What Every Woman Knows | Page 8

age? She looks young, but
they say it's the curls that does it.
DAVID [rather happily]. She's one of those women who are eternally
young.
JOHN. I can't take that for an answer.
DAVID. She's twenty-five.
JOHN. I'm just twenty-one.
JAMES. I read in a book that about four years' difference in the ages is
the ideal thing. [As usual he is disregarded.]
DAVID. Well, Mr. Shand?
JOHN [where is his mother?]. I'm willing if she's willing.
DAVID. Maggie?
MAGGIE. There can be no 'if' about it. It must be an offer.
JOHN. A Shand give a Wylie such a chance to humiliate him? Never.
MAGGIE. Then all is off.
DAVID. Come, come, Mr. Shand, it's just a form.
JOHN [reluctantly]. Miss Maggie, will you?
MAGGIE [doggedly]. Is it an offer?
JOHN [dourly]. Yes.
MAGGIE [rising]. Before I answer I want first to give you a chance of
drawing back.
DAVID. Maggie.

MAGGIE [bravely]. When they said that I have been run after they
were misleading you. I'm without charm; nobody has ever been after
me.
JOHN. Oho!
ALICK. They will be yet.
JOHN [the innocent]. It shows at least that you haven't been after them.
[His hosts exchange a self-conscious glance.]
MAGGIE. One thing more; David said I'm twenty-five, I'm twenty-six.
JOHN. Aha!
MAGGIE. Now be practical. Do you withdraw from the bargain, or do
you not?
JOHN [on reflection]. It's a bargain.
MAGGIE. Then so be it.
DAVID [hurriedly]. And that's settled. Did you say you would take it
hot, Mr. Shand?
JOHN. I think I'll take it neat.
[The others decide to take it hot, and there is some careful business
here with the toddy ladles.]
ALICK. Here's to you, and your career.
JOHN. Thank you. To you, Miss Maggie. Had we not better draw up a
legal document? Lawyer Crosbie could do it on the quiet.
DAVID. Should we do that, or should we just trust to one another's
honour?

ALICK [gallantly]. Let Maggie decide.
MAGGIE. I think we would better have a legal document.
DAVID. We'll have it drawn up to-morrow. I was thinking the best way
would be for to pay the money in five yearly instalments.
JOHN. I was thinking, better bank the whole sum in my name at once.
ALICK. I think David's plan's the best.
JOHN. I think not. Of course if it's not convenient to you--
DAVID [touched to the quick]. It's perfectly convenient. What do you
say, Maggie?
MAGGIE. I agree with John.
DAVID [with an odd feeling that MAGGIE is now on the other side].
Very well.
JOHN. Then as that's settled I think I'll be stepping. [He is putting his
papers back in the bag.]
ALICK [politely]. If you would like to sit on at your books--
JOHN. As I can come at any orra time now I think I'll be stepping.
[MAGGIE helps him into his topcoat.]
MAGGIE. Have you a muffler, John?
JOHN. I have. [He gets it from his pocket.]
MAGGIE. You had better put it twice round. [She does this for him.]
DAVID. Well, good-night to you, Mr. Shand.
ALICK. And good luck.

JOHN. Thank you. The same to you. And I'll cry in at your office in the
morning before the 6:20 is due.
DAVID. I'll have the document ready for you. [There is the awkward
pause that sometimes follows great events.] I think, Maggie, you might
see Mr. Shand to the door.
MAGGIE. Certainly. [JOHN is going by the window.] This way, John.
[She takes him off by the more usual exit.]
DAVID. He's a fine frank fellow; and you saw how cleverly he got the
better of me about banking the money. [As the heads of the
conspirators come gleefully together] I tell you, father, he has a grand
business head.
ALICK. Lads, he's canny. He's cannier than any of us.
JAMES. Except maybe Maggie. He has no idea what a remarkable
woman Maggie is.
ALICK. Best he shouldn't know. Men are nervous of remarkable
women.
JAMES. She's a long time in coming back.
DAVID [not quite comfortable]. It's a good sign. H'sh. What sort of a
night is it, Maggie?
MAGGIE. It's a little blowy.
[She gets a large dustcloth which is lying folded on a shelf, and
proceeds to spread it over the fine chair. The men exchange
self-conscious glances.]
DAVID [stretching himself]. Yes--well, well, oh yes. It's getting late.
What is it with you, father?
ALICK. I'm ten forty-two.

JAMES. I'm ten-forty.
DAVID. Ten forty-two.
[They wind up their watches.]
MAGGIE. It's high time we were bedded. [She puts her hands on their
shoulders lovingly, which is the very thing they have been trying to
avoid.] You're very kind to me.
DAVID. Havers.
ALICK. Havers.
JAMES [but this does not matter]. Havers.
MAGGIE [a little dolefully]. I'm a sort of sorry