Count Fathom, part 2 | Page 7

Hungary and the late Emperor, to decide their pretensions by a single
combat; in which case he offered himself as the Bavarian champion;
but in this endeavour he also proved unsuccessful. Then turning his
attention to the delights of poetry, he became so enamoured of the
muse, that he neglected every other consideration, and she as usual
gradually conducted him to the author's never-failing goal--a place of
rest appointed for all those sinners whom the profane love of poesy
hath led astray.
CHAPTER FORTY
-ONE
ONE QUARREL IS COMPROMISED, AND ANOTHER DECIDED
BY UNUSUAL ARMS.
Among other topics of conversation that were discussed at this genial
meeting, Sir Mungo's scheme was brought upon the carpet by his
majesty, who was graciously pleased to ask how his subscription filled?
To this interrogation the knight answered, that he met with great
opposition from a spirit of levity and self-conceit, which seemed to

prevail in this generation, but that no difficulties should discourage him
from persevering in his duty; and he trusted in God, that, in a very little
time, he should be able to confute and overthrow the false philosophy
of the moderns, and to restore the writings of Moses to that
pre-eminence and veneration which is due to an inspired author. He
spoke of the immortal Newton with infinite contempt, and undertook to
extract from the Pentateuch a system of chronology which would
ascertain the progress of time since the fourth day of the creation to the
present hour, with such exactness, that not one vibration of a pendulum
should be lost; nay, he affirmed that the perfection of all arts and
sciences might be attained by studying these secret memoirs, and that
he himself did not despair of learning from them the art of transmuting
baser metals into gold.
The chevalier, though he did not pretend to contradict these assertions,
was too much attached to his own religion to acquiesce in the knight's
project of converting the Jews and the Gentiles to the Protestant heresy,
which, he said, God Almighty would never suffer to triumph over the
interests of his own Holy Catholic Church. This objection produced
abundance of altercation between two very unequal disputants; and the
Frenchman, finding himself puzzled by the learning of his antagonist,
had recourse to the argumentum ad hominem, by laying his hand upon
his sword, and declaring that he was ready to lose the last drop of his
blood in opposition to such a damnable scheme.
Sir Mungo, though in all appearance reduced to the last stage of animal
existence, no sooner heard this epithet applied to his plan, than his eyes
gleamed like lightning, he sprung from his seat with the agility of a
grasshopper, and, darting himself out at the door like an arrow from a
bow, reappeared in a moment with a long rusty weapon, which might
have been shown among a collection of rarities as the sword of Guy
Earl of Warwick. This implement he brandished over the chevalier's
head with the dexterity of an old prize-fighter, exclaiming, in the
French language, "Thou art a profane wretch marked out for the
vengeance of Heaven, whose unworthy minister I am, and here thou
shalt fall by the sword of the Lord and of Gideon."

The chevalier, unterrified by this dreadful salutation, desired he would
accompany him to a more convenient place; and the world might have
been deprived of one or both these knights-errant, had not General
Macleaver, at the desire of his majesty, interposed, and found means to
bring matters to an accommodation.
In the afternoon the society was visited by the major's cousin and her
daughters, who no sooner appeared than they were recognised by our
adventurer, and his acquaintance with them renewed in such a manner
as alarmed the delicacy of Captain Minikin, who in the evening
repaired to the Count's apartment, and with a formal physiognomy,
accosted him in these words: "Sir, I beg pardon for this intrusion, but I
come to consult you about an affair in which my honour is concerned;
and a soldier without honour, you know, is no better than a body
without a soul. I have always admired that speech of Hotspur in the
first part of Henry the Fourth:
By Heaven, methinks it were an easy leap, To pluck bright honour from
the pale-fac'd moon; Or dive into the bottom of the deep, Where
fathom-line could never touch the ground, And pluck up drowned
honour by the locks--
"There is a boldness and ease in the expression, and the images are very
picturesque. But, without any further preamble, pray, sir, give me leave
to ask how long you have been acquainted with those ladies who drank
tea with us this afternoon. You'll forgive the question, sir, when I tell
you that Major Macleaver