Dating and Falling in Love | Page 3

SHANNON: Yes, and I would like to say that I
think we need to practice loving our future
lovemate now. Without even having his or
her name or identity right now, begin loving
them, who they are. Support them through
your prayer. Send them love. And send them
blessings and light for their progress, their
health, and their happiness. Practice
honoring their life work now and early on in
dating.

I was able to support you in your life work,
Scott. In fact, I would say that my greatest
attraction to you early on was the fact of
destiny. You and I were both so connected
with our life purposes. And we have that
tremendous point in common. It creates an
incredible bond of unity.

8

SCOTT: I feel like I spent years and years
and years preparing to love you, even during
the times that I was married to the wrong
person, and was wishing that I had a true
lovemate. So all of that time was preparing to
love you. And here it's taking place. I wish I
had had known that then. I would have
saved a lot of suffering.

SHANNON: The second stage of dating and
falling in love is getting to know each other.
And I think the biggest mistake we make is
pushing to know, "Is this the one?" rather
than letting friendship develop. Budding
relationships need to be totally free of that
kind of pressure.

SCOTT: It's so important. Think of it this
way. If it's meant to be love, nothing can stop
it. And if it's meant to be a friendship, then
enjoy that friendship. Take the pressure off
and just be friends. Love yourself enough to
be yourself. Don't try to impress your date.
Be yourself. You want to be known and loved
for who you are. Shannon, when we first
starting dating I loved so much that you
didn't play any games.

SHANNON: I love that too. It meant a lot to
me. In fact, Scott, remember early on when
we started dating we made an agreement?

SCOTT: I sure do, that we would be honest
and open, no matter what, because we know
that was so important to the kind of love that
we both wanted.
9

SHANNON: In fact what happened, I
remember one night early on when we started
dating, you asked me a question. It was late
in the night and everything was quiet. We'd
had a long discussion. And you said,
"Shannon, what do you really want in your
life right now?" And I remember thinking in
my heart I wanted to get married again, but I
would rather die than tell you. And so I think
I just said, "I don't know."

SCOTT: But I knew. I was listening to your
inner heart, and I knew that wasn't an honest
answer. I knew there was more.

SHANNON: I remember that you reminded
me; "Shannon, remember we had that
agreement, and we want to honor that
agreement of being completely open and
honest?" And I thought, "All right, I'm going
to have the courage here to tell him what's
really on my mind." I felt that I was putting
our relationship on the line by saying those
words, but I didn't feel desperate about
getting a lovemate or getting married again.
And I very openly said; "Okay, what I really
want is to get married again." And I really
watched you then to see, “Is he going to grab
his coat and leave?”

SCOTT: I just felt happy that you were being
honest. I didn't feel any pressure. Really, I
think being honest took away the pressure.

10

And the other thing that we did that was so
valuable is we asked so many probing
questions. Questions like, “What are you
thinking?” and, “What would you most like to
say or share right now?

We sat by the fireplace, took walks on the
beach, and spoke deeply and freely from our
hearts as we explored getting to know each
other. It was so satisfying. We both practiced
good listening skills.

Here's another question you can ask when
you’re dating someone that is so powerful.
“What are the two words that best describe
who you are?" For example, right now
Shannon, what are the two words that best
describe who you are to the whole universe?

SHANNON: Wow, I think right now the two
words that would describe me are “Love and