funny and leading
the woman in the direction he wanted her to go. He even talked about being
kind of rude at times, which really confused me.
As I started to put the pieces of the puzzle together over a few years, I
began to realize that:
1. Attraction isn't a process that happens by "choice". In other words, a
woman doesn't start talking to a man and say to herself, "Wow, this
guy seems very smart and funny... just the type of guy that I've been
looking for... I think I'll feel attracted to him." This has evolved to my
mantra, "Attraction Isn't A Choice".

::: 20 :::
„2004 All Rights Reserved. - Attraction Isn’t A Choice - By David DeAngelo
2. Attraction happens at an unconscious level as an automatic
EMOTIONAL response to certain cues.