a Safety Pin! Tricia and David and Their Flying Unicorns
About the Author Also by the Author
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INTRODUCTION
The United States human population recently passed 300,000,000. Of
that total, more than 60 million are grandparents and their numbers
keep increasing. Enormous changes have taken place in longevity and
lifestyles since today's older adults were young and were, themselves,
grandchildren. Experts estimate that, at the other end of the scale, are
thirty to fifty thousand living centenarians in the United States, up from
a 1980 estimate of fifteen thousand. Add to this fact that centenarians
are not as feeble as they once were; disability rates among the elderly
have been falling since the early 1980s.
Life expectancy at birth in the United States has increased by nearly 30
years since the turn of the 20th century, from 47 to about 76. On the
other hand, families are more widely dispersed, successful interaction
by grandparents with their distant grandchildren, whether for
geographic reasons or barriers of circumstance, increasingly search for
ways to innovate and improvise. Technology, especially electronic
communications, is entitled to credit for successes.
On the other hand, a vast store of practical knowledge as well as a
culture's lore languishes in almost every family, especially among its
elders, more than ready to be passed along to succeeding generations.
An important source for initiatives and models by grandparents to meet
the needs, and the yearnings, of this era's grandchildren and the young
generally are in the observations and experiences of a society's elders.
It is not up to our young grandchildren to say what in we elders'
experiences might be useful or enlightening to them? If it was up to
them, how might they draw it out of us? A paradox indeed.
This is not a child's storybook, although most of the stories, vignettes
and essays may interest youth from toddlers to young adults and, from
other perspectives, parents, grandparents, older adults generally, and
teachers. The book's intent is to demonstrate one elderly lay person's
approach to fostering understanding between generations in the context
of family, school, community and culture, and to suggest examples.
FIRST LETTER TO A DISTANT GRANDCHILD
Don't let that blank sheet of paper intimidate you. Here's a model that
you can rework to suit your situation:
'Grandma and Grandpa now live in a house that is very far from where
you live. We'll still see each other as often as we can, but sometimes
the wait will be just a little bit longer. One way for us to visit is by
telephoning. Another is by our writing letters and emails that Mom or
Dad will read aloud to you. I'll start my writing to you by telling a little
about Grandmas and Grandpas.
'Grandmas and Grandpas are older than mothers and fathers. They
usually have gray hair or white hair. Sometimes, Grandpas have no hair
at all, but that's all right because then Grandpas won't need to use a
comb and hairbrush every morning.
'Grandmas and Grandpas like to take grandchildren to the zoo to see the
elephants and the deer and the monkeys. They also like to take
grandchildren to the park to ride on the merry-go-round, and to the lake
to throw breadcrumbs to the ducks and the geese and the swans.
'On the way home from the zoo or the park, Grandmas and Grandpas
take grandchildren to the bakery. There, they stand at the counter and
smell the fresh bread, and buy cookies and cakes for desserts.
'Grandmas and Grandpas like to play games with grandchildren, listen
to grandchildren tell what happened in the park and at school, and
answer questions. They especially like to read stories to grandchildren
from big books with lots of pictures.
'Grandmas and Grandpas like to hold grandchildren in their laps and
hug them. Grandpas also like to shake hands, or pat grandchildren on
their heads. That is a little bit about Grandmas and Grandpas and
Grandchildren.'
TOO-FARAWAY GRANDPARENT
During a talk I gave to a senior citizens group a woman in the audience
remarked, 'I'm a volunteer helper in a class of first graders at (naming a
nearby school.) I haven't given it much thought until now, but I've
come to realize that some youngsters see their grandparents regularly,
others rarely, and still others see their grandparents not at all. For a few,
grandparents live too far away, and other youngsters don't know where
their grandparents live or even if they have grandparents, but saddest of
all are the kids who don't know what grandparents are.'
Grandparents and grandchildren are natural allies, but when their
homes are too far apart, or other barriers intervene, their alliance
weakens. Everybody loses, including the youngsters' parents - the
generation in the middle.
HOW MY STORIES BEGAN
I live in one city, my
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