An Ideal Husband | Page 6

a pause.] Oh! do you really think that is what Mrs.
Cheveley meant?
LORD GORING. Of course. And a very sensible remark for Mrs. Cheveley to make, too.
[Enter MABEL CHILTERN. She joins the group.]
MABEL CHILTERN. Why are you talking about Mrs. Cheveley? Everybody is talking
about Mrs. Cheveley! Lord Goring says - what did you say, Lord Goring, about Mrs.
Cheveley? Oh! I remember, that she was a genius in the daytime and a beauty at night.
LADY BASILDON. What a horrid combination! So very unnatural!
MRS. MARCHMONT. [In her most dreamy manner.] I like looking at geniuses, and
listening to beautiful people.
LORD GORING. Ah! that is morbid of you, Mrs. Marchmont!
MRS. MARCHMONT. [Brightening to a look of real pleasure.] I am so glad to hear you
say that. Marchmont and I have been married for seven years, and he has never once told
me that I was morbid. Men are so painfully unobservant!
LADY BASILDON. [Turning to her.] I have always said, dear Margaret, that you were
the most morbid person in London.
MRS. MARCHMONT. Ah! but you are always sympathetic, Olivia!
MABEL CHILTERN. Is it morbid to have a desire for food? I have a great desire for
food. Lord Goring, will you give me some supper?
LORD GORING. With pleasure, Miss Mabel. [Moves away with her.]
MABEL CHILTERN. How horrid you have been! You have never talked to me the
whole evening!
LORD GORING. How could I? You went away with the child-diplomatist.
MABEL CHILTERN. You might have followed us. Pursuit would have been only polite.
I don't think I like you at all this evening!
LORD GORING. I like you immensely.
MABEL CHILTERN. Well, I wish you'd show it in a more marked way! [They go
downstairs.]
MRS. MARCHMONT. Olivia, I have a curious feeling of absolute faintness. I think I
should like some supper very much. I know I should like some supper.
LADY BASILDON. I am positively dying for supper, Margaret!

MRS. MARCHMONT. Men are so horribly selfish, they never think of these things.
LADY BASILDON. Men are grossly material, grossly material!
[The VICOMTE DE NANJAC enters from the music-room with some other guests. After
having carefully examined all the people present, he approaches LADY BASILDON.]
VICOMTE DE NANJAC. May I have the honour of taking you down to supper,
Comtesse?
LADY BASILDON. [Coldly.] I never take supper, thank you, Vicomte. [The VICOMTE
is about to retire. LADY BASILDON, seeing this, rises at once and takes his arm.] But I
will come down with you with pleasure.
VICOMTE DE NANJAC. I am so fond of eating! I am very English in all my tastes.
LADY BASILDON. You look quite English, Vicomte, quite English.
[They pass out. MR. MONTFORD, a perfectly groomed young dandy, approaches MRS.
MARCHMONT.]
MR. MONTFORD. Like some supper, Mrs. Marchmont?
MRS. MARCHMONT. [Languidly.] Thank you, Mr. Montford, I never touch supper.
[Rises hastily and takes his arm.] But I will sit beside you, and watch you.
MR. MONTFORD. I don't know that I like being watched when I am eating!
MRS. MARCHMONT. Then I will watch some one else.
MR. MONTFORD. I don't know that I should like that either.
MRS. MARCHMONT. [Severely.] Pray, Mr. Montford, do not make these painful scenes
of jealousy in public!
[They go downstairs with the other guests, passing SIR ROBERT CHILTERN and MRS.
CHEVELEY, who now enter.]
SIR ROBERT CHILTERN. And are you going to any of our country houses before you
leave England, Mrs. Cheveley?
MRS. CHEVELEY. Oh, no! I can't stand your English house-parties. In England people
actually try to be brilliant at breakfast. That is so dreadful of them! Only dull people are
brilliant at breakfast. And then the family skeleton is always reading family prayers. My
stay in England really depends on you, Sir Robert. [Sits down on the sofa.]
SIR ROBERT CHILTERN. [Taking a seat beside her.] Seriously?
MRS. CHEVELEY. Quite seriously. I want to talk to you about a great political and

financial scheme, about this Argentine Canal Company, in fact.
SIR ROBERT CHILTERN. What a tedious, practical subject for you to talk about, Mrs.
Cheveley!
MRS. CHEVELEY. Oh, I like tedious, practical subjects. What I don't like are tedious,
practical people. There is a wide difference. Besides, you are interested, I know, in
International Canal schemes. You were Lord Radley's secretary, weren't you, when the
Government bought the Suez Canal shares?
SIR ROBERT CHILTERN. Yes. But the Suez Canal was a very great and splendid
undertaking. It gave us our direct route to India. It had imperial value. It was necessary
that we should have control. This Argentine scheme is a commonplace Stock Exchange
swindle.
MRS. CHEVELEY. A speculation, Sir Robert! A brilliant, daring speculation.
SIR ROBERT CHILTERN. Believe me, Mrs. Cheveley, it is a swindle.