Clarissa, Volume 4 | Page 6

ever since Sunday
last continually complaining of the distance I keep him at; and thinks
himself entitled now to call in question my value for him; strengthening
his doubts by my former declared readiness to give him up to a
reconciliation with my friends; and yet has himself fallen off from that
obsequious tenderness, if I may couple the words, which drew from me
the concessions he builds upon.
While we were talking at the door, my new servant came up with an
invitation to us both to tea. I said he might accept of it, if he pleased:
but I must pursue my writing; and not choosing either tea or supper, I

desired him to make my excuses below, as to both; and inform them of
my choice to be retired as much as possible; yet to promise for me my
attendance on the widow and her nieces at breakfast in the morning.
He objected particularly in the eye of strangers as to avoiding supper.
You know, said I, and you can tell them, that I seldom eat suppers. My
spirits are low. You must never urge me against a declared choice. Pray,
Mr. Lovelace, inform them of all my particularities. If they are obliging,
they will allow for them--I come not hither to make new acquaintance.
I have turned over the books I found in my closet; and am not a little
pleased with them; and think the better of the people of the house for
their sakes.
Stanhope's Gospels; Sharp's, Tillotson's, and South's Sermons; Nelson's
Feasts and Fasts; a Sacramental Piece of the Bishop of Man, and
another of Dr. Gauden, Bishop of Exeter; and Inett's Devotions, are
among the devout books:--and among those of a lighter turn, the
following not ill- chosen ones: A Telemachus, in French; another in
English; Steel's, Rowe's, and Shakespeare's Plays; that genteel Comedy
of Mr. Cibber, The Careless Husband, and others of the same author;
Dryden's Miscellanies; the Tatlers, Spectators, and Guardians; Pope's,
and Swift's, and Addison's Works.
In the blank leaves of the Nelson and Bishop Gauden, is Mrs. Sinclair's
name; and in those of most of the others, either Sarah Martin, or Mary
Horton, the names of the two nieces.
***
I am exceedingly out of humour with Mr. Lovelace: and have great
reason to be so, as you will allow, when you have read the conversation
I am going to give you an account of; for he would not let me rest till I
gave him my company in the dining-room.
He began with letting me know, that he had been out to inquire after
the character of the widow, which was the more necessary, he said, as
he supposed that I would expect his frequent absence.
I did, I said; and that he would not think of taking up his lodging in the
same house with me. But what, said I, is the result of your inquiry?
Why, indeed, the widow's character was, in the main, what he liked
well enough. But as it was Miss Howe's opinion, as I had told him, that
my brother had not given over his scheme; as the widow lived by
letting lodgings, and had others to let in the same part of the house,

which might be taken by an enemy; he knew no better way than for him
to take them all, as it could not be for a long time, unless I would think
of removing to others.
So far was well enough. But as it was easy for me to see, that he spoke
the slighter of the widow, in order to have a pretence to lodge here
himself, I asked him his intention in that respect. And he frankly owned,
that if I chose to stay here, he could not, as matters stood, think of
leaving me for six hours together; and he had prepared the widow to
expect, that we should be here but for a few days; only till we could fix
ourselves in a house suitable to our condition; and this, that I might be
under the less embarrassment, if I pleased to remove.
Fix our-selves in a house, and we, and our, Mr. Lovelace--Pray, in what
light--
He interrupted me--Why, my dearest life, if you will hear me with
patience--yet, I am half afraid that I have been too forward, as I have
not consulted you upon it--but as my friends in town, according to what
Mr. Doleman has written, in the letter you have seen, conclude us to be
married--
Surely, Sir, you have not presumed--
Hear me out, my dearest creature--you have received with favour, my
addresses: you have made me hope for the honour of your consenting
hand: yet, by declining my most fervent tender of myself to you at Mrs.