David DeAngelo - Double Your Dating - Attraction Isnt A Choice | Page 3

years ago, I had just moved to Southern California to be closer
to the company for which I worked. Shortly after moving, I quit that job,
and I broke up with my long-distance girlfriend.

So here I was, in my late 20’s, in a new place with no friends and no
girlfriend... with that same lonely, unsure feeling that I always got when
I was single.

I made the decision that it was time to get this part of my life handled. I
wanted to figure out how to be successful with women and dating so that I
wouldn't be so insecure anymore.

I didn't like the idea that I could be out in public, see a woman that I'd
like to meet, but have no idea what to do to meet her. I didn't like the idea
that I had to feel fortunate when a woman liked me... but that I had no
control over which women liked me and when I could approach them.

So, being the kind of guy I am, I decided to do something about it once
and for all.

I made a commitment to myself that I was going to do whatever it took
to get this handled. I started reading books, going to seminars, listening to
tapes, and searching the Internet for ideas.

At first, I was excited because there seemed to be quite a bit of good
books available on the topic. But the more techniques I tried, the more I
began to realize that none of the methods being sold out there were quite as
good as the authors claimed.

After literally a couple of years of trying different things, I finally shifted
course. I started watching what guys who were successful with women did in
real-world situations, and I started asking them for help. This is when things
all started to happen for me.

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„2004 All Rights Reserved. - Attraction Isn’t A Choice - By David DeAngelo
One friend showed me how he met women at bars, another showed me
how he met women online, another showed me how he met women at dance
clubs, and another showed me how he approached women on the street.

From this combination of watching guys who were successful with women
and testing new ideas online, I realized a few key things:

1) The things that came "natural" to me, like being "nice" to women,
kissing up to them, buying them things, and doing all the things that
"mommy taught me" didn't work the way they "should have". Women didn't
respond to kind, giving, ass-kissing behavior by giving me attention and
approval. They responded to it by running the other way.

2) Attraction Isn’t A Choice – but most men act as if it is. If a woman
doesn't feel it, then it's going to be VERY hard to make any progress beyond,
"I only like you as a friend."

3) Attraction works very differently for women than it does for men. Men
are attracted to looks first, personality second. Women are attracted to
personality first, looks second. (I know that a woman will see you before
getting to know you, so you'll be JUDGED on your looks, but as far as
attraction is concerned, personality is more important.)

4) Men see all physically attractive women as potential sex partners, but
women don't see all physically attractive men this way. A woman has to find
out a bit about you first – namely, whether or not you’re a Wussy. Then
she'll decide if you're either "friendship material" or "possible romantic
material."
I’ve found that most books written on the topic of dating and
relationships are only half-right. They only tell you what women are
“supposed” to be attracted to according to the unwritten rules of society.
The problem with these books is that they don’t actually address the subject
of attraction!
I’ve found that when it comes to dating and romance, a woman's
STRONGEST desire is to be with a man that she feels a strong emotional
attraction for... a man that fits her genetic, archetypal lock... the Yang in her
Yin.
My belief is that attraction is so powerful that a man who is not
physically attractive, who doesn't have money, who isn't tall, etc. can win
the affections of a woman over a man who does have these things, but
doesn't have the personality and qualities that are naturally and genetically

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„2004 All Rights Reserved. - Attraction Isn’t A Choice - By David DeAngelo
attractive to women.
I don't think that most guys understand that a woman can want to be
around them “just for them”... in other words, that she'll want to be with
him, spend