Cartaphilus - HOW to Meet Women - The Shy Mans Guide to Relationships | Page 6

not without its perils, and may not be appropriate
for everyone.


Now we come to the critical question. Just how significant are your looks, when it comes to attracting
women?

Physical appearance means little.
How then can we explain the recent phenomenon of women requiring good looks, the masculine
equivalent of "beauty", in their partners? Regrettably, even otherwise intelligent women occasionally
succumb to the propaganda and blandishments of pop culture and its noxious offshoots. They fall prey
to the same fallacy that many men have cherished for so long, that people are little more than
commodities, consumables, and that physical beauty must therefore be the primary consideration in
the choice of a mate. This fraudulent premise turns such women away from the many fine men with
whom they might otherwise find happiness and fulfillment. It is the sad spectacle of the moth drawn
toward the flame, spiraling slowly downward toward her doom. The last thing any self-respecting man
needs is to be hooked up with one of these tragically deluded creatures.

10 You are an intelligent person. Recognize this. Wisdom, gleaned from painful experience, builds the
judgment to make reasoned decisions. Knowledge and competence set you apart. Talents and skills,
carefully nurtured, win respect from your peers... yet you avoid the trap of arrogance. Calm and
controlled, exercise common sense, that most noble of virtues. You have attained maturity.
You are an honest person. Your source of inner strength is rock-solid integrity, an iron-clad sense of
honor. Practice restraint and do not abuse your authority over others. Have a kind, generous heart
and help those less fortunate. Value morality, but show compassion toward the weaknesses of others,
and understand your own.
You are a shy person. Yet does not your very shyness set you apart, give you your own particular
charm, exalt you? Shyness is your center, your power, your shield and armor. Wear it proudly. Glory
in it.
Life is funny, and sometimes bizarre. Laugh at it, and at your own self. People who take themselves
too seriously are pompous, and make spectacles of themselves. A sense of humor keeps things in
perspective, preserves your sanity, and perchance might even entertain your friends and associates.
Let yourself be a thoughtful and caring person. As an attentive listener, you inspire trust in others,
and they freely express their feelings in your presence. Your sensitivity gives you insight into their
needs. Express your own feelings in an honest but restrained manner, and do not hide your
vulnerability. Give and accept compliments. Help. Give comfort. Be a friend as well as a lover.


...the reason I please and mean so much to you is that I mirror your inner self, and something in me
responds to your very being.
Hesse, "Steppenwolf"
Acquire the skill of translating your inner dialog. Share yourself with others. Speak what you mean,
no more and no less. Practice writing, be it a whimsical piece of fiction, or a love letter. Expression is
the art of communicating to others your thoughts and feelings, it is a tool and a weapon, and is
something of a lost art in the modern age.
Cultivate and learn to trust your intuition. Most people can sense "kindred spirits" even across a
crowded room filled with strangers. You find a woman in harmony and in tune with your feelings and
beliefs at the exact time that she finds you, almost as if by magic. It is indeed a magic of sorts, a poorly
understood ability we all share, if it has not been irrevocably damaged by skepticism and ridicule. It is
is a "wild talent", an ability to feel out, sense, intuit, and know another person before even speaking a
word to her. Note that this is separate and distinct from character judgment, an important learned
skill that acts as a double-check and brake on intuition.
Confidence has at its foundation a sense of purpose. Calm, but singleminded, pursue your goals while
respecting the needs and feelings of others. Firm, but not overbearing, inspire others to share your
commitments. Forthright and plain spoken, radiate security.
Willingness to stand up for yourself and your beliefs gives the courage to dare, to take risks, though
tempered with the wisdom to know when to step back from the brink. Be willing to speak your mind,
but know when to hold your tongue. Overcome adversity, survive setbacks, learn from mistakes.
Discipline and self-control give you the inner strength to endure. This is perceived as "character".

11 Be responsible. Keep your word. Always. Develop a reputation for consistency. Win trust by your
reliability. Honor your commitments. Give loyalty when it is earned, and inspire it in others.
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