Yorkshire Tales. Third Series | Page 3

goa an see after a Sweep
to come to this chimley, or are we to be smoored an have all th' bits o'
furnitur ruinated?"
"Aw'll fotch thee hawf-a-duzzen sweeps if tha wants em, but why the
dickens could'nt ta say what tha wanted asteead o' startin blaghardin
me?"
"Aw dooant want hawf-a-duzzen sweeps;--one'll be enuff for what ther
is to do, an aw shouldn't want one at all if awd a felly 'at wor worth his
salt, but tha can do nowt. Whativver sich shiftless fowk wor created for
licks me!"
"Why tha doesn't think ivverybody should be born sweeps, does ta?"

"Noa, ther's noa need for that. But when a chap isn't clivver enuff to be
a sweep, he owt still to have sense enuff to luk for one when ther's one
wanted. But aw know one thing, an that is, aw'll put on mi things, an
set off an leeav thi to it, an tha can awther sweep it, or get it swept, or
caar ith' haase wol tha gets sufficated, soa tha knows!"
An wi that, Mally went upstairs to get don'd, leavin Sammywell to mak
th' best he could on it. In a varry few minnits, shoo wor daan agean, an
flingin a shillin on th' table shoo sed, "Thear's th' brass to pay th' sweep
if tha gets one, and be sewer to tell him net to mak onny moor muck
nor he can help, an aw'll cleean an fettle all up ith' mornin; an if tha
wants owt to ait, tha knows whear it is, an as for owt to sup, tha'rt better
baght, an tha knows tha spends sadly to mich," an away shoo went.
Sammywell set varry quiet for a minnit or two, studyin things, an then
he sed, "Ho! Soa that's it! Well, we shall see! Shoo's left a shillin for th'
sweep but nowt for me. Varry gooid.--Then it just comes to this;--If aw
fotch a sweep, he gets th' shillin an aw sit drymaath, but if aw sweep it
misen aw'st have a shillin to spend, soa here gooas!" an he seized th'
pooaker an varry sooin had th' foir scaled aght.
"Aw dooant think it'll tak me aboon five minnits when aw start, an if
aw dooant mak sich a gooid job on it shoo'll nivver know unless shoo
gooas up to see, an' if shoo tries that trick it's sewer to be weel swept
bith' time shoo comes daan agean," an he put on his hat an went aght,
lockin' th' door after him.
Wol he wor suppin his second two penoth, who should come in but his
old chum Parker.
"Halloa, Sammy!" he sed, "What's up? Aw've just met th' mistress and
shoo sed shoo'd left thee at hooam, varry thrang."
"Did shoo? Well, tha sees aw havn't started yet, but aw'st ha to mak a
beginnin varry sooin, tho aw must say its a job at's a bit aght o' my
line."
"Why, whativver is it?"

"Its nobbut th' chimley wants sweepin, an aw doant fairly know ha to
set abaat it."
"Oh, if that's all, aw can tell thi ha to manage that. It willn't tak thi
aboon five minnits."
"Thar't just th' chap aw wanted to see. Call for twopenoth for thisen an
then tell me ha to goa on."
Parker didn't need axin twice, an when he'd getten it, he sed,
"Tha doesn't keep hens, does ta?"
"Noa, aw keep nowt but Mally an misen, an awr Hepsabah's childer th'
mooast oth' time."
"Well, but some oth' naybors do; an tha could borrow one for a few
minnits. A gooid old cock wod be th' best."
"Eeah, aw could get one at belangs th' chap at lives th' next door but
one. They're all off at their wark but aw could get one aght o' their yard
withaat axin."
"Well, then, its easy enuff. All tha wants is a long piece o' string, an a
stooan teed at one end. Then tha mun get on top oth' haase an drop th'
stooan daan th' chimley, an it'll roll daan into th' foir-grate,--then tee
tother end oth' string to chicken's legs, and shove it, tail furst, daan th'
chimley pot, an then goa into th' haase an pool it daan th' flue, an all th'
sooit will come wi it, an it'll be a cleeaner job nor if all th' sweeps ith'
taan had been at it."
"Bith' heart! Parker, aw'st nivver ha thowt o' that. Aw'll goa an do it at
once. Aw could do wi a job like this ivvery day ith' wick."
Sammywell went hooam i' famous glee. He sooin gate some string an
teed a nice cobble stooan to th' end on it, an then he gate up onto th'