how to make anyone fall in love with you | Page 6

though you two are basically alike, you are different inso many utilitarian, fun, and interesting ways.III. EquityThe "WIIFM" Principle of Love"Hey, baby, everybody's got a market value! Everybody wears a price tag." How pretty is she?How much prestige does he have? How blue is her blood? How much power does he wield? Arethey rich, intelligent, nice? What can they do for me?Does this sound ugly? Researchers tell us love is not really blind. Everybody—even the nicestpeople—has a touch of crass when it comes to choosing a long-term partner. It's no different than inthe business world where everybody asks, "WIIFM?" What's in it for me?I can hear some of you protesting, "No, love is pure and compassionate. It involves caring, altruism,communion, and selflessness. That's what love is all about." Yes, that's what love is all about whengood people are truly in love. You've probably even met couples who are deeply devoted andwould sacrifice everything for each other. Yes, this kind of selfless love that we all dream of havingexists. But it comes later—muchPage 12later. It comes only after you've made your partner fall in love with you.

If you want to make someone fall in love with you, researchers say, you must initially convince themthey're getting a good deal. We may not be conscious of it but, science tells us, tried and true marketprinciples apply to love relationships. Lovers unconsciously calculate the other person's comparableworth, the cost-benefit ratio of the relationship, the hidden costs, the maintenance fee, and theassumed depreciation. Then they ask themselves, "Is this the best offer I can get?" Everybody hasa big scorecard locked away in their heart. And, in order to make people fall in love with you, youhave to make them feel they're getting a very good deal.Is all lost if you weren't born drop-dead gorgeous, or if your grandfather's name wasn't Vanderbiltor Kennedy, or if you don't have the compassion of a Dr. Schweitzer? No. In Part Three, we willexplore silver-tongued verbal skills to replace the silver spoon that was never in our mouths whenwe were born. In that way, we can satisfy some very choosy Quarry.IV. EgoHow Do You Love Me? Let Me Count the WaysAt the blazing core of first romantic rumblings is ego. Perhaps Cupid misses the mark when he aimshis little arrow at Quarries' hearts. Science shows us where to really level our ammunition and takefire—right at their egos. People fall in love with people in whose eyes they behold the most idealreflections of themselves.Would-be lovers should be thrilled that ego makes the world go round, because Quarries' egos arevery vulnerable targets. There are multifarious ways to make your Quarry feel beautiful, strong,handsome, charming, dynamic, or however he or she wants to feel. There are big-strokecompliments, little-stroke caresses, and a myriad of deliciously devious means to make your Quarryfeel special. Subtle procedures can convince Quarries what they've suspected all along: "I am differ-Page 13ent. I am wonderful. And to thank you for recognizing this amazing fact, I'll fall in love with you.''Everyone also hungers for security and validation. We seek protection in our primary relationshipfrom the cruel, cruel world. In Part Four, How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You exploresways to make your Quarry feel that you are the salvation—you are his or her safe harbor from thestorm of life.V. Early-Date Gender-MendersIs There Love After Eden?Everyone smiled knowingly in 1956 when Rex Harrison moaned from the Broadway stage, "Oh,why can't a woman be more like a man?" He knew his Fair Lady was a very different animal indeed.But in the era following My Fair Lady, feminists cast serious doubt on his convictions.Now, after many decades of pondering, presuming, and postulating on whether men and womenreally differ in anything but their genitals, the envelope has been opened. The answer is—drumroll

please—yes! Men and women think and communicate in dramatically different ways.Neurosurgeons can point to clumps of neurons in female brains that cause men like Henry Higgins inMy Fair Lady to call women "exasperating, calculating, agitating, maddening, and infuriating."Scientists aim their needles at the molecules in the male brain that make women accuse men of being"insensitive clods."Despite the torrent of data flowing in about the genetic, cerebral, and sexual differences betweenmen and women, both Hunters and Huntresses continue to assume we think alike and persist incourting each other in the way they'd like to be courted themselves. Perhaps recent scientific findingswill give men and women more insight into each other's style, but nothing short of a frontal lobotomycould make a permanent change in which brand of neurons our brains give off. Women will continueto be "exasperating," and men will still be "insensitive." And both will keep on communicating instyles that turn eachPage 14other off, especially on the first dates.To avoid scaring off their prey before they bag it, serious big-game hunters know all