Womans Endurance | Page 6

Very trying afternoon among the dying.
One woman just giving her last breath when I entered to pray for her;
lamentation. Roaring lion, because of the crowd of inquisitives; stood
at doorway and addressed them; said I was ashamed of their conduct;
boiled over. Simply will not stand such things; and yet such things are
inevitable with a camp of 650[21] tents all crowded together; with
hundreds swarming all over, and countless children. Am going to put a
stop to children visiting morgue tents[22]; should not be allowed; will
see Superintendent to-morrow.
91 very bad.
I usually make a last round after the day's work to take Benger's Food
and beef tea, etc., to urgent cases. When I got to 268, found she had
died soon after my visit.
Have written to Issie and Mr. Robertson.
Wonder how long my things will last, and what I shall do after that.

Dead tired.
* * * * *
Friday, August 30.--Village; morning visits.
Found 91 died in night.
Dropped in to speak few words to old woman in 25; don't think she will
last very long.
79; boy sick; relapse; Van der Berg; baby died yesterday
Mrs. Castelan lies sick in 76; husband Bloemfontein Camp; three
children sick; also daughter just out of hospital (1-1/4 months).
Called in at 217; Du Preez; very nice, clean people; daughter very sick;
pneumonia; found her very much distressed, and that because the
thought of being buried without coffin was so repulsive; "Net sous een
beest" (just like an animal). We must not anticipate God!
Am much distressed that 383, who was getting well so nicely, and who
smiled when I looked in yesterday, has died.
Mother died few weeks ago, and sister few days ago.
Near the coalfields[23] I was called to see Mrs. Van der Walt; 191;
heart bad; most desperately anxious to be taken "home," and quite
ready too; wonder if she will live through the night!
When a person decides and is determined to die, the chances at
recovery are very poor indeed.
Mr. Otto called and asked me to take prayer meeting 2 p.m. "En
Samuel bad den Heere" (And Samuel prayed unto the Lord).
Then came the inevitable funerals, ten, among others Annie Botha. Oh,
the sorrow of it! the sorrow of it! Nothing is more regular than that
dreary procession every afternoon at four o'clock.

Several in blankets; "Ik ben verstomd, ik deed mynen mond niet open,
want gij hebt het gedaan" (I was dumb, I opened not my mouth because
thou didst it).
Met old Tollie's[24] brother; rejoiced.
Found sick orphan girl I visited first day; much better.
Nice dinner; nice supper; "vet schaapie en vet ou bokkie" (fat lamb, fat
little goat), which we bought.
Wonder what I would have done were the Van As's not here; so happy
with them; everyone always so cheerful[25].
At tea called to pray with dying little girl; went immediately, and found
tent full of weeping and wailing women; the little girl was in death's
throes; short prayer, and when I finished her spirit had fled; mother
frantic; hard, very hard to know how best to comfort. A woman is a
wonderful network of cross-wires, and when these wires get unstrung
or entangled, the result is most distressing. In presence of such, one
feels hopelessly lost, and all one can do is to--walk away. And yet, for
downright, dogged perseverance--for silent, struggling endurance--for
quiet, patient suffering--commend me to a woman. What would
become of Man without the Woman!
* * * * *
Saturday, August 31.--Glum; just returned from dying boy, Herklaas;
young, strong; father Ceylon; visited him yesterday; said he did not
want to die because his father was away, and he had to care for the
mother. Touched late last night, and found him very bad; went down
again with doctor[26]; this morning he was better, but this afternoon
worse, and now (10 p.m.) I find him dying. I am very, very
down-hearted to-night, and am tempted to think that, after all, God--No!
I won't write it, because I believe this is a temptation of Satan! But oh!
we did pray so fervently that God should spare his life; he is still so
young and so strong. Found some more inquisitive onlookers. Some
folks will put themselves to endless inconvenience to be able to witness

a deathbed. They revel in it. I am vexed in my soul, and feel as though I
could knock down everyone of them.
Funerals twice to-day.
This morning I buried seven; "Het wordt snellijk afgesneden" (For it is
soon cut off).
This afternoon Mr. Becker buried six.
There were twenty corpses in morgue tents this morning.
This afternoon a column struck camp half a mile north of our Camp.
To-morrow is Sunday; I am quite unprepared,