Womans Endurance | Page 4

and relatives abstain from all long-faced despondency, with total absence of any cheer and hopefulness; this bad effect on patients; if anyone seriously ill, they "hands up" and cluster around to await the end, lest perchance they miss seeing "zoo 'n prachtige sterfbed" (such a beautiful deathbed).
Mrs. Botha (outer Camp) sent for me; penitent; wonder if it is only the fear that drives her, or whether it is a genuine case of true repentance; she has measles badly.
91; mother sick; five children (and one in hospital).
Sad about 398; buried two children this afternoon; this is the third; mother also dead; husband sick; glad I found time to see him; poor fellow.
458; great distress; old grandmother; sick mother; sick children; no nourishment; no candles; very helpless; Benger's Food, beef tea, and candles.
Made only about twenty-two visits to-day.
Relieved Mr. Becker funeral service; seven this afternoon; had no time to prepare; reckless; got through somehow; "Het wordt gezaaid in verderfelijkheid, het wordt opgewekt in onverderfelijkheid" (It is sown in corruption, it is raised in incorruption).
"Ja, leeraar, hier in ons Kamp wordt daar nie droppels tranen gestort nie maar emmers vol" ("Yes, Pastor, here in our Camp it is not drops but bucketsful of tears that are shed").
There are about a dozen corpses in morgue tents just now.
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Tuesday, August 27.--The blessedness of eventide.
Letters from Issie and Louise; seem to have forgotten for a brief space the sorrows around.
Record day so far; visited thirty-five tents; very hard task. It is so delightful to offer up a thanksgiving prayer for a change; the usual "noodgebed" (emergency prayer) is most wearying. Thank God, that in some I found "beterschap" (convalescence).
Am striking out in new direction now; there is too much despondency and heaviness of spirit rampant; anyhow, extremely difficult task, for the conditions all around are most lamentably depressing.
Am going to sew blankets into bag this evening, a la Hanglip[15]; last night bitterly cold; frost this morning; to-day very hot again; these two extremes so disastrous to the sick.
440 little better, and 383 much better.
190; Mrs. Taljard died last night.
Deaths at 201, 312, and 460 also; and all these had never yet been visited. Here is where the dissatisfaction comes in; and yet, how am I to know?
In 436 a child died; mother in great sorrow.
Next to 416 is Mrs. Van der Walt; very sick; not at all serene within; such cases very hard. While at dinner suddenly called to Mrs. Van der Walt--death's throes; prayer; when at dinner, on return, heard the horrible whistle go.
Our wood is done, and there remains nothing wherewith to make coffins; will have to bury in blankets to-morrow I fear; this will cause extra affliction and unhappiness. Pitiable to see husband of Mrs. Van der Walt pleading for boxes which could not be given; and he was "schatryk" (very rich) they say. There will be a great outcry, I'm afraid. And yet, after all, will a coffin save the soul?
After dinner, 169; baby died; mother sorely stricken.
Visited old mother in 25 again, and spoke few words of cheer; she is an old Christian; blessed me for coming.
In luck's way to-day; felt inclined for handwash, and was taken into tent 335; Horak's; relations of old Jaap's[16]; nice, clean, tidy; delighted; happiness; mother; daughter; autoharp; lemon syrup; must go again if I can.
"Wie is daar? Wat is dit?" ("Who is there? What is it?")
"Zal Minheer L---- assemblief gou kom naar Mrs. Meintjes? Zij le op sterve!" ("Will Mr. L---- please come quickly to Mrs. Meintjes? She is dying!")
Just returned; delirious; called her by name after prayer, and she became conscious for a few seconds; fear her moments on earth are numbered. How good of those girls to watch over her! Husband rushed out of tent in tears. Now, what could I do?
"Is there no pity sitting in the clouds can see into the bottom of our grief?"
10 p.m., walked through Camp.
Great coughs; little coughs; deep coughs; shrill coughs; hoarse coughs; long coughs; short coughs; coughs that are no coughs at all. Wonder how many are to die to-night!
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Wednesday, August 28.--Now if there is anything that rubs me up the wrong way, it is to see a crowd around a tent doorway, watching the end. Yesterday I lost my temper at 35, and gave it hot all round. Such barefaced curiosity is revolting; I hate it.
Yes, 35 (21 years) passed away last night, and so did 415 (Mrs. Meintjes), whom I visited late last evening.
This morning the black list was laid on my table; twelve[17] in the night--339, 415, 125, 253, 180, 526, 419, 35, 353, 450, I didn't expect 415 to live long.
The night has been a most restless one; "Ja, minheer, ons het vannacht nie rust gehad nie" ("Yes, sir, we had no rest