Dating and Falling in Love | Page 2

say, “Next!”

SHANNON: Yes. That "next" is a very
important point.

SCOTT: It's not really love if we aren’t loved
for who we are. We don't want somebody to
be attracted to us if in fact they don't love us.

SHANNON: And you know, maybe they're
looking for someone just like their mom or
just like their dad, and maybe you're not just
like their mom and dad, and you'd have to
change in order to be filling that slot for them
as a lovemate. That's not really what we're
looking for in the love we deserve.

SCOTT: And keep in mind that as you get
closer to the heart of love, and to who you are
and you're spiritual right to be loved, this is
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going to do the attracting. This centeredness
in love is powerfully attractive! It doesn’t
come off as needy. It comes off as someone
who is selective, trusting Love, composed,
and knowing their worthiness to be loved.

SHANNON: Exactly. Scott, where can we go
to find the lovemate of our dreams? Where is
that person?

SCOTT: That's the question on everybody's
mind at this stage, because it seems so hard
in this world to know where to go. Do you go
to a church group, a bar? Do you go to
parties, join an online dating service? Where
the heck do you go? And again, here is the
thought: You want to meet people who have
the same values as you do. So what are your
mutual values?

I remember when after my divorce,, I thought,
"Well, I'll probably never meet another
person." Plus, I felt so unworthy. I was
informally playing a little polo at that time
with some delightful friends, and I started
dating. But I realized after a while that these
aren't the women that I would want to marry.
That's not a mutually held value system here.
We had fun playing polo, but I realized I've
got a mission in life. And I need to be true to
it. The woman I date or marry needs to be on
the same page of values as me.

I realized right then that I needed to go to
places where I’d be likely to meet people who
have the same values as myself.
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SHANNON: You and I met because of our
mutually held values. We met at a conference
we were participating in for teenagers.

SCOTT: Well, it's so interesting too, because
I didn't go to that conference to meet you,
even though that was the most outstanding
result of the conference. I was really asked a
year earlier, "Scott, would you be on a
planning committee for this conference to
help teenage youth in Los Angeles?" And we
planned for a whole year. I think the key was
that I followed my passion. I got deeply,
deeply close to my life message, and that
brought me into alignment, the place where
you were.

SHANNON: That’s how it was for me as well.
I didn’t attend the conference in order to meet
someone. I was committed to help the teens
have the best possible experience.

I've really been surprised in my healing
practice through the years, of the number of
people, women especially, who hide their
spirituality from their love mate. It’s mostly
from fear of rejection. It’s going to come up
sooner or later. It may as well come up
immediately because it is who you are. This
is what you are most seeking to know if it will
be cherished, and if this is the very thing that
the love mate find most attractive about you.

SCOTT: Oh, what a mistake that is when
people hide who they are from the person
they are dating. Because really, if you're not
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loved for who you are, then this is not going
to be rich with love at the critical place of
intimacy and sharing dreams. So expose who
you are. And if somebody doesn't like that,
then that's the wrong person for you.
Another critical point I'd like to make here, is
that when you get in touch with your life
purpose and stay focused on activities and
people that move you along the path of your
destiny, then really this may not be divine
Love's moment for you to find the lovemate of
your dreams. You may be developing the
skills and the talents you need to really raise
you to the person who is most suited for you.
So let's follow our life passion first.