Womans Endurance | Page 5

last night") (morgue tents men).
I woke at 2 a.m. with the tramp of these bearers removing corpses[18].
One longs for day, and the night seems never to end.
Twice funerals--morning at 11 a.m. (six), "Leer ons alzoo onze dagen tellen" ("So teach us to number our days"); afternoon, 4 p.m. (six), "En de dooden werden geoordeeld uit hetgeen in de boeken geschreven was, naar hunne werken" ("And the dead were judged out of those things which were written in the books, according to their works").
Our wood has given in, and we are forced to bury in blankets. But let me not think on it! It is painful to remember, and our people feel very deeply.
The Van der Walts managed to put together an apology for a coffin, and there was something pathetically comic about that production. I think it was made of candle and milk boxes.
That reminds me, what queer pastimes some folks can have. One man casually informed me that he attends all the funerals! But some folks unconsciously delight to wander in the sombre shadows of life. A funeral to me is a most fatiguing duty; more so when one has to give an address at the graves, and there is no time for preparation except on the march to the burying ground. I am getting reckless, for I am forced absolutely to rely on impromptu grace. I tremble, when I think what I risk each day.
Visits only a dozen, owing to funerals.
Sad about 91; very bad.
599, 602, 606, 16, 238, 327, all new tents, with great affliction; must go soon again.
Called to 117; Nel; young wife; just received tidings of her husband's death in Ceylon; desperately stricken; hard, hard case.
Called to hospital; Annie Bothma[19]; strong young girl (twenty); very bad; just struggling to live; mother holding hand. Foeitog! (alas!) So well and strong; horrid pneumonia; have visited her again, and cannot get reconciled that she should die. And yet she yearns to be "ontbonden" (loosed), and begs of me to pray to that effect. Now, God forgive me, but this dying girl's request I cannot, cannot accede to. Humanly speaking, she simply cannot live; it is only her abnormally strong constitution that fights so grimly. I have wrestled with God for her life. Oh, she must not, may not, die! Think of the weak, frail mother--of the father far, far away in Ceylon! "O ye of little faith"; and yet I firmly believe God can still spare her life.
Yesterday, row about the miserable meat[20]. Some women rather violent and loose with tongue; to-day committed to imprisonment. Yesterday my letters were returned by the Censor. I boiled over for some time; such a little snob, who is too big for his boots! Pinpricks; will fight it out to-morrow.
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Thursday, August 29.--Went back to hospital after writing above, and then I did indeed pray as the sick girl desired. God took her home at about two this morning. Poor child! she did suffer so very much, and yet withal so patiently; "Die doctor het mij gif ingespuyt en gif ingege daarom lei ik zoo zwaar" ("The doctor injected poison into me, and gave me to take poison; that is why I suffer so bitterly"); very likely morphia had to be injected. Whenever I repeated a verse to her she would say the lines in advance.
After breakfast I went to village for first time; saw Magistrate; obtained residential pass; hunted high and low for boards for coffin for Annie Bothma. At last, after despairing search, succeeded in getting six boards and two boxes; hope they will be enough wherewith to fashion some sort of a coffin.
Dined with the Beckers.
Deaths last night--8, 129, 401, 52, 427, 213, 239, and one in hospital.
Very trying afternoon among the dying.
One woman just giving her last breath when I entered to pray for her; lamentation. Roaring lion, because of the crowd of inquisitives; stood at doorway and addressed them; said I was ashamed of their conduct; boiled over. Simply will not stand such things; and yet such things are inevitable with a camp of 650[21] tents all crowded together; with hundreds swarming all over, and countless children. Am going to put a stop to children visiting morgue tents[22]; should not be allowed; will see Superintendent to-morrow.
91 very bad.
I usually make a last round after the day's work to take Benger's Food and beef tea, etc., to urgent cases. When I got to 268, found she had died soon after my visit.
Have written to Issie and Mr. Robertson.
Wonder how long my things will last, and what I shall do after that.
Dead tired.
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Friday, August 30.--Village; morning visits.
Found 91 died in night.
Dropped in to speak few words to old woman in 25; don't think she will last very long.
79; boy sick; relapse; Van