Who Was Who: 5000 B. C. to Date | Page 8

service training. Desired to write a book.
Began by taking an army and capturing Europe and England. He did
not waste his time with Scotland or Ireland. C. made a river famous by
crossing it, and finally included Rome in his history of victories.
Became popular with the voters, but had trouble with the Senate. Wrote
books and paid his debts. Was finally attacked by a few vested-interest
senators, and stabbed by a chum. The murderer was caught, but
escaped the gallows. C. was honored with one of the finest funeral
orations over delivered over a corpse. He was also awarded a few
triumphant arches. Publications: Omnes Gallia est divisa in tres parses.
Ambition: Rome: Address: Capitol, Rome. Clubs: Gladiators, Vestal.
Was also a member of the Society for the Protection of Roman Ruins.

Epitaph: Veni, Vidi.
CAIN, one of our ancestors of whom we do not brag.
CANNON, Honorable Joseph G., late of the Speaker's Chair, House of
Representatives, Washington, U. S. A. For centuries C. occupied the
chair, and tenderly protected poor railroads and trusts from the unkind
remarks of congressmen who knew things and him. Was finally retired
from the chair by the Democrats, and from Congress by his constituents.
Grave: 1912 election. Heir: Champ Clark. Ambition: Those good old
trusty days once more. Address: The Far Back Woods. Epitaph: R. I. P.
CANUTE, a king of England who proved the theory that the ocean
could wave at him.
CARLOS, Don, a man who does not believe a head is uneasy which
wears a crown. Ambition: Royal Palace, Madrid. Address: Northern
Spain.
CARMEN, celebrated Spanish flirt. She worked in the government
tobacco factory at Seville until a clever writer and a musician rescued
her. Went on the stage. Has appeared in most of the cities throughout
the world, made love to several singers, and then been killed by a bull
fighter after singing her way through five acts.
CARNEGIE, Andrew, or "Andy," or the Laird of Skibo. A fine old
American who went about giving away libraries, advice, peace
buildings, and advertising armor plate. When a young Scotchman he
scotched his three dollars a week and purchased the steel trust. Later
retired. Ambition: Universal peace with all dreadnaughts steel trust
armored. Also a library in every town. Recreation: Telling young men
how to scorn the root of all fortunes. Also receiving university degrees.
Address: University commencement platforms, New York City and
Scotland.
CARTER, a doctor who wants everybody to have liver trouble.
CARUSO, Enrico, millionaire opera singer, who appeared in the Victor
Talking Machine and New York City. Always had a cold or a sore
throat, a condition which assisted materially in filling the house. Like
all his contemporaries, C. has been sued for divorce and breach of
promise, has lost his jewelry, visited zoological gardens, sung for
charity, given farewell concerts, and done other things to help his
newspaper and box-office reputation.
CASTELLINE, Count Boni Di, a French gold prospector who was

successful for a time in the U. S.
CASTOR, one of Leda's twins. Also invented an oil (see Pollux).
CASTRO, Cipriano, of Venezuela. First man to introduce
American-Irish politics into South America. Acquired a fortune, which
was greatly increased by a personal friendship with the American
asphalt trust. Was revolutioned a few times, and finally escaped with
the mint and his life. Career: Dangerous. Ambition: Subjects without
guns? and a New York police force in his country. Recreation: Taxes.
Address: ?
CHAMBERLAIN, Joe A., of England. A former Lloyd-George of the
Treasury, who had different ideas of taxation.
CHARON, ferryman. Never had a childhood. Devoted life to his
business. Has navigated more people than all the Atlantic liners
combined. Ambition: A launch. Recreation: None. Address: The Styx.
CHAUCER (first name unknown), an early experimenter in the English
language. Notorious as a bad speller. His best-known work is used as a
student puzzle in leading universities and colleges. Ambition: A
typewriter and a dictionary.
CHINAMAN, John, a well-known character in the U. S. who washed
clothes, and made chop suey until he had enough money to return to his
native land, purchase a few wives, and live in opium.
CHURCHILL, Winston, wrote books for a living.
CHURCHILL, Winston, did not write books for a living.
CINCINNATUS, of Rome, who left his plow to make his share in
politics. Later inaugurated the back-to-the-farm movement.
CINDERELLA, the only scullion maid who had a small foot and two
sisters in society. Historians have questioned her claims to fame, but
they may easily be substantiated by millions of children.
CLAUS, Santa, poor father.
CLEOPATRA, of Egypt. A queen who presented England with a
threadless needle, fell in love with some foreigners, was unsuccessful
in her love and naval affairs, and finally became a mummy through the
auspices of an adder. Ambition: