how to make anyone fall in love with you | Page 9

in love. It's the necessary spark to kick-start love.That's just for starters. The starter gets your car going, and then the battery takes over. Similarly,after your brain recuperates from its first shot of PEA, a little reason (hopefully) starts to make itsway through the grey matter. As you and your PLP get to know each other better, you beginexploring your similarities and your differences (we cover this in Part Two), and you both startasking yourselves, "What can I get from this relationship?" (Part Three). We listen to our ego andsee how much reinforcement it's getting (Part Four). Early love is very delicate, and often weinadvertently turn our Quarry off in the first few dates (Part Five). If we get beyond that, what goeson—or doesn't go on—between the sheets plays a gigantic role (Part Six). Throughout How toMake Anyone Fall in Love with You, we will explore all these factors from a scientific point ofview.Let us now go back to the beginning. Where do you find a Potential Love Partner? How do you getthat first shot of PEA shooting through his/her veins over you?Page 234Where Are All the Good Men and Women?Looking for Love in All the Wrong PlacesSingle and divorced people, young and old, all across America are asking themselves as they brushtheir teeth in the morning, as they shave or put on makeup, as they touch up the grey in their hair,"Where are all the good men? Where are all the good women?""One in five Americans is single and searching," American Demographics magazine tells us.8 Thatmeans there are forty-nine million Americans aged twenty-five and older who are single, widowed,or divorced. And their number is growing."Good," you say, "but if there are so many Potential Love Partners around, where are they?" Theanswer is, "They are everywhere—looking for love—just like you." PLPS are sitting in the parkmunching a Blimpie, enjoying music at a concert, walking the dog, riding the commuter train, andgoing to restaurants all around you.Today, even with jet travel, on-line romances, and a shrinking globe, most people marry pretty closeto home. Studies on what social scientists call residential propinquity show that Cupid's arrowdoes not travel far. In fact, one study tells us the median distance traveled by an unskilled worker tofind hisPage 24

spouse is just five blocks.9 Unless you've pitched your tent in the middle of the Sahara, you don'thave to venture far for your hunting expedition. You'll outfit yourself with some new knowledge and,armed with the techniques in this book, you can start tracking Quarry very close at hand.You've heard the wail of unsuccessful lovers: "I'm looking for love in all the wrong places, lookingfor love in all the wrong faces." That's not the real problem. Most have been looking for love in allthe wrong ways.Theatrical performers know they need a different set of skills to get cast from an audition than theyneed to sustain a role on stage. They must immediately knock producers out with their talent,sometimes in one minute or less. Likewise, you need different skills to make someone fall in lovewith you than you need to keep a relationship warm for a lifetime. You must knock your Quarryout—sometimes in the first minute or less. Without that strong first kick, he or she might never get toknow you, let alone fall in love with you.Page 255Does Love At First Sight Exist?Let's say you get lucky tomorrow and spot a Potential Love Partner. He or she is sitting on the stepsreading a book. Or standing in a museum studying a painting. Or getting on the bus. Or waiting inline at the bank cash machine.You sneak a second peek. Something about the stranger revs up your internal PEA factory, and alittle dollop goes squirting through your veins. Maybe it's her looks, the way he moves, somethingshe's wearing. Her aura? Is this love at first sight? Does love at first sight even exist?Well, that's a semantics question. Instant desire, or lust at first sight, definitely exists. However, thescientific world pretty well agrees that love at first sight is merely Monday-morning quarterbacking.A successful love affair, perhaps one leading to marriage, is retrospectively declared to be true love;whereas if one is rebuffed, it is classified . . . as infatuation.''Medical Aspects of Human Sexuality10Semantics aside, one fact remains. Any small stimulus can kick-start love. Your first moves whenyou spot a PotentialPage 26Love Partner are crucial. If, from that powerful stimulus, love grows, you have every right to call itlove at first sight. Nobody will argue with you.Love at first sight has survived because it is an integral part of the many popular beliefs aboutromantic love. Romantic love is an important cultural value to Americans.11 In the same way that a

voodoo curse causes death only in persons who believe in its power to kill them, love at first sighttruly exists for those